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September 30, 2002
Vacation Blues
I'm back! Did ya miss me? We got home late Saturday but I just haven't had time to sit down and catch up here at Facing Inward. Our trip to Florida was fabulous -- our best family vacation yet. The weather was great, Lucia was amazing and we had such fun. You can check out some pictures here.
Because I can only admit it here -- one of the highlights of my trip was yoga. I did yoga all by myself in the yoga studio at the hotel. Why was it amazing? Imagine listening to your own ujai breath in a studio by yourself. What a way to learn to move your body with YOUR breath -- not your neighbors, not to the music but to your very own rhythm screaming loud and clear. Awesome. I even held a headstand longer than ever.
Tonight we had to go to a party for The Son's school. My friend that I was having the issues with was there. She just found out she's measuring 5.5 weeks bigger than her dates. Twins? I have to say that hearing her story really resonated deep for me. I have been mourning not having another child but I realize that I don't want another child either. I'm happy that I'm getting life back. I'm happy with sleep. I'm happy being able to do yoga. I have visions of future family vacations, things changing, things coming up and I have to say I don't want to start over again with another child. Isn't that selfish? But I'm happy to come to the realization.
Posted by shanti at 9:01 PM | Comments (5)
September 22, 2002
Parting Shots
Tomorrow we embark on our yearly end-of-summer vacation. Florida bound we are though I am not as excited about it as I was for our Hawaii vacation last summer. I am excited to meet and spend a few days with Lucia and The Son has been on pins and needles waiting to go to Florida for weeks. This morning when I confirmed that, yes, we were leaving tomorrow he responded "I am just so happy!" He's becoming this little boy so suddenly.
Two awesome yoga practices over this weekend and my body feels like liquid. I love my yoga practice and I think I'm going to have to bring my mat with me on vacation even if it means lugging the 8 pounder on the airplane.
Something I never thought I'd be doing but that seemed so Beaver-Cleaver to me... sitting on the couch leafing through a toy magazine while my children oohed and awed and told me everything they wanted for Yule.
Have an awesome week everyone. Namaste.
Posted by shanti at 2:02 PM | Comments (8)
September 19, 2002
Online/Real Life Parallels
Last night I skipped yoga. Okay, now you can all let out the collective gasp. Even I couldn't believe it but.... I went to a cooking class with a couple of my neighbors. It was awesome. We learned how to cook some appetizers and they were all vegetarian except one shrimp recipe. I've never been out with these two neighbors before but I've always wanted to. If there were women on the street on which I live with whom I identify, it would be them. I find that in my community life I always feel slightly outside: In my living community, I'm way too crunchy granola; In my created parenting community, I'm a little too suburbia. My views on the political nature of these two communities are usually outside what I believe the general consensus is. Imagine my pleasant (and horrified but I'll get to that later) surprise to find that these two women actually feel basically like me, if not more so. After hearing some of the "dish" last night and some of the horrific events, I'm astounded and yet not that real life can so mimic online community life. You know what it reinforces though - that it is LIFE and you can't force anyone to play nice (whatever your definition of nice is). The most horrific thing I heard last night was that a few women on the street have received anonymous letters with personal insults and, in at least one case, horrific accusations inside. Can you believe this? It is basically the same thing as posting a personal attack using the anonymous feature at YAAPS. I was horrified. I'm still horrified.
Today was The Son's first dentist appointment and I have to admit I was pleasantly stunned at just how well he did. They also checked out The Daughter's mouth and my fears were confirmed by the speculation of the dentist (who refused to commit since The Daughter's molars are not in yet), that The Daughter will need orthodontic work and will probably inherit the Bugs Bunny overbite I had as a child. The poor girl.
In out stunning and startling news, my child actually took a 2.5 hour nap by herself today. Yes, folks, the first time in 18 months, nearly 19, she's ever slept that long by herself during the day without a boppy pillow, without a monitor and without the tap tap tap of my typing. Miracles shall never cease.
Note to Holly, I bought Chodron's Comfortable With Uncertainity last night... have you read it?
