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November 30, 2004
All Okay
So The Nanny did come... at 8:30. I must have told her that a couple weeks ago thinking I had to leave at 8:30 so it was a good thing all around that my moon came. The Daughter needed a bit of re-adjustment to The Nanny after having not seen her for a couple weeks. Once the 10 minute readjustment period was over, they had a great morning -- collecting seashells at the beach and playing at the park. I had to let The Nanny drive my car since The Husband took off with the other carseat today. I was a little nervous a few hours later when I hadn't seen them but they came home in time to eat and go to school and they appeared to have a great time... I feel much pressure lifted off the shoulders that I have help finally... all these years I've done this basically without outside help, a little here and there with my yoga teacher but nothing consistent... I feel like I can get into a groove.
It looks like our schedule will work out that I can do Monday's noon class at AYC, T/TH Mysore and maybe even Friday mornings... This whole nanny thing might work out even better than I expected.
I asked at another blog about the EcoMat. I've been looking at since I saw an ad for it in some magazine but I've never known anyone who actually used it. None of the pictures on the website does the surface justice though so I was curious about the actual texture of the mat. Jute is normally very rough... but, alas, I'll wait until someone I know tries it out and maybe I can see and feel it. I'm a very texture specific person afterall.
I forgot to mention that after yesterday's practice the instructor told me that I had a nice practice... I know I shouldn't be motivated by any external praise but I've been thinking about it since yesterday. It made me feel, not good, but like I actually am doing something even if it isn't everyday... like, what's the word, I can't think of it.
I've been taking sepia (homeopathic remedy) for my painful moons... and I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised that today isn't grueling. It's not lovely but not nearly as distracting as normal. Maybe a few more months of sepia and I might feel normal.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 1:42 PM | Comments (3)
Mysore Bust
45 minutes until Mysore and I won't be there.... A) The Nanny has shown up and I am freaking out here... maybe she got a better offer! B) I got my moon last night and the first day is always grueling. Holy Cow what if The Nanny doesn't come back!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:19 AM | Comments (2)
November 29, 2004
Sorta Constricted
Saturday I practiced at the club... pretty crowded room with a good teacher. I knew when she began her first sentence with "Well, we all probably ate a lot this week let's burn some of it off..." that she was going to have us do full vinyasas. Having not practiced since Wednesday, I dreaded the thought but in actuality it was sorta fun. I didn't feel weak or unable to do it. Not an amazing practice but good all around. Sunday was deemed a "family day" -- this means we rode bikes to the park, went to lunch (and saw my friends leaving the shala after the Sunday morning class), hung out in the afternoon, ran some errands, etc.
This morning I didn't make the 9am class, the 10:45 class so I was gearing up to make the noon class when I called my friend who has been dealing with breast cancer. We talked for awhile and I was saddened to hear that the lymph node they removed does have cancer and therefore she must have another surgery and chemotherapy. I am so very sad and angry. I know she is too. She told me she was going to make the noon class so I went too. Another friend showed up as well. The class was good. I love the heat at the shala compared to the club and I was freezing this morning so it really helped me. One thing I noticed today was that the first sun sals were fine, I didn't even feel them. Bs are always harder for me, the repeated chatarungas do me in. I still struggle to get my shoulders back where they are supposed to be on the way down and my elbows always feel wierded out like they are in the wrong position. The first half of practice was good and I felt pretty normal... backbends... I've been noticing that for the past month or so my backbends seem to have taken a downward turn... I can't get as deep or feel as limber. I think that it has something to do with the vata air we have going on... the cold, wind, dry air. I'm very prone to getting a vatta imbalance and I think I need to pay some more attention to it. My husband doesn't believe in heaters so I'm always cold these days (sorta a joke really... not that he doesn't believe in them, he just hates to turn it on). After practice we went out to eat at Ki's which was nice and relaxing... I took a bunch of time off work but it was a good outing. I had just been telling myself that it is up to *me* to be more involved with people in the yoga community... I often lament not having friends with the same interests that I have. We had thought about throwing a solstice party... we have always had solstice parties but, after moving out of the circle of "alternative parenting" friends I had made, it just never felt right again. I had just been talking with my husband about this the night before in a flurry of PMS hormones making me feel tormented and cynical about the state of our social life. He made a mention that I haven't really tried very hard to integrate or make friends via yoga... maybe I really need to do that outside of this box and Ashtangi.NET. Coincidentally we got an invite to a Christmas party today... a cocktail party. I don't think I've ever been to one so now I have to go find something, somewhere to wear... what's a girl to do?
