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June 30, 2004
Heat heat I love heat
Tonight I drove down to Prana-Yoga to take Kiran's first series class. Since this is going the opposite direction of traffic, I got there in 15 minutes unlike the 40 it takes to get to The Ashtanga Center at that time of day. I'm glad I went... not only did I see an old friend driving down the street but I had a great practice. I think it's the heat. I told Kiran after that I felt like I had some semblance of proficiency tonight... I felt strong and bendy and balanced all at the same time... I even had one single jump through that was absolutely silent. Since we stuck to the series I got to do Garbha Pindasana, a pose often left out of prep classes. It's funny because ever teacher and student I've ever talked to about this asana tells me they must either be very sweaty or bring water... and I can't do this as well when I am sweaty than when I'm totally not. It's like the sweat on my arms gets stuck on my pants and I have to struggle to get my arms through all the way whereas, without sweat, they glide right through to the elbows without struggle. I also seem to have lost whatever edge I had with backbends. I have no ability to even sense getting up on my own now. For awhile I could actually feel it but I think I've regressed. Most promising tonight was the fact that I actually held bakasana for like a split second. Why bakasana is the bane of my existence, I don't know... it's not strength or balance...it's almost like my legs slip off my arms (yes, I realize they should be straight eventually) and it feels like bone against bone...
The other day I was sitting cross legged with the heels of my hands together, elbows turned out and I started wondering why there are so little arm bendies in the practice. By bendies I mean Janu C, for example... moving the ankles in ways most people would not. When I mentioned it to Kiran tonight she told me second series has some... I love that feeling and I'll be interested to see what the postures are when and if I ever get there.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 10:41 PM | Comments (4)
June 29, 2004
Yoga Family
I hope with all my heart that at least one of my kids picks up the yoga spirit from me. My son, I don't think he's got the right type of kid-energy for it but my daughter, she's right there... My husband took this picture when she and I were practicing our yoga in the yard tonight... she takes yoga once a week at our club and loves it. I think she spends more time on her head now than on her feet! She's constantly asking me "Mama do headstand" or "Mama do backbend" or "Mama look what I can do" as she effortlessly does some bendy thing.
(backbends = hard when no warmup)
No yoga tonight, moon holiday for me. Instead I'm trying to learn the best way to load XML data into Word documents... now that sounds fun, doesn't it? Still working on Ashtangi.NET but I have to slow down a bit and get some real work done... such a shame :)
I had some practice thoughts but have to take care of dinner.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 6:44 PM | Comments (3)
June 27, 2004
Yoga Lasts Longer
I love the Olympics. I love the energy I imagine must be in the room on a night like the US Olympic Gymnastic Trials. I might be a bit more overzealous with my imagination during the swimming and gymnastics trials -- swimming because I know that ambition and swam competitively for a long time and gymnastics because I think the strength/flexibility combo is a lot like ashtanga. Those people have dedicated their lives and many of them haven't even lived half their life yet. I feel the same way about yoga... I just think the yoga Olympics are at the end of the road to yourself which is really, when you think on it, a self-made ending point... practice and all is coming.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:54 PM
Not In The Cards
Since I didn't get to do yoga on Friday or Saturday which is odd for me, I was determined to make a class today. Knowing that teacher training was going on at the Ashtanga Center (and not wanting to deal with the crowds), I decided to try Dennis Dean's place in Oceanside which is right down the street from my father-in-law's house. This would be a nice trial for me and if I liked it give me another place that I would have babysitting available for.... When I woke up this morning I felt my moon coming and it started right before I was going to leave. I decided to try it anyway.... only to get all the way up there and the studio is closed down, gone... nothing. I guess it serves me right for not having called first and just assuming since a website exists, a place exists. I guess it was meant to be because my moon is doing its usuall first day = hell thing now.
Ashtangi.NET is coming along though I am still working out the kinks with how often feeds are checked, how to hack the software I bought to manage all this to get it to do what I want and how I want it done. It's been nice to get emails from interested people...KEEP THEM COMING.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 11:15 AM | Comments (1)
June 26, 2004
Mysore... We have lift off.
