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July 3, 2005
Sunday Sauna
This morning I realized how different I feel now that The Daughter is sleeping on her own. It's remarkable how our bodies learn to live with the pain and agony we inflict... the pain of sleep deprivation amongst the torture devices. I've discovered now that I'm consistently getting 8 hours of sleep I no longer feel drugged when I wake up, I can get up at 7 and feel good everyday...
I went to practice this morning. My third week at a led class, pretty soon it'll be a regular thing :) I was happy to see that OKRGR was assisting again today because I knew that would mean a couple good adjustments for me. When we first started I made a mental note that I wasn't getting very sweaty during sun salutations. I wondered why. We did the regular amount and everyone else looked like they were sweating. It just now hit me as I typed this that I should have connected the fact that my thyroid is seriously off (10.5 which is way, way high when 5.5 is the cut off for normal) and that's probably why I wasn't sweating much at first. The second downward dog one of the teacher trainees came by... tried to force my elbows into a more "normal" position... first went for the elbows, I resisted, then he went for my shoulders by trying to force them. Note to all teachers, if a student resists your first attempt at modifying their body form, it might be a good idea to just leave it. When the count of 5 was up, he left... but he came back the next downward dog. A friend suggested his tactic is to tell the adjuster that he has an injury, which I would do in any other posture... but, in this case, I think it is important for a beginning teacher to understand that hyperextension of the elbows means your downward dogs DO look funny. I stopped and said "My elbows hyperextend and no they don't turn that direction." He sorta mumbled and told me my right shoulder was raised which I can correct on my own... its because of the difference in the hyperextension of my elbows... one is much more severe than the other which causes my downward dogs to be uneven. Tim and Rich have been consistently making me take not of this lately so it was a good reminder to make that adjustment after I get into downward dog. I was surprised to find in my standing poses that I felt really open today. I had thought I would be a little locked up after the wine and cake on Friday night. The first few jump throughs were shocking to me.. why? They were silent. Now I've achieved silent jump throughs before but I often wonder if it's just too noisy for me to notice... but OKRGR came walking by on the third or fourth one and said "Silent!" to me.... I smiled... I was happy it was silent enough to cause notice (I know, I know, bad yogi, attached to the physical asana...but honestly its hard to write about the other part so I really only write about the lucid moments of physical activity I have in the practice.... note we've moved from sun salutations all the way to jump throughs :>). OKRGR then gave me a killer adjustment in Janu Shirasana A... a pose I rarely get touched in... my head was on my shin but he pushed my bent leg down and started to go forward, I indicated to him with my hand to "bring on some more" and he let all his weight go... it was LOVELY... so very lovely. One of the best adjustments I've had in awhile. I maintained those silent jump throughs all the way to Supta Padagustasana today...where I apparently lost some steam.
It was hot in there today... I think, by the middle of practice, I was sweating more than I have ever sweated in there before (and it wasn't nearly as crowded as last week). I had this really lovely centered practice today... There were some, ahem, male versions of eye candy in the room today and I never ever once looked at them. My drishte was completely intact and I was really in my zone. The only time I really came out of it was for Baddha Konasana... I looked around the room for OKRGR but couldn't get his attention... I was prepared to beg for the adjustment... instead I managed to go all the way forward, though not as extended, on my own. In B, OKRGR came over and began to give me some leverage... I decided to do a bit of A again so that I could get a bit more extension. I probably should have told him or indicated that I was going to do this.
My backbends felt awesome today. I don't necessarily think they were beautiful but they felt good. I relished them. Wierd, I know... but I kept thinking (bad lady) "This is one of the last backbends you'll be doing for awhile, love it... find the joy in it." That seemed to work. One of the teacher trainees came by to help me to standing... He only pushed on my lower thighs... a slight push in and he held the strength there. That adjustment really helps me feel how to get up. Someday...
My headstands are better... the fact that I can't get this anniversary band off still hinders it... but I can hold the headstand for the full 25 breaths now... I just can't do ardha if I hold it up that long... partly because my ring is about to sever my fingers and partly because my shoulders lose their strength.
I believe a family member may have found my blog. I found a search for something unusual in the hit logs today. I'm not sure how I feel about that but I've decided that I will continue to post about anything and everything I feel like... this is who I am like it or hate it...
Today while having coffee with LAPROXDOC after practice I ran into the spouse of one of the women from my old woman's group... the one that turned into such a nightmare for me and basically made me clam up and release any attempt I was making at making bonds with women. It was wierd. I haven't seen any of them for 3 years now except once or twice at the grocery store where we spoke for just a couple moments. I tried very hard to be very open and sincere. I meant it but it was wierd.
Tomorrow we usually go to the RSF parade but we got invited to this pool party at a friend's house and I think we've decided to take the kids there in an effort at extending our social network. I really feel the need to "get out there" and start meeting people we can socialize with again (which is why it was sorta wierd to run into that person's spouse because it is the issues with her that basically led me to cower up inside myself). After that we're having the family over for a BBQ and, hopefully, the cloud bank will stay out long enough for the kids to see fireworks (somehow, I doubt that will happen). Happy 4th to you all.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 7:37 PM | Comments (3)