My check cleared for Maya Tulum today :) It's official. I have a non-refundable plane ticket and my fees paid and I'm going! HOORAY. The Nanny starts tomorrow and, provided my moon doesn't get here, I should be able to make Mysore tomorrow. For real.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 7:23 PM | Comments (3)
November 24, 2004
Sanskrit Learning
For those of you studying Sanskrit, I found this site today.
It has Word templates and fonts which, when installed, allow you to type in Devangari... it is pretty cool. It took me a bit to get it setup right (of course, this might be because I develop large-scale applications within the Word appdomain and have all kinds of shit loaded) but, once you get it, you can type in an 'a' and get an a in Sanskrit. The bummer is that you still have to know how to do concatenations, etc, but all in all this is very, very cool.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 4:07 PM | Comments (4)
November 23, 2004
Words One Hates to Hear
I've heard a few lately but today I got to the dreaded word, asthma, to the list. I won't go into the whole story because, frankly, well, just because it's too long but we went through quite a bit with The Son when he was 1... the whole albuterol, nebulizer, doohicky. When they started talking about steroids and life-long illness ... that's when I started actually thinking about alternative health options for my kids even though I'd practiced them with myself for a long time. We stopped traditional treatment, enlisted the help of a homeopath, an acupuncturist and a NAET practitioner and, lo and behold, thousands of dollars health insurance wouldn't pay for and The Son is so healthy its beautiful. I'm just fascinated by his body's ability to really achieve so much healing. Last night the alarm clock was set for 6:15 with plans to go to AYC for the 7am first series class... about 2:30ish I leaned over and said to The Husband "It's probably okay to turn the alarm clock off now.. clearly I might not even get to sleep until 6 at this point." Such is the life of a yoga-mommy... pulling an all-nighter with a coughing 3 year old. This cough has been going on for awhile, sorta in and out... not 100% sure if she was better or not... to ensure there was clear lungs, we took her to the doctor where he uttered the *asthma* word. Oh the dread.
I've been reading Ram Daas Living the Gita and I'm truly loving it. There are some parts of his book that I just nod my head... I really get how he describes certain of his experiences - certain "everyday" things I've always considered very spiritual experiences but only a select few people that I know feel the same way about.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:29 PM | Comments (2)
November 20, 2004
Slip Into Something a Little More Comfortable...
(for those of you country fans out there... I know it is SHOCKING that I would know the catch tag of a country song and actually use it!)
