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June 7, 2003
Down In It
Today I did my first ashtanga workshop. I was original supposed to be the assistant to the teacher, a demo person and helping with the massage in savasana but, as it turned out, only 3 people showed up to the workshop. On the whole, the workshop wasn't what I expected. With 3 hours to kill, I assumed we'd do at least a full first series but we didn't. In fact, we didn't do even a regular ashtanga prep class... a lot of talking, a lot of focus on meditation and with some postures, a lot of different ways to figure out how to get the right alignment. Probably the best thing I learned today was that I actually can walk down the wall into a backbend and the other little trick of starting a handstand but actually throwing your feet against the wall then walking your feet down into a backbend. Oh, and, using blocks, I have no problem doing the jump-through... so WHAT is it that keeps me from being able to do the jump-through without blocks?
My downward spiral has not improved. In fact, it's only spiraling even more out of control... I feel more tension, more depression, more stress... I keep saying that if I just change my attitude everything else will follow. Sometimes I think Buddhism is too simplistic... but what about all the other bullshit... and, then I realize, the other bullshit is everything that will fall away. If only it were easy to do.
Posted by shanti at 9:13 PM | Comments (2)