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December 30, 2004
Trying Something New
Today I was all psyched to go to Mysore and, literally, 20 minutes before I was leaving I started my moon. I hemmed and hawed for all of about 3 seconds and decided to say screw it, I was going anyway. I don't know just how bad a taboo that is to break but I do know a lot of Ashtangis that practice regardless so I told myself I just wouldn't do inversions....
My practice was actually pretty good for me... no real totally glaring weaknesses which was surprising since I'm usually really weak around my moon. I actually would consider it a really good and considerably concentrated practice, only looked around a few times. It's funny because when I first started practicing at AYC, I was so busy with myself that I never understood how people could look around but I find that I do that a bit myself now... there are so many uber ashtangis there that it is easy to want to just watch them. Today a friend of mine was there that I've never actually seen practice at the shala before and I have to say, wow, what an amazing practice. I know she's been practicing for years and it shows... very inspirational. Towards the end of practice I got a bit tired but I did the whole practice excluding handstands between Navasana (but I even had pretty strong Navasana today for all 5 of them, maybe because I didn't do handstands -- gee there's a clue). I did 6 backbends.. my back just doesn't feel like it used to but everyone says it is better, maybe it is just coming against the edge, I don't know, I can't see it :) I did drop backs with one of the instructors and coming up and going down actually seems a bit easier. When I was going down the specifically told me to put my hands back at the beginning and I could tell he wasn't really holding my weight much at all. If only I could let go of the fear. It wasn't until I was already in shoulderstand that I realized shoulderstand is an inversion...so I scooted through the finishing poses very quickly and went into savasana.
The rest of my day has been spent working and feeling sorry for myself that I'm missing so much of my children's lives. I don't know how I'm going to get of that funk. Working seems so pointless so much of the time although today I got to read the acknowledgements on a new book in my development arena and I was mentioned in it by name :)
Posted by ashtangagirl at 4:24 PM
December 29, 2004
Improv
I don't know what happened to my brain this morning but I haven't yet been able to find it. I woke up last night at 1:30 listening to the amazing rain/thunder/lightening storm we had. The Daughter was already in bed, but I was worried about The Son being scared so I drug myself out of bed, undid his covers and he was fast asleep. It seems I'm the only one in my family who wakes at the smallest of noises and then can't get back to sleep. After finding my way to sleep again, I woke up at 6:30... just enough time to maybe throw on clothes and make it to Mysore.... but then I wimped out, nanny wasn't coming, wasn't sure what today would hold so I decided I would do the 9am class at the gym... sometimes that teacher does improv with second series and I thought that might be fun. All ready and then I get an email from a friend telling me the one teacher in the area that I absolutely refuse to take a class with is subbing. Hopes dashed, for every Wednesday I have a conference call at 1pm, I'm wondering if there's a way I can make the 10:45 class at a local studio but finally decide to guilt my boss into canceling said conference call (see what I do in the name of yoga) and succeed. Forgot that my best friend was bringing his little girl over for a playdate with The Daughter and The Nanny who wasn't here today. Fortunately, they showed up just before The Husband took The Daughter to the kids club and they all stayed here together.
The Wednesday noon class at AYC is an improv class. Today's class was definitely improv. Two girls were there who had only done Tim's intro class, one girl who had never done yoga and another lady from out of town who, from what I could tell, had a nice practice. We started off with regular standing up to Parsvottanasana (elbows behind back, I'm too lazy to look it up) where we started with a research pose of having a partner push our elbows together while our hands were clasped behind us. I hate to say it but the only thing I feel in that research pose, is my shoulder blade going down my back... getting my elbows together, I can almost do that without help. The girl helping me pretty much said the same thing :) I did her, then Rich came over and I did him... it took more energy for me to push his elbows together than it did for me actually doing the pose myself. The guy across the room exclaimed that I could do that so easily, I replied with "Yes, but you can fly yourself up into handstand and I'll likely never be able to do that." Pick your weak spots!!! On the floor we did a bunch of hip openers, which, again, aren't so hard for me, my hips are fairly open. From there we did a few twists and I have to say that Ardha Matseyandrasna is again just as excruciating as Mari C on the second side only... something in that open hip, eh :) After that we did handstands which are somewhat of a joke for me. I can get up one legged and sometimes even hold it away from the wall for a breath or two but if you even saw my attempt at jumping with two feet I'd hear laughter from all ends of the room. I just can't do it... fear or not, I don't know. After that we did a lot of backbending... first with our toes against the wall in shalamba then into full backbend with our toes still against the wall, one leg up, the other leg, then pushing off and coming over and going back the way we came out. After that we turned around and did backbends with our hands against the wall coming up and down the wall, etc. At that point one of the more advanced students asked the instructor to do drop backs with her so then he did all of us. I apparently can't count because he told me to come up from the last one on 3 and I came up on 2. He laughed and I have no idea if he helped me or if I just came up there on my own because he wasn't ready... probably a bit of both.