Practice today was nice... 5As, 5Bs and then, my friends, Surya Namaskara C. Mostly, I dislike C. Today it wasn't as bad as in the past. I really concentrated on why I hate this so much. I hate it for multiple reasons ... it really takes me out of my center. I'm heading towards the wrong wall (read "WRONG"), it's backwards, I'm used to it the other way. When I had this moment in class I thought WOW... I'm so attached to the traditional way that I'm so closed off to anything else. I really tried to be open to it and I actually had some fun. Heck, I even held twisting bakasana for like a count of 3 (but I still don't understand how one does this pose without falling prey to the pain of the elbow in the hip... this is why I call Uncle when I do). So, a good practice. Fun but less meditational than I generally like. I have found myself consistently dreaming of Mysore... .scheming how I could do it 5-6 times a week (keyword "dreaming"). I think I have solidly sold 2x a week and I should take what I can get now ;)
This train of thought reappeared tonight in my bath. I love hot baths... hot hot hot so hot baths. It's horrible I know but I love them. I was listening to Krishna Das (the iPod rocks if not for the sole reason that it goes EVERYWHERE, ANYTHING at your fingertips.. rock on ipodsavant), God Is Real. That song just moves me in my soul like no other song has done before. Everytime I listen to it I feel so connected to ALL the peoples in the world. I feel this profound distinction of oneness with everyone... like I finally GET it. I think, if any conservative hardcore Christian listened to that song, they'd feel exactly what I feel and that's what blows me away. All my life I've been searching to GET it... somewhere in these archives is a basic history up til I started studying Buddhism... but even Buddhism left me wondering, left me not feeling 100% at home... but the expression of God, with God, to God through yoga... I feel at home. I feel like I GET it. I feel like finally I understand what Cathars felt... or name any other religion in the world.. just that we all have this path, this path to God and its really just all the same... we all just use different language. The thing that is hard to discern for me is what I'm practicing... and I think my breakthrough tonight was that I'm not practicing anything... I'm just being with God in the way that it feels perfect to me. Just like skipping church on Sundays doesn't mean we are any less close to God, neither does feeling like a Yogini but only getting to practice 4x a week. Everyday practice would be nice, but its not likely to happen when I've chosen to entrust myself with two little souls who still can't care for themselves in this sometimes-difficult world. For so long what's been holding me back from really identifying myself with this practice is that I wasn't following the "rule" of a daily practice... and I've finally realized that its okay... it's where I'm at RIGHT NOW that matters... that my practice is so much more alive now through yoga that yoga happens whether I'm on a mat or in a bath or just watching my little kids ride a PONY for the first time in their lives (which was so amazing today... really ... think about the first time you rode a PONY... or petted a frog... or something really cool in its own right). So I think I'm done searching for a name... I mean, I have no idea what I'd categorize my family as in the little bubble (which by the way KILLED the San Diego mayoral race) on a population poll.. but really, it doesn't matter. We're all getting there, in our fashion...
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:21 PM | Comments (4)
Wife = Lady or Woman
About 6 or 7 months ago I bought of set of Sanskrit textbooks. I haven't had as much time as I'd like to devote to actually learning Sanskrit but I flip through them all the time and I know that after Nanny #3 starts that I will, hopefully, get some brain cells back and be able to concentrate a bit better. The textbooks have been valuable in attempting to figure out the meanings of words for me as I've noticed translations can be very different from one text to another.
Below you will see the beautiful drawing Neti did for me. If you had seen what I had sent him to start with ;) (bearing in mind, I can't draw a round circle to save my life), he did absolutely 100% what I wanted with this. The top of the lotus says Atma, bottom Yogini, right Matr and the left is supposed to say Stri but I haven't been able to figure out how to write it from the combinations in my textbooks. The Indian mom yesterday did write it out for me but I still can't figure out the combinations she used to get there (and since I can barely make straight lines, my atempt on the computer wasn't very grand)! My Sanskrit textbooks actually have two other words for wife: patni and bharya but I understand, I think, that these are actually Hindi words, not Sanskrit.
I love this artwork... I am still debating using color in it... I think I want to use that beautiful red/orangey color on the dots maybe and somehow incorporate it inside the piece. I'm so unartistic that I need some help in that arena ;)
One of the things I'd really like to start doing is taking some philosophy classes. A local studio is doing a Yoga Sutra workshop next weekend that I'd really like to take but I think I'm otherwise occupied one of the days. I need to find some more resources for things like that.
Off to practice...