I apologize deeply for the confusion yesterday -- especially to anybody subscribing to my feed. I had an expectation of how the Ashtangi.NET software was going to work but it didn't work that way and I had to do some custom hacks with the support of the Xliga to get it to work correctly. Finally, that appears to be the case at least with my initial tests. We'll have to see what happens as we add new bloggers.
Which brings me to -- thank you for your interest most especially to those of you who offered to help me out as well. I am grateful. Now, facing inward, returns to it's regularly schedule ramblings and incoherent thoughts about whatever comes my way.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 11:46 AM
June 24, 2004
It's Not Really A Waste, Right?
Okay, so I spent way more time today doing Ashtangi.NET than perhaps I should have but, you know what, I kinda like the design I finally created. I haven't worked out all the little bugs and I haven't even uploaded all the software I purchased like the Image Gallery & Manager but as you can tell from the new page, I do have the "latest blog feeds" being fed to the main page. I have two going now and I will, hopefully, get Mysore blog side bar going too. Tomorrow's task: Get the blog list fully functioning so that you can click on it and see all the blogs in the site. A cool thing would be to ask all blog owners to submit a picture. They do this at OfficeZealot and I really like being able to see people. I could make it optional too.
I did manage to make it to yoga tonight... so never fear this blog entry will have something about actual mat practice in it. Kiran was teaching an improv class. I was surprised to see OKGR (who should really move to Ashtangi.NET) there and when asked what we wanted to do tonight, I remembered his post about "poses from the first 4 series" and asked for that. Kiran did Surya Namaskara C again tonight. I wasn't as messed up as last time but I still found it incredibly disconcerting to be doing postures facing a different direction or in a different order than is standard. It amazes me just how fluid the practice is and how "used" to it we get. One thing I've figured out lately is that if I attempt to cross my legs in the jump through, I can actually land a bit quieter (read not as loud as normal). I can't quite wrap my brain around just how one crosses their legs during the jump through, I just sorta think it and it seems to happen at my ankles. In doing so, I appear to get a bit higher and have a little more strength coming down (or, maybe it's all the bath practices ;->). So, we did Hanumanasna (3rd?)... we Did Mari E & F (fun fun fun fun fun - 4th?) and we did a bunch of second series backbends. I attempted Kaptoanasana at the urging of my the woman on the mat next to me (who noticeably didn't attempt it herself) but I'm far from it. I find backbending difficult at the health club -- the room isn't hot enough and I generally feel like a bit heavy lump of clay in them.
Something strange did happen at the end of class. To make a long story short, I was helping Kiran at the end just getting people up from savasana (you know "Wiggle your feet and toes, roll to your right, up to seated position..Namaste") and after a girl sitting where I was leaned over and said "You should teach, you have a really beautiful voice for it." I almost guffawed right there but, in an attempt to truly be yoga, I actually processed it. So why would this be a thought process at all... well, all my life I've detested my voice. I can't begin to tell you the number of people who have told me my adult voice sounds like a child or when I hear my voice on a voice recorder like an answering machine I think "Holy cow who IS that person..that can't be MY voice." I can honestly say that was the first time in my whole life I can ever remember someone saying something complimentary about my voice. Pause...food for thought.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 9:27 PM
First Post New Digs
Well, though not fully functioning Ashtangi.NET is up and my blog is fully functioning on it. I am ready to move blogs as people decide to join so email me if you want one at blog@ashtangi.net. The blog will be hosted on MovableType on my server with your own control panel login, comes with comments and is RSS compatible out of the box. I won't promise my time to create templates, the standard templates have some color schemes and there are lots of free template resources out there (including a couple yoga ones!).
Once there are a few RSS compatible blogs on the site, I will redo the front page to have the latest one or two or more blog entires and has the site grows, the index page will grow to accommodate content giving you a one stop shopping place. All in good time (though this is supposed to be an extra-curricular, I've wasted a bunch of time on it!).
The only other question becomes... how to determine who fits in here at Ashtangi.NET. Alan Little commented that he talks about more than yoga... me too. I certainly don't want to limit blogs that talk about other things.. my blog has been going for longer than I've even been doing yoga. I do, however, feel strongly that blogs that fit in here, are blogs discussing yoga sometimes and that that yoga should be, in the very least, primarily Ashtanga yoga.
The rest of the site will build itself (with your help?). I'd love to get a photo gallery going.. I bought some software to easily do this but haven't implemented it yet.
