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August 8, 2003
Living in The Valley
Things have been very hectic this week... I lost an entire month's worth of code at work. Take that back, I didn't lose it... somehow it got lost between the last time I checked it in to our source control and the next time I checked it out. Not only did this happen to me but it happened to another developer who has a rollout that was scheduled for Monday (needless to say, it no longer is). My rollout is contingent on his rollout and, as such, my rollout is now postponed. A MONTH of work..gone, destroyed... the backups were done incorrectly so that isn't even an option.
I threw my cell phone in the trash can at the beach... at least, that's what I think happened to it. That my husband has worked for AT&T for 20 years and can't even get me a discounted cell phone is only the icing on top of the cell phone disaster cake.
I'll spare my few readers the rest of the sordid details about my horrific week and bring you up to speed with today -- my niece ran away from home yesterday. We still have no news on her whereabouts. She's 14. I want to believe she is with friends and safe but, honestly, I'm not so confident. Would parents really harbor a child who has run away? I'm hopeful maybe they don't know she's run away... do parents of teenagers actually talk to one another? I've told my sister to tell all her friends my cell phone # and that there's a plane ticket waiting for her if she'll just call me. She can come here, she doesn't have to see her parents first and she can hang out and get herself together for a week. I've always maintained that the punitive style with which she is parented was going to drive her from home... I've always said that I'm terrified of her searching for a love she doesn't feel she has at home... and here the first thing has already happened that I was so fearful of.
On the mountain tops of my life, I am noticing such a difference in my binding since I weaned The Daughter. Like suddenly I'm not constantly moving my boobs or feeling like I'm trying to get past them. In fact, I whoo hooo got bound in supta kurmasana all by myself... and, now, I realize I mentioned that I touched fingers awhile back but this was fingers clasped could have held it type of bound. I still can't get into it without sitting up first from kurmasana but I was still very excited nonetheless.
At the asthanga board there is a discussion about parts of the practice you dislike... I can't really pinpoint any right now but I know that when I started I absolutely detested the Prasarita Padottanasana sequence. Why? I don't know... I just felt horrible in my hamstrings. Now I have no problems with it. I've always simply loved Mari B. I'm really really into kurmasana and supta kurmasana right now -- even though I'm not *there* with either of them yet... I guess where I feel that sense of dread most right now is with Parivritta Trikonasana & Utthita Parsvakonasana. With the former, I struggle with balance, I struggle to lengthen my back... I don't feel quite "right" in this posture very often. With the latter, I don't feel it is because I can't do this posture correctly.. in fact, I think it looks pretty good from what little I've seen of it in a mirror but I tend to drift back to consciousness here... feel the strain in my breath... Oh and wait... Utkatasana is very difficult for me. It really isn't the lower part of my body that bothers me but the looking up... I feel very closed off in my throat... (actually I have this problem with the warrior sequence too)... I think I have a throat chakra blockage :)
Posted by shanti at 4:20 PM | Comments (5)