The two girls who hadn't been before, wow, super ubi flexibility and never done yoga! Amazing... they were doing some flexibility things I've seen people struggle for for years... and everyone else in the room commented on it including the instructor who said "I could probably put you in any pose, there is no resistance." A lot of people have commented that I was like that in the beginning -- able to do Garbha Pindasana within a week, able to do bound lotus from day 1, etc. I sometimes miss the leaps and bounds of progress from being a really really new beginner to ashtanga. Still a beginner, I make less progress now... now its a matter of muscles which I don't have and stamina. I don't even think I truly know what a bandha is :)
I got home and realized I had completely forgotten that old nanny/yoga teacher was coming today... I got everything wrong today... Dinner tonight with some friends, a fast dinner, not a lot of socializing... Mysore in the morning.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 4:30 PM
December 27, 2004
Saddle Sore
I woke up this morning with my legs feeling better... still sore but better. Holy cow what did Kiran do to me to make me hurt for so long ;) (kidding completely)? I knew I wouldn't have time for 3 hours of yoga (that's commuting, plus practice for me) so I went over to the local yoga studio for a morning Ashtanga 2/3 class with a great teacher. I had received some Body Shop Surya Mat Spray so I had washed my mat off with it yesterday... big mistake. Either I didn't do it right or it just made my mat one big slippery mess :( I put down my Yogi Toes but I'm not used to doing standing with a towel under me so I struggled with traction today. All in all practice wasn't too bad for me considering the first sun salutation left me thinking I'd never get my head to my knees ever again. After a couple, I was warmed up and back to relative normal (with the exception of the foot sliding every time I tried to jump to my hands). We did a mixed up practice today which was a good day for me to do it since I really just needed to get into the groove with my muscles as opposed to worrying about a full primary. We did dhanurasana but this time I put my towel under my hip... it still hurt, I need more padding than a Yogi Toes I think but it wasn't as excruciating... does one just get used to that feeling or do boney hipped girls need to always put something there? We also did the research pose for Kapotanasna and Kiran is going to have to tell you what you call it but the one with your knee on the ground, ankle up the wall, other leg in front bent and you put your arms up the wall then lunge and try to bend grabbing your foot. I was completely surprised that on the second side, I was able to grab my foot on my own. Does that mean my back is getting more bendy? or just pure luck? My tattoo still isn't healed which I find wierd and laying down for shoulderstands sorta irritates it. I'm wondering if I should put off the finishing of it until after the teacher training which is *GASP* 4 weeks away and I can hardly believe it... Seriously.
We've been prying the Gameboy from The Son's permanently fixed hand grip for the past two days. Today was Day 1 of Operation Level Off Playing Time. Usually The Son is afforded 1 hour of media time a day (give and take depending on the situation for the day) but we told him this week he could have 2-3 hours. I might regret this Gameboy thing in the end...
We are going to be childless for New Year's Eve this year... Childless and no idea what to do with ourselves!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:17 PM
December 26, 2004
Post Holiday Weariness
I have been barely able to walk normally, no, I haven't been walking normally since the second series adventure. Walking downstairs is excruciating and, even worse, trying to get all the way down to the ground! It's a good thing I was so sore since I couldn't practice over the weekend anyway. Christmas Eve we read some stories together... I was so proud of my son when we started speaking about God and he said "Mommy I know that God is everything. God is everyone. You are God, I am God, the trees are God, this bed is God. God is everything!" He really believes it and I love that. We woke on Christmas morning to my son asking if his new shirt was too big. Jolted from sleep I realized he had already been downstairs and was looking in his stocking (we celebrate the Winter Solstice in our family but we started doing Santa's visit a couple years ago when The Son wondered why Santa would come on a different day than his friends. Since we figured it would spread the cheer out a bit, we wrote Santa a letter telling him it was fine to make just one trip and he's been doing it ever since). Of course, his inquiry caused the sleeping The Daughter next to me to jump out of bed faster than her feet probably could normally carry her and run downstairs. It's always an interesting process to watch the difference in my children. Raised in the same household with The Daughter having a lot more mellow parenting than The Son did (when I was obssessed with following the "rules" as opposed to moderation) they do things completely differently. The Son started with his gift (Santa brings one gift each plus a filled stocking), The Daughter with her stocking. I knew The Son was getting some inner tension when he saw the Santa gifts. The Daughter's was a box as big as she was, The Son's a tiny box no bigger than the palm of his hand. To little ones, bigger is most definitely better and I knew he was anxious about opening his gift. When he realized he had received a Gameboy he first got a huge smile and then I saw the anxiety return when he looked at me and said "Can I keep it?" I love that he asked. I love that he is in touch with our family values enough to realize that this was a huge gift for our family and a big change in our list of "things we'll never do." I love that he believes in Santa so much that it was never a question to him whether Santa left that... evident by the look on his face when he asked if he could keep it. We told him that he could and even better was that he read the note Santa left him all by himself. The Daughter's Dora dollhouse was the last thing on her list but, surprisingly, doesn't seem to be her favorite. Another venture off our course of "non battery operated" toys... what I'm noting is that she's more likely to use these toys without the battery features, she just likes what they look like (like her singing Barbie which doesn't sing much but she loves to play with).
After presents, I had a lovely conversation with someone I know who is Jehova's Witness. We discussed modern American Christianity, what the bible says, why JW's don't celebrate holidays and birthdays. I love when people of other faiths are open to discussing their beliefs in a non-judgmental and non-defensive manner... it allows for so much understanding and I was surprised at how many times we each say "I totally agree."
For the rest of the day, I made dinner for 10. I love to cook so cooking all day long doesn't bother me much but I'm always amazed at how long it takes to make and how little it takes to consume. My brother-in-law brought a 91 Pinot Noir for dinner which was a huge treat. Everyone was in a positively holidayish mood and we even managed to get the kitchen cleaned up in record time.
No discussion of this weekend could be complete without a mention and a prayer for those people who have lost their lives in the East. It is so devastating and I feel such profound loss.