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:24 AM | Comments (8)
November 19, 2004
Indian Yoga
Today I took my daughter to her ballet class and there was a new little girl in the class. The mother was clearly Indian, I noticed her accent at the beginning of class. I was wearing a short sleeved shirt so I knew, at some point, she would notice my Sanskrit and she did. She asked after it. I find it interesting that most Indian people are interested that I have it, don't recognize it as a verse from the Gita (of course, it isn't like a popular one or anything and probably doesn't mean much to a lot of people) and love to interpret the words for me. She then said "Oh you go to that place..that place in Encinitas?" So, me, I assumed she meant AYC and was like "Yes, I go there when I can." So we have this conversation... but it turns out she was talking about SRF (Self-Realization Fellowship).. I figured this out when she started talking about "how long did I stay at that place?" I said "Oh what place?" She described it and it dawned on me. So I told her that, no, I thought she meant the Ashtanga Center, that no, I don't do SRF. I've tried SRF but SRF just doesn't work for me... She said "Yea, we went and looked at it but they just make up all kinds of things and take stuff from wherever." Then we got on the subject of yoga and she was saying that she tried a yoga class at PAC and couldn't believe it because everyone was jumping around and that's not how yoga is done in India. She said that in India, you take your time in the postures and it is very meditative. She described the teacher to me so I knew it was one of the ashtanga classes. We got to talking about it... she and another lady who did Svaroopa yoga, apparently, were saying they don't understand the aerobic style of yoga... So, I chimed in that, for me, I need the power of ashtanga for meditation... that the practice of the series helps my mind remove itself from the situation and allows me to be with my breath and with my body. The Indian lady started talking about how, yes, that is how it would be in India. I said that it really discombobulates me when I have to stop and look to see what the teacher is going to do next and it is more mental than meditative in those types of classes. I explained that in Mysore classes you go at your own speed and so that slows things down, that led classes always go faster. By the end of the conversation, the Indian lady and myself were speaking on the same page about yoga... it was really nice. I wanted to talk to her more about how, for me, it IS very spiritual but I didn't get a chance to. She did write the Sanskrit word stri for me... which I've been having a hard time finding and now I know why... you drop a letter from it. Now to find someone who can write it for my tattoo. She also told me that matr is not how you say mother, that mother is an English word so you just transliterate it... but I could swear that matr is the Sanskrit word -- of course, I'm sure she knows better than I. I always worry when I meet an Indian person and they read my tattoo that it is offensive to them somehow. For me, its like this burning ring on my arm that reminds me to be conscious and mindful during all the moments of my days. If I focus my attention on it, I can feel a completely different type of energy in that band than anywhere else on my body... I find that fascinating.
My friend is having surgery about right now. Though I cannot be with her, I am right there in spirit.... As soon as I hit post, I'm going to chant to Tara and send as much white love light to her, right this moment. I hope you all will send all of your beautiful energy to a wonderful, amazing, beautiful ashtangi here in California...
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:10 PM | Comments (1)
November 18, 2004
Technically Not A Mysore Virgin
So, technically, I've done Mysore a few times. The first time I did Mysore, I had only been practicing about 6 months and I went to Yoga Works in Santa Monica. I went there because my brother-in-law and his family live in the Pallisades and we were spending Thanksgiving there. We drove 4 hours, dropped the kids and husband off in the driveway and raced to make the only class I could find... Mysore. The experience was humiliating and unpleasant. No one was nice, in fact, the instructor was downright rude and arrogant. I wonder if this first exposure has, in some ways, colored my fears of Mysore.
I've also been to Mysore twice, I think, at AYC... maybe just once but I think twice. Once when Tim was out of town so I felt more comfortable with Rich and once when Kiran roused me enough to get me there. So, while today was not officially my deflowering into Mysore classes, I was still aware that I am not a regular.
I had a lot of fun! I wasn't fearful... much. A couple times I felt like I was sticking out like a sore thumb but, for the most part, I just had a fairly decent practice. I really really liked that I was able to go at my own speed and what I learned was that I go a LOT slower on my own than I do in a led class... and, in so going slower, I breathe a lot better. On the other hand, I cheated twice, skipping the vinyasa between sides because I was tired. I tried to tell myself it was okay because I haven't been practicing due to the health issues and this is really only my second practice back since feeling normal again. I did, however, make sure that Tim was otherwise occupied (i.e., looking the other way) when I did it -- although I'm sure he noticed I was on the other side much more quickly than I should have been ;) Nothing spectacular about my practice... I did grasp my finger tips again in supta K but was unable to hold them there since it was a lot hotter in the room than yesterday and I had a lot of sweat going. No one was there to help me so I got my feet crossed and then just kept my fingers touching. I was able to get my feet back behind me (touching the ground) again after lifting legs straight but I still can't do bakasana. I was happy that in Mysore I didn't have to do the bakasana before warrior :) Tim adjusted me in hanumanasana... he always seems to come and adjust me in something I slack off on... in this pose my knee cap, with pressure from the floor on it, twists to the side and it hurts the ligament? underneath. In led classes I usually prepare by putting a towel down but then we also do prep poses... I didn't put a towel down, Tim came over to push my foot straight (which causes the knee to go flatter down and my thigh to turn in) and I was like "You know my knee moves in this pose." I think he thought I was insane. Then he said "Maybe you should put a towel down." I thought that was funny but he probably didn't get why I laughed.
