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November 30, 2003
And the turkey's gone....
Thanksgiving came and went... I had hoped to get in a practice on Wednesday night as my favorite teacher was subbing a class at night but I had so many things to do -- bread to break, greens to wash, dishes to assemble, tables to make that I simply could not go. I got up Thanksgiving morning, prepared my Carmelized Onion and Mushroom Stuffing, washed the turkey (well The Husband did that part), stuffed the turkey, basted it with a homemade herb butter, put it in the oven, put on my yoga clothes and did my own practice at the gym. It was quite nice to break up cooking such a big dinner that way and it definitely gave me a more The Daughtere attitude for the rest of what is usually a fairly hectic day. Even better was that our new neighbors were going away for the holiday and allowed us the use of their oven... cooking for 15 with two ovens is amazingly easier and less stressful than with one.
I had a really good practice on Saturday. My jump throughs have regressed and I'm having problems jumping through without scrunching my hands up some so I've stopped. So many people were telling me so many things to "remember" while trying to jump through that now I'm so confused I can't do it at all :) I am, however, getting better at coming up from my backbend against the wall and really love the feeling that gives my back. I found out though that the sub for my favorite primary series class while the teacher is out of the country is one of the subs I don't like.... she doesn't know the practice, she doesn't know the names of all the postures and she gave us this big long speech last time about how ashtanga was developed by men and women needed to prepare for the practice before starting it and made us do all these rolly things before we even started Sun Salutations. Then she made everyone stop in Uttihita Hasta Padagustanasna (sp..don't have my book handy) and start over because we all grabbed our toes from the inside and that is, apparently, a complete no no in her world (though everyone I've seen does it that way). I don't think she can do the full primary series herself yet and I don't think she practices with Tim. So I'm bummed.... Hopefully my money and schedule situation will allow me more time at the Ashtanga Center but with the holidays coming up, I somehow doubt it.
Speaking of my neighbors I just LOVE them. A couple years ago we considered selling our home to move next door to some people we thought we were becoming fairly close friends with. I really really wanted the next door neighbor that you dream of -- you can send your kids over, vice versa, you share things, etc., etc. Well, we got these new neighbors and they are so close to that ideal. Tonight for example my phone rings, the wife says "Hey have you made dinner?" I said that I wasn't going to because The Husband was feeling a little sick and she said great because her husband had made a homemade pot pie and was bringing me some. This happens about once a week at this point -- one of the two us bringing food to the other one. Sometimes it is just delivering food to the door, other times our families converge and have dinner together. It's really really nice to have and I'm really blessed to have it.
Moon came today so no practice for a few days. I have to find out why my moons are causing me so much pain and emotional baggage... I'm so fed up with it that I'm ready to try anything. :(
Posted by shanti at 6:41 PM | Comments (1)
November 22, 2003
Of Routines & Realizations
Hooray! I did my first Mysore class with Tim Miller. Okay, sure it took awhile and you bet I was nervous and intimidated but I did it (and I even did it with a 4th series practitioner on one side and Kiran doing second on the other). I was doing pretty good, no one touched me for all the standing postures so I wasn't sure whether to make of this that I totally sucked and they just didn't waste their time or that I was okay (Kiran has since said I must not have been sticking out like a sore thumb :>). Tim was immediately there when I attempted purvottanasana and asked me to do it again, my legs turn outward and it's a very difficult posture for me. I got an incredible adjustment in badakonsana (I know that is not how to spell it but I don't have time to look it up). All in all, I had a really great time and I'm definitely trying to figure out how to work at least one Mysore class a week into my schedule.
Todays class was with Michelle and she "mixed it up" a bit... she had us do a full Vinayasa between asanas instead of half Vinyasas between sides. It totally threw me for awhile. I liken it to trying to write something with your left hand when you are right-handed...you know what you are doing but something is just different about it... throws you off balance mentally for a bit. All in all today's practice wasn't so good. I have a bit of a scratchy throat and I feel really week (New Moon tomorrow!) but I managed to make it through and even come up off the wall on my 5th backbend.
Today I've come to the realization that your children are simply born with some things. My daughter is a girl. There are just not two ways about it. Today we did toy exchange, they fill up a whole bag of toys to donate and they are allowed to replace it with one single small toy.... walking through Gap The Daughter eyed the "girl stuff" (as she called it) and went, instead of a toy, for lip gloss, nail polish and body glitter -- none of which I would ever wear. Not only did she opt for the body decorations but it had to be PURPLE... she is so girly.... where oh where did this come from and HOW will I deal with the teenage years?