Now on to the task of removing the Gameboy permanently glued to The Son's hands away from him in an effort to force feed him nutrients to continue going... He has one week, one week of indulgence in this toy and then it becomes part of the regularly monitored and timed media allotment.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 11:56 AM
December 24, 2004
Amendment
Let me amend my post from yesterday to say HOLY COW could I BE any more sore. My thighs are so sore I can barely move down my stairs let alone think about practicing today and I have this GNARLY bruise on my hip from dhanurasana... even my little girl said "MOMMY what is that big purple spot on you for?" A lesson in why we are taught this practice one pose at a time ;) Let me also amend the previous post to say that my mind was basically blown for the entire day yesterday after that practice... I was in lala land for most of my day... completely and utterly blown.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 11:21 AM | Comments (1)
December 23, 2004
Naughty or Nice?
Practice today was lethargic and probably one of the worst practices I've had in a long time. I had been feeling like I was coming down with something last night and then got lost reading Mad Cowboy instead of sleeping... I swear even when I can sleep, I for some reason don't sleep well. I woke up this morning feeling groggy and weak and I still haven't figured out the food intake thing with doing Mysore classes (so far, I've been eating nothing but I feel very weak during practice). To practice I went and the first few sun sals felt horrible! I have to admit that I wasn't bummed to see that Tim was leaving for the day ;) One can cheat more when he isn't around! I struggled through practice, not feeling very graceful at all and my hamstrings were wierdly tight. Although I got bound by myself in supta kurmasana, it was actually a bit painful which isn't usual for me. Too much bad food this week, I guess. The lovely Kiran was practicing next to me and when I got to finishing she told me I was going to do the first half of second series since today was a good "play day" (i.e., Tim wasn't there). At first I was like "no no no" but she said "yes yes yes" so I went along to humor her ;) Actually I really like the first half of second series and most of it isn't very difficult for me at all. I don't know the names of the poses but let me take a stab -- first in Pashasana, I went to do it on the first side with my towel bunched up, I got bound and twisted by myself when I realized I wasn't using the towel so on the second side, I just didn't use it although my heels were raised a bit off the floor. I was very happy to get bound all by myself! Of course, I have very long limbs so it might not be too surprising. Krounchasana I actually got a nice adjustment in... Shalabhasana was good... I LOVE Bhekasana (yes, I'm looking at a book)... I can get my feet to the floor very easily but I can't lift up at the same time so the teacher came over and lifted my upper body back and I have to tell you that might be my favorite pose ever. It feels so good. In Dhanurasana, I couldn't see what Kiran was showing me to do so the girl next to me told me to put my feet together... that's all good and fairly easy but, I'll tell you, the pressure of my hip bone pushing into the mat was excruciating... sometimes I feel that in Shalabhasana on my pubic bone but this was really painful. Ushtrasana we did, the I attempted Laghuvajrasana but couldn't make it back up by myself. We did the prep for Kapotasana... the teacher adjusted me on one side and I was shocked that he got my hands to my feet (where one leg is up the wall, the other in a lunge and you are bending back trying to grab your foo)... truly shocked. Kiran helped me down to Kaptoasana and I could feel my toes but I was so worked that I couldn't go any further. We did Supta Vajrasana together which makes me feel like the air is being sucked out of me... She forced me to attempt Bakasana (which, aside from rolling in Garbha Pindasana is probably the bane of my yoga existence ;>). We did Bharadvajasana an dArdha Matsyendrasana which was surprisingly difficult for me on one side... the SAME EXACT pain in my hip as in Mari C... interesting. Kiran went on to the rest of the stuff that I'm light years from doing... but I did try to get my leg behind my head for Eka Pada Sirasana... I can get both of them back there but I can't make them stay... If I hold it there I can fold forward and reach with one hand but if I let go, my leg pops off. By the time I was done with that (having done all of first series too), I was worked. My thighs were literally shaking and my back was sore. I only did 3 mediocre backbends and a very quick finishing sequence. Exhausted. I know I must have burned something because the ONLY thing I wanted to eat was a horribly fattening indulgence -- granola (really good homemade granola) with a smoothie overtop (smoothie with bananas, strawberries, whey, wheat germ and fiber) and sprinkled with coconut flakes... so I stopped at Jimbos and picked up the supplies for said indulgence.