Posted by shanti at 3:21 PM | Comments (4)
September 17, 2002
Homeschooling Mother I'm Not
Last week I was at the teacher supply store and picked up this book filled with crafts all about space - planets, space stations, shuttles. Since The Son is fascinated with all things space, I decided this would be great "down day" fodder and I bought it. Yesterday I spent $70 at the craft store purchasing all the supplies for the various projects and this morning was our first project. We selected the Jupiter and Sun models. Jupiter consisted of blowing up a balloon, gluing strips of newspaper around it, painting it with red and yellow and then making the "spot" out of a pie tin (tiny one), glitter and buttons, etc. I ended up gluing on the newspaper strips (not too lovely I might add - I never was crafty) and The Son ended up with paint everywhere. The sun was wire shaped in a circle with "flares" off the sides and we used colored tissue paper and cellophane to make the sun. The sun actually turned out beautiful, I'll have to post a picture of it.... but I still feel like it was such a stressful thing for us to do.
I'm fighting off a cold... please, please, Goddess, don't let it hit me full bore. I have so much to do this week and not enough time to do it. Yoga, cooking class, dinner with a friend, yoga, yoga, packing, yoga ;)
Posted by shanti at 2:41 PM | Comments (3)
September 16, 2002
Girl Interrupted
This morning is the yoga class that I take The Daughter to the kids center at the gym. They enacted a new "policy" a couple weeks ago that the younger children (under 2) play in one side of the room while the children 2-5 play in the first half -- the halves are separated by a small wall. The problem is that the "baby" side has no toys...the child side has all wooden toys - kitchen, dollhouse, a table for drawing but the baby side has a few baby toys and nothing for the "settled toddler" to do. When I left The Daughter, she was happily coloring and waving bye-bye... 1/2 hour later, my yoga class was interrupted by a caregiver asking me to come back to the center. I am really happy, on the one hand, that, true to their word, they came and got me the first time The Daughter got upset there. On the other hand, I think this new policy is an oversight for those children who are too old for the baby stuff and not yet aged 2. So, I think we'll just stop the morning yoga until The Daughter is old enough for the child side. I can pick up a 7pm class on Mondays and the instructor is pretty cool then too.
This week is so busy not only with life but getting ready for our vacation next week. I'm taking my first cooking class this week - an appetizers class. I'm very excited.
Yesterday at a family gathering - it's been a year since my MIL passed away :( my SIL gave me a book about personality types called Ennagrams and, so far, it has been really really interesting. Anyone studied this?
Posted by shanti at 1:14 PM | Comments (1)
September 15, 2002
The Curse of the Birthday
So every year it seems something happens on or around my birthday celebration that sort of mars it. Sometimes it is nothing big, sometimes it is difficult not to think the world is sending me a message. Last night was one of the latter. We left our house at 4:30. I didn't know where we were going but knew that I was instructed to pack an overnight bag. The Daughter had been doing really well with The Husband & my mom as far as sleeping so I wasn't that worried but when we got in the car I said I was nervous. We drove to this tiny beautiful hotel, The Bed & Breakfast Inn La Jolla which is just 15 minutes, at most, from our home. Our room was beautiful and just exactly what I was looking for... antique, stylish, classy, intimate, romantic... When we arrived there was a wedding going on outside the church right next door. It was nice to overhear two people starting a life together. We had some wine, cheese and we made love with an intimacy that we've not had before.
We went to dinner at a wonderful restaurant with an extensive and awesome wine list. We ended up with one of the cheapest bottles on the list simply because I wanted to try it -- Bonny Doon's Heart of Darkness. We loved it. Dinner was sensational - I had the lobster, The Husband had seared Ahi in combination with Hawaiian Butterfish. We finished off with a chocolate souffle to die over.
When we were driving to the hotel, we noticed that the museum across the street was having a big huge, black-tie fundraiser, Austin Powers-themed. The wedding reception was in full swing and from our room we could hear a mixture of music from both venues. Not disturbing at 9pm.... but as the hours moved forward... 11pm, 12am and the Austin Powers gala was still blaring music loud enough that we might as well have been there, it started to become vaguely familiar to me. I cannot sleep with loud noise. We hoped it would end at 12 but realized at 1am that it was likely not ending until 2. Figuring we'd hold out and then get in 6 hours of sleep before heading downstairs for breakfast we laid in bed... When 2am came, people left...and then it started... the trucks moved in. Loud, big, slamming things around, opening doors, backup beeping, people yelling... they were disassembling the entire thing right then and there. We couldn't believe it. The Husband had fallen asleep at one point but woke in a pool of sweat from the windows being closed. It was so hot there was no way to keep them closed and having them open we could hear every noise being made (well that wasn't too hard it was so unbearably loud). Finally, at 3:15am we made a call --- might as well drive home and get a couple hours of sleep than lay here awake all night - certainly breakfast can't be that good.