After class myself and a couple other yoga friends took our friend with breast cancer out to brunch. I am so glad that I got to see her, hug her and hold her hand today as she has surgery tomorrow. I've tried really hard to not call or bug her... I know from familial experience that too many phone calls and emails can be upsetting because it doesn't give you a break from dealing with everyone else's emotions instead of just your own internal issues... but I was really glad to see her today... she's such an amazing strong person and I know that she is going to come out of this healthy and whole.
I paid for Maya Tulum today. HOORAY. I'm going! Now I just need to make flight reservations. JumpsthruSomeDay -- you guys still going? I'm rooming with two other girls that do yoga with me so that should be fun.
Nanny #3 came again today...she's fantastic. She starts for real on December 1. Mysore classes here I come!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:09 PM | Comments (2)
November 17, 2004
I GOT FINGERS!
This morning I went to M's Level 2/3 class only M was home sick (which is a double whammy bummer since M is also my part-time babysitter and the Nanny hasn't officially started yet). The sub was someone I had met just once prior but had seen here and there in the yoga community a few times. I had heard she was good so I was happy to stay. When we started she had us start sitting down which instantly got me worried... we did some cat poses at first then up to standing... a different way to start for me but it was okay. From there practice for me was pretty good.... I hadn't really practiced much so I was expecting tired. I was actually sufficiently strong and bendy and the nice thing was that, having never practiced with this instructor before, I got some really nice different adjustments than I normally get. Practicing with someone new gives you the ability to look at your practice differently... different adjustments, different emphasis on breath, etc. I spent a lot of my practice just really cultivating trying to breathe and sending the created prana to my friend with breast cancer. She is probably the single most dedicated yogi I know and I know that, even in small part, that effort gives her something. Most exciting for me was that the instructor was giving the class a sort of "modified kurmasana," since I was feeling sufficiently warmed up and the modified version didn't feel anywhere, I decided to just do the whole thing. I was surprised that my knees went closer to my shoulders than they normally do... the instructor adjusted me in it, chin on the floor and then after 5 breaths I instinctually began to reach back and then realized the rest of the class wasn't doing that..the instructor said "You wanna do supta since you're down there?" So, I continued to move my hands back and was quite surprised when I actually grabbed my own fingers... not just touched, I actually managed to clasp the top of my fingers on my own. The instructor helped me get my feet in and crossed and I was even able to hold Titibasana on the way out. I've managed to even make some progress there... able to feel my bandha's somewhat and lift my hips to get my knees back on my elbows on the way out... unfortunately, I still can't do bakasana so I can't take it any further than that but I do get my hips up enough to get my knees back enough that I, if I could, I could lift up my feet. Someday....
The pain in the hamstring appears to be gone. The pain in the hip is still here... it is slightly less demanding of attention but there nonetheless. I think, total pet theory, that this might be an extension of the pain I have been experiencing for so long in Mari C. Mari C was good today... I could bind easily... but I definitely was wincing through half of it. The pain in Mari C is deeper than the ache I've had but I'm wondering if the ache is a remnanent of whatever is causing the pain in Mari C.