All in all, that was very fun. I feel badly writing about it because I shouldn't be doing 2nd series at all but it was FUN to try it and have help doing it. Laprox from EZBoard walked over and said "See you are a natural for 2nd series" which made me feel good and if he's right, I still have to get through first series ;) All in all, pratice and all is coming.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 12:35 PM
December 21, 2004
Tight Skin Stretching
Last night for The Husband's birthday I indulged in some vegan chocolate cake and then proceeded to stay up way too late reading this book I'm totally into (The Kite Runner). I showed up to Mysore this morning to see that the teacher is back and surprised that there weren't very many people there. I got to meet TaraIsAGoddess from EZBoard today :) but I generally just had a mediocre at best practice. I was tired and out of shape from not practicing. My back is still a bit tweaked so I told Tim when I walked in that it wasn't healing so fast and I might not do all of the series. I ended up doing everything but lazily and without a lot of grace. During backbends he came over and had me use his ankles then took his hands over the tattoo and into my shoulders... at first I thought "Oh Shit" but then I realized it just didn't matter. That was probably the best backbend I had. He had me stand up from backbends by pressing on my hips and then putting his hands right under my hips which I had never done before and was surprised at how easy it was, almost effortless. Some of the poses laying on my back were not too comfortable, especially the closing sequence, so I moved through those quickly. That'll teach me to eat like crap the night before ;)
Happy Happy Solstice!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 11:35 AM | Comments (1)
December 20, 2004
Holiday Happiness
I nearly titled this Holiday Hell but, truly, it isn't though, if you let it, it can certainly seem like it is. Thursday was the first of the holiday parties. This one was mostly for the kids so it was okay. Friday night was our annual community party... adults only shin-dig that usually ends up with some stories the next day... you know your yoga practice is catching up with you when you sit around drinking water all night in the hopes your new tattoo will feel stretchy enough to go to class the next day. My back is itching so bad that I've taken to wearing summer clothing (so its a good thing San Diego has been so damn warm this week) but at the party it got a lot of attention (my name on the EZBoard is suburbfreak for a reason) and, frankly, I got a bit tired of people actually touching me or just not dropping it. I realize that having a visible tattoo, especially living in the area I live in can make for conversation and, yes, I expected that but, you know, a few hours in it just gets old. On Saturday we had a "cocktail party" to attend. I was only going to know one or two people at the party but we were more excited about this party. For the first 45 minutes we somehow became entangled with a very, very wealthy Ranch couple. The wife was the age of the husband's children *wink* and had just started practicing yoga. She explained that she does aerobics and weights and is now doing yoga for the extra relaxation she didn't feel she was getting and the stretch. I told her she should try ashtanga and she indicated she had (but she took it with the teacher that doesn't do traditional ashtanga) so I told her if she wanted to try a yoga class that "had it all" she should really go to AYC and just try it once... I wouldn't be surprised if I saw her there... of course, after her polo season has ended. She told me about their travels in India and how different it is and both she and her husband assured me I didn't really want to go there... but I do. I made the mistake of correcting her when she said that in America we don't have a class society... someone living in the Ranch with 8 horses on site, a 2400 sq. ft. "guest house" and the size diamond she had on probably just doesn't SEE the very real issues people of a different class in this country have to deal with. Granted, we aren't talking about a caste system but there is an issue of class in this society even if we aren't born into it. I quickly excused myself and was promptly hit on by the bartender who told me I was "fascinating" and how sorry he was that I was married. I told my husband I must be doing something damn right, I've been getting hit on so much. In all actuality I think I am finally just so comfortable with where I am and who I am that it shows as confidence I might not have had before. The most astonishing part of the evening however happened after we left when my husband proceeded to tell me about a very drunk woman who, no joke, asked my husband and our neighbor (they were talking together) if they could grab a bar towel and assist her in the bathroom... you see, she wasn't wearing underwear and was so wet she needed some help!!!!! Apparently she also asked them to blow on her (she was hot and sweaty you see), did a sexy dance in the doorway lifting up her dress for them and all the while her husband was behind them!!! Okay, they say she was clearly drunk and joking but, I'm sorry, what?
I haven't practiced again this week. I think the last time I practiced was Friday night, yea, Friday. I didn't finish because I was told not to lay on my back for a week. Tomorrow is a week ;) :) so I'm planning on going to Mysore and hoping the back holds up through a practice. I'll tell ya, my arm didn't heal like this one... this one is itchy, tight and doesn't like to be stretched at all. It is so itchy that it actually kept me up for 4 hours on Saturday night.
Tonight is my husband's 43rd birthday... and the Solstice Eve. Tomorrow the kids will get up at the crack of dawn and beg us to open their Solstice gifts. We'll sing Happy Birthday to the sun and then, for the first time since having children, we won't be having friends over for a celebration. I'm really sorta sad but remembering that we have plenty more years ahead of us... We will be, instead, celebrating Christmas with my family at my mom's house.
Merry Merry Solistice To Everyone!!!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 7:13 PM
December 16, 2004
35 Year Old Mommies
One of the things I'm really enjoying about the experience of getting a tattoo are the new reactions to my being that I get. I find it fascinating the looks I get, the questions... Today I've had two people I never would have expected tell me what a beautiful piece of art it was and sound like they mean it, two young girls who were like OMG you're so cool, an Indian man ask me if I could stop so he could read it, another person who's reaction really seemed positive but you just got that vibe that they were just saying that... its such a range and people communicate with you sometimes differently.
I was talking to my friends on the way to the tattoo shop the other day that I think one of the problems in our society is that we don't open our ourselves up really reaching to people with our human nature too often. There are so many societal rules, whether you are male or female, if you're talking to a male or female, what subject you are on... we are so busy doing checklists in our mind if that person does xy or z that we aren't really accepting the human part of us that we all have. I think this is why there is so much diversion in our country... if we could all stop and do what Jesus did, Buddha did, God did, Allah did etc., etc. we could really all accept each other regardless of anything we do or think or believe in or see as beautiful. I really love getting to talk to more people than I used to and really see if I can just be me with them and see the human. It's very cool.