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So for my first posting...
I had the wierdest dream this morning... I was going to Mysore. On the way my friend (and I'm not quite clear who the friend with me was) and I took a detour somewhere and I was assaulted. In dealing with the police, I realized that I had some marijuana on me (?) and I was worried so I flushed it down the toilet and then ran. When we got to Mysore, we hired a guide to get us to the shala...but he got us lost and we were getting scared. When we finally found someone to help us, they told us we had to walk 6 or 7 miles... we felt deflated and I thought to myself "This is probably nothing to someone living here, why am I being a baby?" So we walked.. and, you know how in dreams it can happen... we were miracuously there. There was a big table outside with people checking people in. Inside was a group of people milling about (clearly a bigger scenario than the real thing). When I gave the man outside my name he asked me if I was doing second series. I replied that I was not and he looked shocked and asked what I as doing there then and could at least do first series somewhat. I said that I thought I was pretty proficient at first series (I'm in a DREAM remember!) but that I battle strength so I struggle with strength poses (very true!). He smirked again and acted incredulous that would come. I only remember vaguely the rest... I'm not much of a dream interpreter but I can pretty readily surmise my own fears coming out there.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:58 AM | Comments (1)
June 20, 2004
Apple A Day
I truly never thought I'd see the day.... but I'm returning the iRiver iHP-120 and I purchased a slightly used 3G iPod 30Gig today... I also found a half price code for Belkin and purchased the battery pack which allows you to use regular batteries for the iPod giving you 10 more hours or so of battery life (ok and I also got the FM Transmitter and stero connector since it was half price). Now, an iSkin EVO -- I'm thinking the nice Lava color -- and I'll be all set. OMG I have a MacIntosh product!
Posted by ashtangagirl at 10:35 PM | Comments (4)
June 19, 2004
Walking The Rope
To tell you the truth, the hardest thing to reintegrate into my life since coming back from my trip is feeding myself 3 times a day. I guess I didn't realize just how easily I would and could fall into the luxury of having someone else prepare all my meals and simply place them in front of me. I normally love to cook but, sadly, between working and parenting and trying to fit in yoga a few times a week at least, well, I never have time. Writing that last sentence was actually hard for me... "trying to fit in yoga a few times a week." I want to be one of those people that has a daily Mysore practice, that is progressing and learning and evolving. I know a big part of the trees on my path right now is seeing that the leaves here on the journey to get there are just as pretty... but I find myself impatient. I often feel like a yoga poser. When you read sentences about whether yoga is just some fast moving trend galloping itself around suburban America -- I wonder "Could that be me?" or "Do people think that's my deal?" Truth is my motto and so I must say that I've been searching for my spiritual footing for a long time now ... for many, many reasons, some known to those long-time readers, some known only to close friends (waves hello to them), some known only to myself, nothing has ever felt right, stirred my soul to awaken or felt like comfortable skin. Yoga is my thing. It isn't that yoga is my thing as a physical practice (though, while I'm telling the truth I will mention that a careful analysis of my practice and mental state I am still bound to the physical accomplishment more than I probably should be... I *want* to practice diligently enough to some day do second series... I *want* to find what lays beyond first series)... yoga is very much my spiritual master. It is much like what my kids represent... a way to tame the mind, to conquer myself, to get to the root but it's solely under my control as opposed to the whims and explosions of a 6 or 3 year old.
I was in the airport in Toronto flying home from Canada and I had on a Yoga, Tribe & Culture shirt I had picked up at YogaSwami when I went to get my Manduka mat right before I left. The shirt was just tank but had a lotus and said Satya on it. I liked it because it was a tank and I always vascilate between hot and cold while traveling.. While coming through the security checkpoint, I was waiting for my bag and the security gentleman was clearly Indian... he kept looking at me... finally he said "Where you get that shirt? You go to India?" I said that I had got it at a yoga store and he asked me what was in my bag (my Prana mat bag) and I said "My yoga mat." and he said "Oh you yoga guru." and I said "No, no, no guru, I just do yoga... and I hope one day to go to Indian and study with the guru." He sorta looked at me with kindness but I couldn't tell necessarily if he was smirking or smiling in fondness. It left me with the distinct impression that I was stealing someone's culture... and I guess I am and for some reason that feels almost like I am that yoga poser.