The nanny I hired on Monday (who was not Nanny #2, she is Nanny #3) came yesterday... she's awesome and we all really liked her. I drove with her to take The Daughter to gymnastics and, aside from the Bush/Cheney sticker on her car, she did great.... so great that I trusted her ot take The Daughter to school without me. She's going on vacation Friday for a week but she agreed to come over on Thursday so that I can go to Mysore on Thursday morning. The way we've worked out the schedule, I should be able to go to Mysore two days a week when she actually starts permanently. I'm a little fearful of Mysore and I don't know why. I mean, I've done it before. I actually know a few people who regularly do Mysore. I've practiced with Tim but, for some reason, I'm just really freaked at the idea. I haven't been able to figure out what it is that is freaking me out though.
I am making an appointment for new ink on December 14th along with MalContent, my best friend, and my other best friend, LargeWarmHand. I am so excited... Neti made me the most beautiful drawing and I just have to fine tune it maybe with color, I don't know. I sent it to the tattoo artist this afternoon and I can't wait to see what he says.
Update to this post: I forgot to mention... a) that I'm completely caffeine free again - I haven't even been drinking chai. I feel really good about it; b) I really really need to go back to no dairy... I was off it for about a week and had some yesterday, MAN can I feel a difference; and c) today after yoga I hear a girl ask the instructor about twisting triangle and she says "Well, I've been doing this for awhile and I still can't _____" and the instructor says "oh how long have you been practicing" and the girl says "two months" and I smiled inwardly to remember being there and thinking it would all come so fast and the slow realization to how deep this practice is and how much it can give you if you go slowly and practice.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 1:01 PM | Comments (4)
November 14, 2004
Candlelight
This weekend was the monthly Indian Guides trip for The Husband and The Son. For me, this equals pizza and a movie with my little girl. Not wanting dairy, we picked up pepperoni (ew but she's convinced she likes it), pizza crust, almond cheese and some Rice Dream bars along with Barbie's (ew icon again) Princess & The Pauper. Moreoever, it meant I had no parent to watch The Daughter for yoga this weekend. :( I was sad. Today we drove by AYC and I saw my friends on the corner... I missed them.
The pain in my hip is getting worse. The hamstring seems to be feeling okay unless I put stress on it but I'm confident I can get that worked out. The pain in my hip, however, is not budging and has caused me to reach for a bottle of Motrin twice now. I'm not sure what it is but it is seriously deep in my hip and not leaving.
This week I heard that a beautiful, amazing, inspiring person I know was diagnosed with breast cancer. I know she's devastated and I am for her. The wierdest thing is that this has hit me very hard. Every single woman in my family has had or has breast cancer excepting my sister and I. In fact, two of my aunts are undergoing traditional treatment right now. I'm getting fairly adjusted to the phone calls informing me that cancer has been found but, for some reason, this time it has really taken me to a place I have never been with any of those other phone calls. Maybe it is because my friend and I have the common passion of yoga, young kids, life here in Southern California, more close in age than my relatives. I don't know. I have been thrown for a loop though that has left me on the edge of or in tears many times in the past few days. I am spending a lot of time trying to harness my energy and my thoughts and send them to her and her family. I know she may read this... and, if you are, I am here for you for anything. I know you know that.
Tonight we put the kids in front of the television... I used my Indian food cookbook and made a lamb something or other, put out the nice placemats and napkins, candle and some wine on our official dining room table and had a nice sit-down dinner with my husband. Too often we forget each other in the haze of family life.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 7:11 PM | Comments (1)
November 12, 2004
My Mat Missed Me
Ah... it might not have been the best day to get back to the mat but for the first time in a long time I actually felt healthy... mostly. I woke up this morning feeling quite normal in my head but I had this persistent aching in my hips and lower back. I figured it was probably due to one of the wierd contortions I often end up in when sleeping... my 3 year old gets the pick of the bed in my sleep. It didn't go away though and I was suffering sitting to work. My next theory was that I just hadn't stretched in so long that my body was rebeling. I had planned on AYC until I figured out it was New Moon which left me with tonight's first series class. I was doing pretty good until that first forward bend and then, whoa, back up, my body was so tight and stiff I just wanted to groan. My teacher came over and laid over me in an effort to help me through it. It helped. Once I got back into it a bit the distinct feeling of running for the door left me but the pull in my hamstrings stayed with me. Navasana was excruciating... Surprisingly I actually touched my own hands, not just a slight touch but actually touching and could keep them touching in Supta Kurmasana. Backbends were grueling... my back felt okay but my strength waned and my arms were not too strong. Somewhere in there I pulled where my right hamstring meets my gluteus maximus :) It is hurting like hell.