Posted by shanti at 3:49 PM | Comments (1)
November 19, 2003
Peace & Center
Since my flower reading I have felt changed... I feel suddenly back to my center (which has been so far lost lately that I had forgotten what it feels like)... I am patient with the kids again, I am patient with my husband again... I'm not stressing out over the very little amount of time I get to fit in my work. I can't put my finger on just why I feel this way but something about that reading put my life into perspective.
I had a great primary series practice on Sunday... great mostly because the instructor helped me do dropbacks and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the feeling of dropbacks. I'm not using my legs enough and I definitely need assistance. I can get up using the wall now (usually only once and then I have no more strength) but the feeling of dropping back and coming back up is so wonderful for my back. I just want to come up to standing everyday. I think it releases this spot on my back that I injured in a car accident about 10 years ago.
Tomorrow I've dedicated myself to my first Mysore class with Tim Miller. I'm scared as hell. I don't know why it intimidates me so. I wonder if I should even try to do asanas that I really can't do -- like supta kurmasana or the fact that I can't roll in garbha pindasana (well I can but I usually get stuck or I can't go in a circle). They should have an "The Etiquette of a Mysore Class" instruction manual or something :) So, let's all put out the good thoughts that no child, career or other emergency arises which prevents me from going.
Posted by shanti at 10:14 AM | Comments (2)
November 15, 2003
Flowers Schmowers
Last night I took my friend to a Flower Reading for her birthday. I have been t one other "psychic" and one other psychic event neither of which knocked my socks off and the actual psychic was completely wrong on numerous things and too vague on too many others that I thought it was full of shit. I truly wasn't expecting much out of a flower reading....
We were told to bring a flower, any flower.... hold the flower for at least 10 minutes and when we arrived, to put the flower on the table being sure not to touch any other flowers. After all the flowers had been put down and the appetizers started the medium arrived. He was not what I expected... he looked like someone's grandfather... very non-descript. The medium selects a flower at random. He doesn't know who's flower is whose and he doesn't know anything about us -- names included. He begins to connect with the lingering energy of the person left on the flower and does his reading.
Let me just say that this man is absolutely incredible. I'm blown away by the experience. His reading of me started with him saying "As I'm connecting with this energy..." I'm feeling rushed, I have so many things to get done in a day, I don't even have time to sleep... (this is what I feel nearly everyday of my life trying to balance two kids and two full-time jobs without any help). He proceeded on saying that he doesn't do past lifes and it isn't something that he normally "gets" but in this case he was getting a very strong past life coming that was very influential in this life... he described the past life first as saying that he could see me (the person since he didn't know who I was) in his country (he was English)... that it was very Druidic in nature and then went so far as to mention Welsh druidic ... seeing me in a circle much like stonehenge. He said how connected I feel to druidic/elemental/pagan spirituality... that I'm drawn to the time period (now, for those of you who don't know, I'm basically obsessed with early Welsh and English history, my library contains a bazillion books on the time period, I took a 2.5 week trip to England/Wales/Scotland just to see castles from the books I read, my kids have two Welsh Celtic/Druidic names, my ancestors are from England, Wales and Scotland)... the reading continued further talking about my personality and he could NOT have been anymore dead on right -- how mental I am, that I don't "suffer fools gladly," that I over analyze, am a perfectionist... and a lot of other stuff. Then he went for something that really threw me... he said that I was a natural "seer-er" but that I hadn't developed the sense, that I had only had fleeting experiences with it but it is there for me should I try to develop that side of my spirituality. (well, I'm not sure if I ever blogged about it but about 4-5 times I've had visits from my mother-in-law... I've been SURE she was trying to communicate something to me but I wasn't quite sure if I was imaging or what -- I'll come back to this later)... then he went on to my relationships and boy, oy, was he ever completely right when he talked about my marriage, where I'm at and where we are... what our issues are. Truly amazing. Then he touched on something that I've always said if I a psychic did a reading and DIDN'T pick up on it I'd doubt.. he did... he said that I had had something happen in my childhood that made me the intense and introspective person that I am (earlier he had said that I was very social but craved my solitude time and craved time to be internal)... at this point he stopped my "blind" reading and asked me to identify myself (he did this to everyone at the very end and let people ask one question)...when I did he said "You had a tenuous relationship with your father." I was blown away but said "Well that's not the word I'd use." He responded "We are in mixed company and that's the word I'm *choosing,* you see." He told me that I needed to remember that my father is responsible for what he brought into this world and I am responsible for me that I don't need to take on his... very, very, exactly what I needed to hear and if I've ever discussed here my issues with my childhood, you would know that that is the exact issue I grapple with. Illuminating. When it came time for my question (and this was a 20 minute reading..I'm just leaving out some things) I decided to follow up on the seer-er thing.... some people asked about children, relationships, work (oh, he did say that my work is consuming me DUH and that I needed to get my hands dirty -- he said he'd love to see me pulling weeds somewhere or throwing clay).... anyway... I asked about my mother-in-law... when he brought "her in" it was a little odd but then he said she was presenting a picture that was so right on my mother-in-law and then he said "She's saying to release the anger." Even my skeptic husband thinks this is an exact phrase my mother-in-law would use. He was completely accurate about how my mother-in-law died even... truly an amazing experience.