Today someone asked me why I waited until I was 35 to get "those tattoos".... because I finally know myself and feel complete. I'm not saying I've reached samhadi or have become enlightened, no that's a journey of a lifetime but I finally feel comfortable with who I am and why I am and what I am and the path I see ahead. Wife, mother... practicing yoga... its easy sometimes in yoga to see the person across from you doing the end of second series or, heck, just second series and feel like you are so far from getting there and how much less you must get it than them... but like I've become comfortable with being a wife and what that involves, being a mother and the sacrifice of your soul, being a human... I finally feel comfortable with the practice of yoga and the lifelong journey that is. Whether you do first series for 30 years before pashasana or not. It's just all the journey of getting there.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:52 PM | Comments (2)
December 15, 2004
Mysore...Well Halfway
Every Wednesday I have a conference call at 1pm which makes it hard to do the noon classes at AYC. I've never embraced the idea of getting up at 6am to go to Mysore classes (plus I was using the T/TH deal as a way to get my feet wet with Mysore) but last night, given that I hadn't practiced since Atlanta, I told The Husband to wake me up and I would see how I was feeling. 6:15... was finding excuses in my head... 6:20 I said "fuck it, I might as well just go." Brushed my teeth, threw on clothes, turned the heater up to 90 in the car and drove over. The room was already fairly full so I was on the other side of the room from the heater :( My back was very tight and sore today and my muscles clearly took a toll with all the tension I had filled inside yesterday. The first few downward dogs were a bit nerve wracked but then I started to get warm and things were well. When I originally started, the teacher wasn't there yet so I didn't get to mention that my back was tender and a bit sore before he came over in twisting triangle to adjust me. Since usually the teacher leans a bit in and stretches from one end to the other I whispered "Please don't touch that!!" He says "What?!" I said "That!" indicating my back... as he stretched me I could feel it stretching out... so when we were done he stood me up and had a good look at it, asked me what it meant and when I said that the bottom leaf said yogini he said "No, YOU!????" I'm not quite sure what that meant ;) I went on with my practice, standing was fine... when I got to seated and attempted to do Purvattanasana I felt my back so badly that I had to stop. I tried it a second time, going more slowly, breathing more deeply but as soon as I dropped my head back I knew it wasn't good for me to be doing. The rest of seated postures I had to think through how to position the stretch of my back so that it didn't feel so strongly... the assistant came over and exclaimed "Oh you got it done! I saw it when I first walked in!" (she had seen the sketch last week after yoga during tea break). She helped me in a couple postures and when I got to kurmasana she came over and told me I shouldn't move too far into supta today.... I decided not to roll in garbha pindasana so I just held it then moved into kukutasana... baddha konasana the assistant laid over me being careful not to put any of her body over my upper back... it was painful and I ended up having to come out of it. After that she told me she could see some blood vessels bulging so we decided it would probably be best if I stopped my practice then and there and not do anything else especially anything that required laying on my back. I did a short headstand, child's pose and left.
Though I'm sad I only got a half a practice in, I'm so happy that I got my butt out of med and actually went!!!! I discovered that I actually like getting up early and practicing and I might try to find a way to work in 1 or 2 more days of Mysore if I can swing it. When I got home I had to have the Nanny help me apply the ointment to my back.... I bet she didn't think helping mommy apply tattoo ointment would be part of her job description ;)
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:07 PM | Comments (1)
December 14, 2004
On The Back
I got my back tattoo this afternoon... My two best friends came with me... it was sorta the 2004 Christmas present that lasts a lifetime for all of us. We had some snags, one of the artists ended up not being available for one of the boys which sucked, he ended up at the shop next door. I started first, a two hour session and we didn't finish the whole thing. The only parts we didn't do were the OM in the very center and the dotted decoration on the outside of the lotus. Frankly, I was just worn out. The experience was much more painful this time around and much more exhausting. I haven't been feeling 100% for a couple of days -- probably from flying, I swear there are more germs on an airplane than a hospital -- and I'm sure that added to the exhaustion of the sitting. The physical sensation was on the realm of practicing yoga for a few hours I think.. constant breathing and a lot of tension in the muscles that I was consistently trying to let go of. My whole body started shaking involuntarily at times, especially on the parts close to an over the spine and shoulder blades. The poor artist from Guru Tattoo, Dave, I was a basic moving target for him! I also discovered that I do much much better with the tattoo experience if someone is feeding me candy and talking to me the entire process like Angel did last time.
All in all, I love the design... THANK YOU SO MUCH NETI!!! Now just to finish off the last little bit.
Work In Progress
Almost Done -- One 20 minute sitting left
No practice today.... or since Thursday actually. Tomorrow I will practice though I imagine the stretch on my back might be a discomfort... Strangely enough, I was feeling slightly sick earlier today (and yesterday) but during the tattoo session I felt GREAT.. now I'm starting to feel a bit scratchy again. Adrenaline, the miracle drug.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 5:59 PM | Comments (8)
December 12, 2004
The Long Journey Home
Friday my meetings went really well... actually much better than I expected. I was basically giving a presentation to Head Cheese #1 and Head Cheese #2 about what I do, what I've done and why I'm doing what I'm doing (i.e., why they pay me to be there). I didn't find out until after the meeting that the scheduling of this meeting was specifically initiated by Head Cheese #2 in order that I could go to the firm Holiday Party. I was a little peeved that I was the only person in my entire department to be going... since I don't work in the office, I only know one or two people outside of my department but you can't exactly say no to Cheeses #1 and #2 now can you? At the last minute I was told I could bring my friend, Michelle, who lives in Atlanta with me so we gussied all up and went vowing to eat dinner and run. We had a few drinks, ate some food and talked to some people. I found out a lot about the firm I work for and met some good people. Around 11pm we left the party for "some fun" and the guy who is the liasion for my project and a department decided to come with us. From here on out, I'll use the affectionate term cowboy that we gave to him about halfway through the evening.
We went to some bar called East Andrews in Buckhead. When we walked into the bar a very, very (okay very very very) hot tall man approached me (okay, wait, let me reiterate the very very very hot to incredibly beautiful man). He leaned down (I own up to loving it if a man has to lean down to me... probably because it is a rare thing) and said "I think you are absolutely incredible, can I buy you a drink?" For a fleeting second of alcohol induced amnesia, I could imagine being 10 years younger, sans family and having said "Oh absolutely yes" but instead I said "I'm sorry but no." He was clearly confused (I suppose a hot man like that is used to blushing yeses) and asked why. I said "I'm married and have two kids." Question asked, question clearly understood and five minutes later he was holding hands with some girl and clearly after tail for the evening. Though it was only for a fleeting moment, I do have to admit that the attention was incredibly flattering. It's not often that I am called "absolutely incredible".... I mean, after 10 years of marriage, things are much more, what's the word, comfortable (?) than that around here. My ego has to own up to it being sorta nice. At 35 I feel much more in tune with my body, myself and as a result, I feel much more awesome than I ever did 10 years ago.