I have decided to give Nanny #2 a try. She is coming next week. I have worked out a schedule that, if it succeeds, I can do Mysore T/TH provided Tim will allow me to leave by 10:30ish/10:45 maximum latest until mid-next year (i.e., push it into an hour and a half). This might be the opportunity to have him stop me where I should be stopped in first series and learn pose by pose. I have no idea where I should be stopped actually. Probably Navasana :) I am very nervous about someone driving my daughter around though.. how do you get past this? I think I'm going to have to go with her a few times.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 7:51 PM | Comments (3)
November 11, 2004
Take It Easy
So I'm actually feeling a bit better today. My head is still pounding like you wouldn't believe but the rest of me feels a bit better. Practice is going to be a bear to get back into physically... mentally I simply can't wait. I am trying, however, not to rush back to exertion... I need my health. I'm going to see if I feel good tomorrow and, if so, hit the first series class... if not tomorrow, perhaps Saturday will bring me time on the mat. I'm going to try very hard to be mindful of my physical not mental health here and wait until I feel good.
On the good news front, I interviewed another potential nanny today. The first thing she said when she walked in my house was "You do yoga?" I said yes and she explained that she grew up with a mother who teaches yoga. I asked her what type... she said mostly ashtanga :) Apparently her mother teaches yoga on the Big Island. She continued to prove her fit for my family by telling me that she was born at home, breastfed for years, is majoring in children's nutrition and does both gymnastics (used to coach kids apparently) and ballet. So the only thing I'm trying to get to is that her personality wasn't as "bubbly" as some others I've met and her schedule isn't the best overall fit but would work. My theory is that she is young and coming into a family's home for the first time she probably felt a bit awkward, I would have at that age. I'm debating whether I should just go for it or hold out. I have a couple other people who want to talk to me about it so we'll see. If I use this girl, there is the potential for T/TH Mysore as she will be here all day on those days.... mhmmmm.... I realize this was supposed to help me get my work done but, hey, I can try to make it work all around, can't I?
I am making an appointment this week for my next ink. I am totally excited and even MORE excited because Neti helped me out with the drawing of my idea and its absolutely beautiful. He's amazing. My two best friends (wave to D) are coming with me and getting their own ink and I can't wait. It's going to be such a fun day!
In even more exciting news, I have a check ready for the Ashtanga Center for teacher training in January... yes, friends, there is no stopping this event. I'm going to pay and its non-refundable in a couple weeks. HOORAY!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 9:12 PM | Comments (1)
November 10, 2004
And The Days Go By
Woke up yesterday just completely 50 paces behind health-wise. Whatever I had lightly the week before came back with a force much more massive than the first time. I spent the evening wondering if I have some deeply massive immune system deficiency but I realize I'm just sick, overly stressed and a little on the blue side of life. It will improve. Then I got Kiran's email about my friends getting up from backbends last night in class and I thought "FUCK A DUCK (sorry for the language) THIS SUCKS!" I know that my practice will be there for me when I get back but just from that one practice last Sunday my hamstrings are clenching up every time I stand up and walk, my arms feel like I lifted a building... imagine how much tougher it is going to be when I actually can get back to a regular practice.
I was all excited because I found out the doctor who wrote that book Viral Immunity actually practices here in Encinitas but his website doesn't list a phone number and every which way I've tried has basically failed -- he must have bailed town.