I keep telling myself that there is another level... that level comes with the mastery of the practice and I'm just on the journey... on the path that with it comes understanding. I am not a poser... just struggling to get where so many others have gone and are and will be.
Friday night I did yoga with the wonderful Kiran. Though I cannot spare the time it takes to do yoga everyday with Guruji or Tim Miller, I am so fortunate to have teachers who are devoted to Tim Miller to learn from. And, for whatever reason, my body seems to like Fridays way better than Thursdays ;-) I can always tell when my back is shrunken and brittle when backbends do me in.. When just one feels like my back is a tree branch that isn't supposed to bend like that. If that's how my backbends feel then I can almost certainly guarantee you that halasana and karnapindasana will be harmonious with sharp stabbing pains in my upper back from where my car accident mangled me, my knees won't come down to my ears all the way which is normally no effort whatsoever for me. So it was strange that while my backbends were excruciating Friday night, halasana, etc. was not a big deal. Something opening and changing.
So though I don't get to yoga as much as I would like (but I know it will happen..I just need to stay on this rope and find it) I do find ways to "practice." Tonight I took a very hot bath, put on Krishna Das and played with bandhas. The bath really helps me to feel them, to get it, to figure out how to play with lightnesses through them... let it go a little, sink a little... bring it up, float (lightness). I practiced the feeling it would require to land my jump throughs quietly instead of the thud you hear from me now. It's an amazing feeling to get that and then first just try to breathe ujayi breathing through it... and keep it... and move in it. It's that vicinity for which I reach... the flexibility is the easy part for me.. the strength takes all that I am.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 8:56 PM | Comments (3)
June 16, 2004
iPod vs. iRiver
Oh and back to technology for a second... I loved loved loved having the iPod but I have to say that the battery life BLOWS on that thing. Halfway through my day yesterday the battery was nearly gone :( So this morning I ordered the iRiver.... I'm hopeful that the experience with it will be good... I'll be sure to report on it here.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:29 PM | Comments (3)
Elemental Embrace
Though I arrived in Toronto a couple hours later, all worked out. I met Lucia in the airport, rented the car and we took off for the spa. We drove for awhile both remarking that, for some reason, we thought Canada would look, well, like Canada and not like America. Truly there wasn't a whole lot of differences -- Shell stations, McDonalds, IKEA, etc. After driving awhile we got more to the "country" and things were very spacious and green. We exited the freeway in Brighton and became just a bit jittery that the structures were not all that beautiful and we were definitely in the middle of nowhere. We arrived at the spa, were warmly greeted, had our the tour and dinner. We hadn't made time to go to the liquor store but we made enough fuss ;) that the owner's gave us a bottle of their own wine (we were very happy). Our rooms were nice. My basic summation of this place is that it is smaller than the pictures make it out to be and about 3/4 as nice as those same pictures make it appear...but very nice nonetheless.
Day 2 started out with me getting up for the 7:30 yoga class. I had asked the staff here repeatedly what "type" of yoga would be done and they had told me multiple times that it was ashtanga based.... doubtful, I got up early and went and started my own practice at 7am with Surya Namaskara A & Bs... a couple postures into standing the class started arriving. The yoga we did was probably closest to Savroopa yoga (and if any of you have been reading for years, you'll know my last experience with that type of yoga left me liking it not). I had made an oath with myself that I can learn from all types of yoga and that I would. I can't say that I enjoyed it, as one of the other guests said to me later in the day "that class was simply way too easy for you, wasn't it?" It was. I did enjoy the stretching though there was actually very little of it. Following that we did breakfast then off for our first spa treatments. I had a very nice head, shoulder, neck massage and, after, went back to the yoga room and did the rest of a "prep" practice -- Standing postures, through to Navasana then finishing. Practice is MUCH harder after having had spa treatments... body like jello, mind like mush. After this I had an Aryuvedic consultation with a doctor. It was very interesting. Whenver I take those "type tests" I always score basically even between Vatta & Kapha and, as a result, have never known what to consider myself -- fairly sure I was more Vatta than Kapha but didn't see the fire anywhere. The consultation started with some questions then he asked to take my pulse... and he said an amazing thing as he held my arm. He said "Do you anger easily?" Yes, yes...I do! "Do you express that anger within