After forcing my friend to dance with some man who never learned the lesson of keeping his hands to himself, we took cowboy and headed across the street to the much less of a meat market, more mellow English pub. On the way I apparently greatly offended cowboy by not allowing him to help with my jacket. I tried to explain that in the ream of that same comfortable world, I'm not used to a man requiring me to allow his help... in fact, regardless of how much comfort 10 years can give a couple, I just don't need a man to help me with my jacket, my arms work, thank you. Alas, my explanations only inflamed cowboy (and apparently his mama too) even more. A Boddingtons ordered (cowboy and Michelle did shots) I proceeded to cause more offense by confessing that Jesus Christ is not my saviour and I simply can't believe he's coming back to life to damn me to an eternal lifetime in a pit of fire. It's amazing how different the Bible Belt is... I'm very out of my element.
All in all I had such a wonderful time on Friday night. Michelle and I just hung out like we used to. I always have a very open honest dialogue so the offenses didn't phase me, I used to be very good at that actually... only 15 years ago I'd laugh and get off on it and now I just think how sad that there can be so much division and such a narrow definition of what is acceptable to some. Cowboy got a little too drunk so we decided to drop him off and go back to the hotel where we proceeded to order room service at 3am, chow down then pass out without even saying goodnight. Needless to say, I skipped yoga on Saturday.
I spent the day hanging out and relaxing then went to the airport for my flight of which the first leg went smoothly and the second leg didn't happen at all. I was grounded in Denver and finally ended up with a canceled flight due to fog here in San Diego. Since this is an act of Cowboy's God, the airlines doesn't pay for a hotel, meals or anything... fortunately for me, I was on business travel and therefore had an expense account but I truly felt sorry for some of the people, in particular a young girl, who were truly not feeling they could afford the $50 rooms at Motel 6. The airlines refused to allow us to pick up our bags and so I went to the Marriott and had to purchase deoderant, toothpaste, underwear, a shirt, a brush... and try to get some sleep (that didn't really work out too well). Finally, 12 hours later, I landed in San Diego completely and totally spent and barely working cognitively.
This week is going to be a huge week for me. Tomorrow I'm redoing my large presentation from my conference in August (but this time via telephone which is always harder). Tuesday I'm getting my tattoo (I asked an Indian couple on the airplane yesterday if they could read it, they could but they told me that Stri is not often used for wife so I need to go back to that word). Thursday is a Hannuka celebration. Friday and Saturday are two holiday parties. Goddess of light please let me find Mysore classes T/TH and maybe even tomorrow.... I need my mat.
(PS a big wave hello to Tom from Atlanta Yoga... thank you so much for your kindness and I hope to take you up on it next time!)
(PPS I turned on comment moderation momentarily because I'm having a spamming issue but haven't had time to address it in code)
Posted by ashtangagirl at 4:12 PM | Comments (3)
December 9, 2004
Yoga In Atlanta
Last night I tucked my kids into bed and let them know that I wouldn't be there when they woke up in the morning.... I went to bed early, planning my travel around the 6:15 led primary class at Atlanta Yoga. About midnight my daughter climbed into bed and I heard her wimpering... I said "Honey what's wrong" and she sobbed "I miss my mommy." I said "I AM your mommy, I haven't left yet" and she squirmed her way next to me and went back to sleep. At that point I was up every hour or so in anticipation of 4am when the alarm would go off then wake her again... I woke up for the 5th time about 3:52 and turned off the alarm. I turned on the light in our closet and shut the door, getting ready in the box of our closet... shortly thereafter I hear pitter patter.... heading towards the stairs... its pitch black outside so I go running after her... too late, I find her in the kitchen, wimpering... I want my mommy... so I pick her up, take her upstairs and talk to her... does she want Grandma to come sleep with her, No, she wants me to stay... I can't stay honey but I'll be home soon and you're going to have so much fun with The Nanny -- the pet store, school, the park... and Grandma is taking you to McDonalds! *gasp* and I'm going to bring you a special present from the airport. That still didn't work so I asked if she wanted The Son to come sleep with her. The Son normally sleeps like a log so I figured going to move him would be no big deal... of course, at 4am, this backfires and he wakes up... wants to know why I'm putting him in my bed. I explain that his sister is scared and would he be a big brother and go lay with her... so he tells me HE is scared... LOL comedy of errors.... Finally get this worked out, down the stairs heading for the door when I hear the two of them talking... I tell them "Guys, its 4 AM you need to sleep" and my son says "I KNOW Mommy, but really it is 4:18" ... I listen for awhile and hear him telling The Daughter they need to sleep... I need to leave so I go.... I fret all day that The Daughter was upset when she woke up again....