On the good news front, this morning I interviewed a potential part-time helper and she was awesome.... I would have hired her on the spot except that she is a microbiologist who was laid off from regular employment and wants to nanny until she finds a job again. She indicated that this might be awhile, my best friend has told me that the bio-tech industry here in SD is hurting... So, I'll do the right thing and wait until after the interview I have with another girl tomorrow and see if she's better. She's younger and didn't sound as great on the phone as the girl I met with this morning. I think once I get some help life will get back to normal. I'll have a schedule I can work with and I can get my work done in a timely fashion.... perhaps my husband and I might actually see each other again sometime too. IMAGINE!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 1:22 PM | Comments (3)
November 8, 2004
Hell Week
Where have I been... Last week was spent in a haze of sickness... finally better life overtook me with birthday parties, soccer games, etc. I made it to a practice on Sunday... first one in two weeks I believe. I knew I needed to hold back a bit or feel it today (I am) but I did make it through the full first series. I don't lose my flexibility anymore but I lose every single ounce of strength and stamina I may have built up. I figured I was back on the horse again.... until I woke up this morning with a drastic recurrence of whatever virus has invaded my body. I'm weak, sick and feeling sicker by the minute. This leads me to believe my thyroid is wacked again. What I wouldn't give to not have to deal with this all the time... I hate it. I would give up asana, walk around the world, eat a frog if I could just have a normal functioning thyroid. My insurance is all screwed up at the moment as well so I will probably have to wait until January to get any real test results when I will finally be with a PPO again and can see my doctor (who doesn't have a 3 month waiting list, will order all the tests and believes me when I say that I don't feel right). In the meantime, I have to do something about my immunity.
I picked up this very cool book (attn AlternaMoms (ooo bad word I know), you should really get this book...awesome), Viral Immunity, A 10-Step Plan to Enhance Your Immunity Against Viral Disease Using Natural Medicines, by J.E. Williams, OMD. The book itself is just fascinating as it talks about viruses and how they work and what happens to our bodies. He discusses Oriental and Aruyvedic medicines as well as herbs and homeopathy. He has a detox plan and a immune boosting plan... I'm only a bit into the book but I am hopeful I can do a cleanse and this boosting system as soon as I'm feeling a bit more healthy. I would still really like to find an Ayruvedic doctor here in San Diego and, on a positive note, I did get a normal result on my well woman visit (although, apparently, the visual inspection yielded *something* which could be nothing so I have to be rechecked in 3 months).
I am still on the market to find part-time help. So far, nothing has come through :( I have a feeling, based on The Husband's in-office requirements so far, that until I have help, I'm basically just screwed. So pass the chocolate, it might be a long winter.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 6:35 PM | Comments (3)
November 1, 2004
Vote Your Voice
Tomorrow is a big day. I've been very nervous about this election for awhile. I might be a bit of a conspiracy theory believer but I believe, with all my heart, if Bush wins this election our country is going to be, well, going to hell in a handbasket. I don't think Kerry is the perfect choice. No, I think our country needs an upheaval in the entire political system... but I can't imagine another four years with Bush in office. So please vote. I don't care who you vote for (well, I'd love to push you to vote for Kerry) but I believe we have to show that we ALL care and we all will use our voice.
Yesterday I rebounded for Samhain -- I made individual curry pot pies with cute little bats or pumpkins on the top for our families. I went trick or treating with the kids and then proceeded to hit the "I was never really well" wall. I took Nyquil (or whatever the stuff is that The Husband gave me) and slept for 10 hours!!!!!! It didn't help... I still feel like crap today but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. The cosmos only knows when I'll actually be able to practice again. One of my pet peeves is when people lay their mat next to mine and proceed to cough and sniffle and share their germs (I own up to being a germaphobe) and I certainly don't want to share mine with anyone. If tomorrow doesn't look drastically brighter by 9am, I think I'll do some light asanas here and then try to catch up with work (hahahaha).
I almost forgot to mention that I got a chart of my houses in Vedic astrology and I was absolutely STUNNED with a couple of the things that it said. They were SO DEAD ON and SO COMPLETELY about some of the issues, well, in particular one big issue, that I've been dealing with lately. Fascinating. I couldn't understanding 9/10ths of the chart but I figured out my rising/sun/moon signs and could see which planets were in them. The book I have talks about each house and what the planets mean. At some point, it would be fun to get a real reading because I couldn't believe how many of the parts I read related to this big issue I've had in my life.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 7:04 PM | Comments (5)