your family but restrain with strangers?" Yes, Why yes! So he charted out my types... I am mostly Vatta with Kapha coming up right behind... but, surprising to me, he said that my fire is also there and that it comes out in some very apparent ways in my personality (apparent to me). Once he mentioned some things I clearly understood. He told me I should never eat raw vegetables (which explains why I didn't last on a raw diet). He told me I could eat raw spinach or lettuce but all other vegetables should be cooked. He said I should be eating cheese and I explained that when I do eat cheese, I often find it difficult to do downward dog, that I get this wierd feeling in my throat. He explained that this is actually detoxification -- that as long as it isn't in my nose, I should consider it good -- news to me. He also mentioned meat and said that my body needs meat, that all meat is good for me but I should only boil or bake it :( He mentioned spices..cardamon being an important spice for me. It was all very interesting and I noticed that he was writing all of this down in Sanskrit so I said "What language are you writing?" He says "Sanskrit" and points to my necklace (which says abhaya in Sanskrit on it). He says "I wonder why you wear that?" I said that I wear it as a mindfulness tool -- to remind myself that fear can hold me back and that I wish to be more fearless. He told me then something really interesting. He said that abhaya has two meanings... one is fearlessness... the other is to be free in the mind. I said "Well, if you can be fearless then you would be free so that makes sense." He said that he doesn't believe fear is an underlying emotion in anger -- but that there are three basic emotions -- fear, sorrow and worry. He also told me that abhaya is a very common name in India. I like it. After the consultation I tried to find the liquor store in town. Some other girls here told me that the liquor store name was only initials... first I got lost (this town has maybe one street and 10 stores altogether..very small), finally found a bank machine, went to the wrong store first but finally found LCBO (which I now know stands for Liquor Control Board of Ontario) and bought some wine... it was Lucia's birthday so I wanted to make sure we had some wine for dinner. Speaking of, the food here has been wonderful. Surprisingly un-spa like. Meat, fish, dairy.... there is another guest here on a cleanse, she doesn't eat this and they make special Indian looking dishes for her. I'd like to try that sometime. My last treatment of the day was my favorite, Shirodhara. They do theirs a bit different here than I'd ever had before... It began with a synchronized massage by the two Aryuvedic doctors -- and I was nude.. a first for me and a bit to get used to but I had to keep in mind that these were doctors, not just massage therapists. Then the oil drip -- in the past this has always been a straight drip on the third eye but they do theirs more as a constant stream across and back your forehead. I'm not sure if I liked it better -- they have you on a wooden "bed" with no blankets so it was much more uncomfortable than I've had in the past.
Day two started with sleeping in -- probably the first night I've actually slept through the night in years (I can't take credit though, I had the help of Tylenol sleep something or other and some wine). We had breakfast then I had a lympatic draineage treatment which was very very nice. They sorta massage your lymph nodes into two central locations... I was nearly asleep by the end. Lucia and I did some yoga together after... she has a great backbend though she claims to not be able to get into it often. She has that nice curve in her back that I will never have and lust after ;) She also has a beautiful halasana... I would say textbook perfect. She tried my Luminaire chamy and liked it so I gave it to her...because I hate it. Lucia left for home shortly thereafter and I had my traditional Indian head massage which was heaven. I think I am going to have to teach The Husband how to do it... even the hair pulling rocked. I loved it.
The surroundings of this place are nice...very wooded, it's a beautiful day and I went for a short hike on their grounds... dark woods, like woods... a bit of water in there. I enjoyed it. I took the iPod with me and am now even more convinced that I will be getting a player very very soon.. I love that thing. There is nothing to do here except relax... a good thing for me.
My last night activities included an Aruyvedic lecture by one of the doctors. It was profoundly interesting and cool to be able to ask lots of questions. One of the most interesting things we talked about were vaccines. He was saying how he is very much a believer in the polio vax and has seen it's miracle but, on the other hand, talked about how he had never seen cases of M M or R in India until after the vaccine started being given out... interesting. I also got to ask questions about meat-eating and Ahimsa and different herbal treatments... as well as about fighting what is apparently inherent in your type (such as anger for me -- Lucia this was prompted by our discussion after the consult... I'll email you what he said).