Flying sucks these days. I got on a plane at 5:50AM and was offered a class of something to drink. The first plane ride was probably one of the scariest flight I've ever taken.... a rollercoaster, I actually sat doing breathing exercises because my mind was going to blow. I got on the next plane within minutes of getting off the first plane and again, something to drink. I basically flew from 6am to 4pm with nothing to eat offered to me and no time to get anything myself. I brought an organic bagel with me and a bag of almonds... so for the day I had a handful of almonds and half a dry bagel with some water... Determine to make yoga, I run to get my bag which takes 45 minutes, race to the Hertz rental place, get in my car, wait A HALF HOUR to get out of the parkijng lot only to be told that they put the wrong car in the numbered stall. By this time it is 5pm and the traffic is horrible... I get the right car and its pouring down rain... 5:50.... still on freeway... but miraculously I make it to the yoga place, get my clothes changed and have a really great practice. I forgot how much more limber my hamstrings are in the evenings compared to mornings. I was a bit tired so I skipped some vinyasas but that didn't really stick out because it doesn't appear they actually do vinyasas between sides there. The people were really nice and the instructor was good... she gave me some nice adjustments. The only thing I found different was that she counted backwards and it tripped me out for awhile.
Early morning meeting... hopefully more yoga on Saturday....
Posted by ashtangagirl at 6:50 PM | Comments (2)
December 8, 2004
Atlanta Yoga
Barring any unforeseen weather or other traveling issues, I should be able to make the 6:15pm led primary series class in Atlanta. I'm sorta bummed that there is no early morning Mysore classes in Atlanta because, believe it or not, I'm already MUCH preferring Mysore over led classes. Now I feel like I'm missing out. I noticed that Onlyoga has a second series class at 6pm but I don't think I'm prepared to do that outside of the nicety of Tim yet... or even with Tim again yet. I am hoping I can possible make the 9:30 led class "all levels" at Atlanta Yoga on Saturday. My flight doesn't leave until 5pm but since a good friend of mine lives there we, uh, quite often party hard while I'm out there. I feel this little twitch inside that is saying "Screw going out and partying, just go sleep and practice in the morning...."
So, I'm outta here.... gotta get up at like 4am *gasp*
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:00 PM
December 7, 2004
Bolster Drop Back
Last night I ate an entire piece of vegan chocolate cake from Jimbos. I was pretty sure that class was going to be a nightmare because of it... especially because I hate it at 8pm. What can I say, I have a huge chocolate tooth. Sun Sals were a bit difficult for me. My shoulders just felt tight and tired. Nothing notable in the beginning except that, for whatever reason, I simply have no balance at AYC. I never usually have any balancing problems but I notice it everytime I'm at AYC. I attributed this to carpet when I'm used to wood but after class some girls were saying they have the same problem and they don't think it is the carpet... mhmmm... I didn't have enough strength for many jump throughs today... I was just tired. I was excited to get to kurmasana today and although my kurmasana felt deeper and quite good, I didn't get bound by myself today. It was definitely the chocolate cake paying me back :) When I got to backbends I wasn't feeling particularly gumbyish... but after my first 3 backbends a friend in the room called me over and instructed me to get some bolsters, that I was there... The teacher came over and said "no no...." and told me to do what I had been doing which was putting my hands on the backs of my thighs and looking at the ground... He basically told me to trust him and to let go, that I was so close... So he was helping and I could see the ground but I just couldn't let my hands go... I finally dropped one and then the other and came back up. He told me he wasn't really helping me at all but I tried it on my own and though I could see the ground, I just couldn't let go. Finally, after 4 or 5 iterations of this, I went to teh wall with the bolsters and with ease was able to drop down onto the bolsters. I guess I should practice that way because it really is just mental for me. Mental...mental... fear...
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:08 PM | Comments (2)
December 5, 2004
It Just Felt Right
Today I practiced at the club's traditional first series class instead of AYC. I had the intention of AYC but then my husband didn't get up early enough to surf so I knew he wouldn't be back in time for me to make it. I dressed in layers and I looked like a complete fool I'm sure walking around the room trying to figure out what spot I could get into that would avoid the draft from the air conditioner that, for whatever reason, always seems to pop on midway through the class. The gym administrator keeps saying it is because people complain it is too hot in there... I don't know who is complaining but clearly they come from the Arctic. Today was one of those practices that just felt perfect. It all felt somewhat in balance... I still had my usual struggles, getting my shoulders back in chatarunga, breathing through the pain in my hip in Mari C, trying to figure out how the hell a person rolls *around* 9 times in garbha pindasana because I always keel over but it was all good. I did manage to get bound and crossed all by myself again today :) Backbends still are sucking for me right now... I feel stiff as a board and weaker than a reed. The two people next to me had never done ashtanga before (one no yoga ever, first yoga class!) and it was sorta funny to see and hear them next to me. I enjoyed seeing it through their eyes.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:30 PM
December 3, 2004
Even The Teacher Noticed
Today has turned into stress-day for me... I got up late this morning mostly because my daughter stole the covers from me all night so I was in and out of sleep freezing. I know you east-coasters will laugh out loud but it is damned cold here in San Diego right now. The first even to happen this morning was a call from my boss informing me that I have a mandatory meeting at my office on Friday. My office is in Atlanta. This wouldn't normally be such a big deal but The Husband is out of town all next week on business as well... so I scrambled around. I'm going to have to miss the Prana sale *SOB* but my mom and The Nanny will be handling the kids for two days while we are both gone. It will be an adventure, we've never both been out of town at the same time. With the stress of reorganizing the life of 6 people this morning I made it to the noon first series class. The teacher noticed that I was now a "monthly" student which I thought was very cool... The lovely Kiran practiced next to me today which is always inspiring. I swear if I could drop back and get up like she can, my life will be complete (this sentence is completely said in joking manner). On the other side of me was one of the ladies I'll be rooming with in Maya Tulum. Practice was fairly decent for me. The last sun salutation just killed me. I think part of my path is to build up the stamina to practice as much as I will be going to the shala as a monthly student. Since I only ever really did the entire first series twice a week, doing it 3-4-5 times a week will be a definite kick in my ass. It isn't flexibility at all... my arms are about to fall off right now though. What WAS monumental about my practice today was that I actually GOT BOUND AND feet crossed ALL BY MYSELF today. After I was done, the teacher pushed my feet over my head more but I got bound, fingers all the way clasped all by myself. I leaned over and told Kiran I was so excited! I had to leave before class was over to address the next stressful incident of my day so I actually didn't get to do all the backbends but that was probably a good thing as I was rather tired anyway.