I am so humbled by this experience and I feel almost a fresh perspective on life. He truly got to the nitty gritty of where I'm at and where I need to go and it was wierd. Some of the words he chose to use were so important included telling me something about the major issue in my marriage right now right down to the WORDS I HAD THOUGHT IN MY HEAD ABOUT IT!). After he left and the 12 girls in the room compared notes, each and every one of us with the exception of about 2 people thought his reading was 100% accurate. Those other two people were unsure of one thing he said during their reading (interesting they were both animals he was seeing around them) and one other person didn't like what he had to say -- that she was going to have a child and she doesn't want kids.
I think I'm going to schedule another visit with him so that I can tape record what he said. He was seriously remarkable and moving.
Posted by shanti at 5:26 PM | Comments (1)
November 13, 2003
All Tanned And Nowhere To Go
I swear I have the best tan ever right now... I look... sunkissed :) Okay, so, I normally don't get tan because as my husband says "Tanned skin is damaged skin." but I actually like myself better tanned. Shallow thinking... you bet. I broke my tooth last week and it is hurting pretty bad. I can't get it fixed until Monday and my head hurts so shallow thinking is about all I can muster right now.
I attempted to do my own practice today... after spending 3 days in a row doing my own practice and really good practices at that, I was hoping to make myself feel better but instead I gave up after sun salutations... I was so out of it that I could barely focus. Ah well, tomorrow is the Ashtanga Center so hopefully I can pull it together by then.
I just found out that I'm doing Thanksgiving Dinner here at our house .... for 16. Nice short notice, eh? This is how my husband's family works. Being the entertainer that I am (well, actually it is wierd. I am the entertainer..I have to have the table just right, presentation is big but I don't feel real skilled at putting together the timeline) I'm racking my brain for just the right Thanksgiving menu... Apple cider gravy? Pomegrante glazed? Prosicutto butter & thyme? So many choices..what to do! Nut or fruit infused stuffing? Or should I do classic? Chestnuts? And dessert -- do I make it or buy it? I've never made a homemade pie before, maybe I should try it this year....
Posted by shanti at 3:59 PM | Comments (1)
November 11, 2003
Cabo Wabo
We are home from our vacation and it was lovely. The weather was perfect, the hotel awesome. We really enjoyed ourselves basically spending everyday doing nothing. We'd wake around 9, open the door of our little "niche" which provided our breakfast every morning (basically a cabinet with an opening on the outside of the room and one on the inside, the hotel staff would place a basket of Mexican sweet breads and fruit inside the cabinet sometime in the morning and we'd get it on the other side when we awoke -- very nice touch). We'd make it down to the pool at some point, have a swim, have Salvador, the pool boy, bring us lunch and lemonade, hike down to the cove for an ocean swim, come back.... nap, read, lounge.
Then everyday as dusk approached, I'd take my mat down and do my practice. I had some really great practices down here in my little spot. The weather was warm and the breeze just perfect. I was a little afraid at first that I'd be self-conscious as basically anyone staying anywhere in the hotel could see, staff was walking around, people were out but I wasn't... in fact, I really just didn't even realize, after awhile, what was outside of me... I was very very centered. Probably the best part of this vacation was waking every day and knowing I was going to get to practice that day. There was no question of schedules, of kids, of help... it was a day and I was going to get to do yoga and it was great.
Our journeys to the only swimmable beach were very fun... The Husband took some other yoga pics on the way as we thought the scenery was beautiful for them.
The pool at the hotel was very cool -- a freshwater pool. The hotels water filtration system supplied the water so there was absolutely no chlorine in the water or chemicals and the difference was dramatic and oh so cool. We really enjoyed it. It was also infinity edge right on the water..check it out:
Pool Shot
We had some great dinners. Our favorite was Tequila -- if you are in Cabo, be sure to go.