My final day started with a crappy yoga practice... I think the time change finally caught up to me... it was nearly painful... followed by a nice facial (which I normally hate but the Indian version is very nice). The chef had promised me a traditional Indian feast for lunch and he came through... it was incredible. A dal, mung beans, green bean dish, masala shrimp, curried cabbage... filled I left for the airport and things went good until the flight became so bumpy the captain had the flight attendants sit. Those of you that know me know that I HATE to fly.. HATE HATE HATE so this was not pleasant for me. We ended up diverting around weather and adding 45 minutes onto our flight...which, in turn, caused me to miss my connection to San Diego. Long story short, with a lot of running and cursing, I actually made the last flight to SD for the night right as they were closing the gate (no really)... and my bag even managed to make it with me. I got home very late... took the kids to Legoland today and am just now figuring out my computer (i.e., work) life...
Namaste.. more blogging later.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 2:27 PM | Comments (3)
June 12, 2004
I'm Blogging This
Wearing my new "I'm Blogging This" shirt today... I get a lot of looks mostly of confusion, I think. Today is the day that I embarked on my trip to Elemental Embrace in Canada with Lucia. My flight was scheduled to leave at 6:19am... and it did... without me. Last night I packed and got ready and before bed asked The Husband to set the alarm for 4am. In the normal daily life of my household I would have double checked the alarm. In fact, I almost did but the last time I had him set the alarm there were no problems so I didn't.... and I should have. I woke up at 3am but figured I should take the extra hour of sleep... I next woke up at 6:07! I woke up and screaming "Oh my God, I've missed my flight!" Daughter asleep next to me, wakes up with a start, The Husband looks and freaks out along with me. I begin to cry... The Husband says to calm down (Yea, dude, easy for you to say... you haven't just missed your flight). We call the airline and truly a miracle happened. You see I'm flying on frequent flier miles (which miles I have been saving for 7 years - no joke - for this trip) and they never have seats available last minute... but a miracle occured and they had a flight leaving two hours later... and here I am on that flight (well, at least writing on the flight.. I'll upload in Chicago). Poor Lucia will have to sit in the airport waiting for me for a couple hours but I'll be there.
I borrowed my neighbor's iPod for the trip...I am now officially hooked on digital music. I want one... but I'm just not sure about the iPod vs. the iRiver. iPod plays only MP3s, iRiver plays both WMA and MP3. I have a lot of WMA but I can always convert them to MP3. You know the biggest complaint I have about the iPod... how the hell do you turn the thing off!?!?!?! Yes, I realize you just let it sit but it turns on magically while in my bag and takes forever to turn off...waste of battery!
uploaded from Chicago O'Hare International
Posted by ashtangagirl at 12:09 PM | Comments (2)
June 9, 2004
It's Been Awhile
Saturday a bunch of ashtangis got together for dinner and a private viewing of Ashtanga, NY. I bought the DVD a couple weeks ago and brought it over so we could all see it. I really liked it and, to be honest, I'm quite amazed at the practices of William Dafoe and Gwyneth Paltrow. As for myself, I haven't practiced since last time... I got sick on Sunday morning and since I'm leaving Saturday for my retreat in Canada I decided not to chance... been taking ZiCam, downing Chinese herbs and wheatgrass and basically "resting" from yoga ever since. I think I will attempt practice tonight as I'm feeling better and I certainly don't want to go to Canada tight as an bow.
That said, this week I got hit with some nasty adware/spyware thing and it's had my computer down all week so I have had no time to work on "Ashtangi" blog.... I will... I will....... it gets better the more I think on it.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 5:18 PM | Comments (1)
June 3, 2004
It's That Thursday Thing
See, what'd I tell ya... have a good strong practice after being gone for a week and the next day I'm just a big mess. I was feeling so weak tonight that I even chose to skip having Kiran assist me up from a backbend and I love that feeling. Where yesterday I was doing so great in my chaturungas, staying away from having my arms to close, feeling really strong in that little tiny hold down there.. tonight I could barely get my arms where they should have been. Weak, heavy... and my mind was just gone... I wasn't having problems with my dirshti, wasn't looking around the room but I had had a conversation earlier in the day that I was rethinking and I was just sorta off somewhere else... not on my mat entirely... sometimes I'd rejoin... find myself in some attempt at Mari B... but my mind wouldn't stop. Sometimes I find that even more meditative --- my mind so focused on THINKING.. but I realize that's not the point.