Once I got home, I had to get my son from school and get my kids to Escondido to meet up with Grandma who was taking them overnight so we can have a DATE night. I asked my husband to pack their things up... got in the car and proceeded to find literally no way out of San Diego County that wasn't just horrendously stop and go at 2:30PM!!!!!! As it turned out, my mom got all the way here from Escondido faster than I could get to the 15 freeway. Of course, in the middle of the parking lot we discover that The Husband packed, uh, nothing.... no clothes for tomorrow, nary a change of underwear, no asthma medication for The Daughter.... leave it to a man... so my mom had to come all the way back to my house for supplies before taking off.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 4:22 PM
December 2, 2004
December -> Paid In Full
The Nanny came this morning and I flew out of the house, drove my son to school, ran and got gas... then realized I forgot my mat in the house. 99% of the time, if I leave my mat out, my husband will throw it in the back of the car. He does this because he knows that I will run to make class and forget it. Today was the 1% time that he didn't throw it in there. Looking at the clock it said 8:30 and I was in a horrendous line of people-going-to-work traffic. I raced home, ran to get the mat and raced up to Encinitas. I made it with plenty of time wearing two fleece jackets, my Uggs and cranking the heater in the car to about 90. Kiran had forewarned me that with Tim out of town, the room has been less crowded and cold...
Practice was good. I started off forgetting how many As and Bs I was on. I thought I knew it but then I realized the guy next to me started before me when I thought I had done 5 of both... but the girl next to me who started after me had already finished. I think the guy next to me did extras because it took him almost two rounds after I was done to finish. Things went pretty well, I was next to the heater and plenty warm. I really struggle with Utthita Parsvakonasana holding it a full 5 deep breaths. I can do 5 short breaths but trying to extend my breath is hard. I also don't feel like I get twisted enough but I'm not sure why. The instructor came over and adjusted me in Parsvottanasana and it was great. Whenever someone adjusts me in those pose, they push my hands further together... this is only odd because my hands are pretty much together already and I can get them nearly all the way up my back (remember, hyperextension of the elbow and long limbs make this not so interesting)... I think it has something to do with the direction my elbows are pointing. I also got some specific adjustments in Virabhadrasana B today... getting my arms more extended out and level with each other as a I have a tendency to put the back one up a bit higher. My first few jump throughs were actually pretty decent.... I went through the series up to Navasana and then decided to do hand stands against the wall... I twisted my wrist coming down and so I stopped and wimped out on the other 2 Navasanas... I suck. I got a nice adjustment in Supta Kurmasana... Again, I could actually grasp the tops of my fingers but when I went to wiggle my legs closer together I lost them again. The instructor came over and had me separate my legs again, pulled my right arm a bit and wala, full grip hand to hand. Then he put my legs further over my head than I think ever which was SUPER DUPER nice. Garbha Pindasana is actually a fairly easy pose for me to get into but only when I'm not sweaty. Isn't that funny. I watch most people lube up their arms and I'm trying to dry mine off. I've been watching people do this pose and the one thing I noticed is that they don't go very far up and down... I tried that today but got stuck again... my issue seems to be that this kills my spine. I have a very boney spine and it seems if I roll with just a slight lean so I can turn, it still hurts, so I lean a bit more and then I topple over. I swear I'm never going to learn to roll on my own. Without help today I cheated and just rolled up and down a few times. I got a very nice adjustment in Baddha Konasana... the instructor laid over me but what I really liked was that he really paid attention to the tension I carry in my shoulders, he was indicating to me repeatedly breathe and let it go here. It was oh so nice. When I got to Setu Bandhasana my neck just ached when I came up. That has never happened to me before and although I can't get my legs all the way straight yet, I never have a problem with my neck. I came down and tried it again but it was severe pain so I backed off... it was only then I realized I forgot Ubhaya Padangusthasana and Urdhva Mukha Paschimottansana so I went back and did those before starting closing. My backbends felt horrible today... I had tomato soup last night and some nuts/raisins at 7am this morning so I thought perhaps I would bend easier without any meat for more than a day but I didn't. I did the assisted dropbacks with the instructor but I feel like I've taken 10 steps backwards towards coming up on my own... heavy and way too much space between hands and feet.
One thing I've noticed about 9am Mysore is that it is really tripping out my body. I really do love Mysore practice better but food is going to be an issue. Since I've gotten home, my head has been pounding and this is the headache that I get when I've gone too long without eating. I ate some raw nuts/raisins this morning with a bunch of water but not eating anything else until 1:00 has really thrown me for a loop. I get "tipsy" really easily without food and it can last forever... I'm going to have to figure out to work this out.
Tonight starts the onslaught of holiday cheer... I'm going to pick up the special gift I ordered for my friend with cancer. It is funny because I had actually ordered this for myself and saved the one I got for her... so I ordered a second one and it finally came in.. I am excited to see it. After that I have a moms-only holiday party at a neighbors house who sells jewelry and such. Sunday a yogini who brings back wares from India is having a holiday special. Next week three celebrations back to back... the holidays are officially here and I am WOEFULLY far behind!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 1:39 PM