Home now and lots of work... back to juggling life, love and a yoga schedule ;)
Posted by shanti at 2:17 PM | Comments (3)
November 4, 2003
Wah..
Sick again... and although I feel well enough that I think I could make it through a practice... I'm not going. This Friday we are leaving for our first sans children trip. My kids practically beg me to go to my mom's every weekend. They've stayed twice with her now for two nights with no problems... while The Husband & I stayed home twiddling our thumbs. So this weekend, we are going to Mexico, Los Cabos and staying here. So I'm "resting" (as resting goes with a 2 and 5 year old) and trying to ensure I'll be tip top for my first vacation. I'm very excited... mostly to bring my mat and be able to practice when I want and how long I want. Who knows if I will..maybe I'll sit by the pool and ask for drinks every other half hour... but I'll at least have the option.
My resting including making 4lbs of sugar cookies today. Yes, even my grinchy Halloween self makes treats. I like treats... in moderation for my kids. The sugar cookie dough is non-chemical, kosher but not organic :( The frosting is organic and the food colorings are all-natural from Dancing Deer. I'm actually curious to try them and see if the kids will notice... the green definitely smells like spinach and the red definitely is beets *phew* -- I did a little semi-taste-test with the neighborhood kids... but I was still cooking and I'm not sure if the neighbor moms were just being pleasant to me "Oh yes, oh-wierd-girl, my kids loved your spinach flavored cookies!"
I'm in a frustrating spot with work. My boss is the king of Give-Julie-All-New-Projects -- oh and make sure she doesn't know how to do any of it. This would probably be NICE if I was in an office and had 8 hours to bite off everyday but I'm not... I've got few hours and two kids and I'm trying to balancing things on a very precarious tip. If this was the job I was hired to do, it would be no problem because that I can do like the back of my hand... but all this learning and all this new stuff, while way cool and definitely a resume builder... well, it takes time and brain power both of which are scarce commodities for me.
I've been making fresh smoothies every morning now but my body is screaming for food by about 1pm. I crave protein. I'm not sure if it is mental though or just that I ate too much carbs/sugar this past week and I'm in an addiction phase. I've decided to go easy until after my vacation and then put my mind to how I'll transition my diet to allow some fasting.
Posted by shanti at 9:14 PM | Comments (2)
November 3, 2003
Fire & Brimstone
So I spent last week with two small children indoors, windows and doors sealed shut as best they could ... and it took a lot out of me. My kids were restless, frustrated and I was restless and frustrated. Not a good mixture for blissful days on house arrest but... we made it through.
The Bionicle costume came out awesome. You can see pictures at:
Picture 1
Picture 2
Picture 3
Mask close up
and of course, my little Snow White
Got no yoga in last week :( and basically no work either. I even had to take two days of vacation just to make the required number of hours in my full-time work week. I did manage to make yoga on Sunday and had a semi-okay practice. I've been battling either smoke inhalation lung issues or just some sorta scratchy throat since the fires and I felt weak. I was happy that I was able to stand up using the wall from my back-bend though. I sorta get stuck right at the end a bit and have to twist just a bit...not good. I need to work on it. My jump throughs SUCK! Even my favorite teacher is like "WOW, you are coming down hard." I don't know whether I should stop doing them until I'm stronger or whether I'll get stronger via doing them. How embarrassing.
On Saturday I went to a yoga demonstration at the Pt. Loma Ashtanga Center. Matias did a demo of 3rd and 4th series... beautiful. WOW. After he was done, we were able to ask questions and he talked a lot about his diet. He fasts every other day and I am in love with the idea. I've been looking for a new way of approaching my diet. I've been looking for a way to fast that I thought I could fit into my busy lifestyle and this sounds so awesome. I'm going to try and work into it slowly -- get back into mostly raw foods during the day then switch to juice fasting every other day..then switch to water fasting and see how it goes. Maybe I can slowly detox through it and not lose too much of the energy I need to have two small children and a full-time job.
I started by going and buying a nice Waring Pro blender... been making some smoothies with fresh fruit and some juice. We'll do that for awhile then move more into raw. I figure if I can leave dinner as some cooked foods and "open" then I'm more likely to be able to fit it in with my one selective eater, my other child who eats everything in sight and my husband who would wither away without a mountain of carbs in front of him.
Tonight my favorite teacher is subbing at the gym so I'll be happy to go to practice there tonight. Hoping to make Ashtanga Center on Wednesday...then Friday I'm dragging my mat to Cabo San Lucas! :)
Posted by shanti at 11:27 AM | Comments (4)