Do you think that we all just relive the same lessons until we get them...if you aren't a reincarnation believe you don't have to be.. I mean, generally, in this life or others if that's where your spirituality lies... is the alcoholic going to battle the inner thing that got him or her there in the first place for an entire life (my MIL always said yes), does it go further than that? Can you really, really, learn a lesson from that and walk away without the battle? Sometimes I really hope that one can and sometimes I really hope that one can't. Sometimes that thing takes you THERE if you know what I mean.
Yesterday I finally put in an order for a new Manduka... my mat is all over the floor and I saw someone's yesterday -- the new ones have this cool like circular design on the bottom which looks like it will be really sticky! Then I found out tonight that they sell them at Yoga Swami (could have saved the shipping). I still need to get a new bag though... could I lag anymore?
My best friend is turning 35 this week. You know... it's wierd. If you read back a couple of years in my archives you'll find where I was about to turn 34 and was really dreading 35. Well, 35 is only a few months away for me now too... whenever my best friend has his birthday, it reminds me that I'm also turning that age. A year later, I still have to do the math to tell me how old I am...but less often. It's like once you hit 35 you become more accutely aware of age. Not in a bad way..just as an experience. We'll see how I feel about 40 when I'm there! :)
Posted by ashtangagirl at 9:58 PM | Comments (3)
June 2, 2004
Time = Bend
Tonight I had a great practice... It always seem that when I have some time off from practice, I come back with a lot of strength. What happens when I practice regularly and find my stamina and strength lacking day after day? You'd think it would be the other way around. Tonight my teacher was in a consistently great, energizing, encouraging mode... he helped me with dropbacks which seemed remarkably easy and he wasn't even really holding me, just had his hand lightly by my back. I have some pretty gnarly owies on my feet so I found jump backs sorta hard, halasana excruciating...but, for the most part, I just favored them and things were good. Good practice.
I've been toying with the idea of creating an ashtanga collective.. a place for everyone with ashtanga blogs to park themselves. I spend most of my online "free" time surfing from blog to blog... most of the other blogs I read and all of the professional blogs I read come to me as an RSS feed with Newsgator... this saves enormous amounts of time (and, truthfully, the disappointment of seeing OKGR still hasn't blogged ;>). If there is enough interest, I've got the webspace and I'll take my time to do it... I think it would be pretty cool.
My trip to Canada is coming up so fast I can't believe it. Not only am I excited to spend time with Dr. (!) Lucia but the spa itself sounds like it is going to be incredible... time for yoga in the morning.. time to lay around.. time to read...
Posted by ashtangagirl at 9:45 PM | Comments (6)
June 1, 2004
Time For Some Introspection
One of the things I find most amazing about the journey of life is how we can be so blind. I mean, at least I am. Throughout my life I can point to a vast number of experiences which all lend themselves to the same life lesson and I still don't get it. Maybe the goal is to see a little more of the lesson each time... and, you know, I'm actually getting there as I grow closer to 35 but I still haven't mastered it. I wonder if part of it is simply that I have that constant yearning to get somewhere, get something, understand it all. Sometimes I complain that it's tiring... but, you know, life would suck if I wasn't like this. It makes me tick. When someone recognizes that, gets that, it's truly a prideful thing (a whole issue in and of itself)... Internally Intellectual. So what has caused this spurt of introspection? In truth, I spend the better part of everyday in my head... but I had a really nice conversation with someone today that lent itself to my remembering some of the, uh, more difficult lessons I've had to process in the past wherein I've sometimes crashed and burned and sometimes landed safely. It's interesting the challenges of nature, the challenges we make for ourselves.. it's like getting up in the morning to do yoga... this is purely mental and I know it. If you were to ask anyone if I have mental willpower they would all tell you that I can engage amazing amounts of willpower frequently but I can't pull myself out of bed before sunrise to do yoga. I'm just not there yet but it is truly self-made... My other self-made challenges are rearing their heads right now... I'm interested in where the landing will be.
Posted by ashtangagirl at 6:09 PM