We arrive home around 3:30... The Daughter is asleep and fine, The Son and Grandma are sleeping in our bed and we have nowhere to sleep! A comedy or a tragedy, you pick.
On about 2 hours of sleep this morning, we have a family gathering. Determined to right the evening, The Husband and I put on Blue's Clues for the kids, went upstairs and made love with passion. We figure our bed, our home was where we are meant to be ... with our kids. It was a lovely thought but obviously the universe was sending us a message.
Posted by shanti at 10:18 AM | Comments (1)
September 14, 2002
33 Years
I was born 33 years ago. Most of the time I don't feel like I'm 33. Half the time I walk through my life feeling like an imposter -- surely I can't be this person, doing these things, with these responsibilities. It's a strange feeling to feel like a stranger to yourself sometimes. Other times, I'm so completely at home with myself I wonder about my sanity on the days I don't.
My mom didn't call this morning. Until last year, my mom called me at 9:14 on 9/14. I was born, you see, at 9:14am on 9/14. I haven't asked her why she has stopped calling me at my birth time but I've mentally made note of it.
My sister always FedEx's a birthday gift to me. Every year. This year she FedExed a card and some Blockbuster gift certificates with a note that the rest was coming later. I made mental note that her cards and notes never include the word love.
My neighbor Carolyn surprised today with a gift that touched my heart. It's a hat. That has this picture on the front and the words "yoga girl" on the back. When she dropped it off she said that it was "so Julie." It just really touched me that she'd think and remember my birthday.
This morning I went to yoga. I missed the primary series last night opting instead to go out to dinner and beers with my best friend. When the instructor came in today I asked for a birthday request... doing the Marichyasanas which this particular instructor doesn't often do. He agreed then came over to me, stood real close and together, very quietly we did the invocation (he also believes that the invocation scares people away if they are rooted in religious beliefs that view the invocation as unacceptable since it means "bowing to the feet of the guru" basically). He adjusted me at all the right times this morning including a wonder, wonderfuly adjustment in Marichyasana B (which, btw, is the asana I'm doing in the picture over there on left). During savasana he gave me a nice foot, head/ear massage. Happy Happy Birthday from my yoga instructor ;)
The Husband gave me a yoga tote today. I've been wanting one and he picked one from JuneEMoon for me. It is purple with large Om mandalas on it. It was so much easier carrying my big black mat around with the tote.
Speaking of yoga, my practice is so different now that I'm doing yoga 5 times a week. It is truly remarkable. I have more flexibility and more strength. I've pretty much got the primary series down and could probably do a Mysore class now. Someday I'll go up to Tim Miller's studio and do one of his classes -- his ex-wife was my midwife and I'd love to meet him just to see the other half if you know what I mean.
We're going out tonight but I don't know where. I signed The Son up this morning for PeeWee sports and he's very excited. The Daughter and I started parent-tot Waldorf school this week as well. She loves it though she sits awestruck through most of circle time.
On an interpersonal note, life seems to be getting back to normal for me. This summer things seemed so out of control and chaotic. With the start of school and a rhythm to our week, I'm feeling more grounded. Apparently, I don't do well with a lot of unstructured time.
Posted by shanti at 2:17 PM | Comments (12)
September 12, 2002
I Hate Days Like This
The day started off with an emotional upheaval that has perpetuated most of my day with conflicting thoughts. Am I a co-dependent person with overly high expectations for the people in my life? I do think I have high expectations but mostly in the form of honesty and openness. I hate bullshit gossip, lies by omission and general drama. Having been told twice in the past 6 months that I'm shamelessly frank, I'm open to seeing that most people might not be as unguardedly open as I am and I admit to having caused myself more than one day of grief due to it but, fuck, goddamned, if something is so fucking obvious, just fucking say it. What am I talking about? I think I mentioned a few posts back about my friend with whom I was very close and how our friendship had been dwindling away. This morning it basically got burned in the fire and I still don't quite understand why. What I do know is that being open and honest about my feelings ended with a terse "Goodbye, Julie" /click. I've since written an email (no I'm not gutless but I still do not have said friend's new phone number which is telling in and of itself, if you ask me - if you ask her, it's my responsibility to figure out her new phone number) and felt some closure. At least I said "Hey, I recognize that our friendship isn't the same anymore. Instead of pretending that it is, let's just act like acquaintenances." So it was met with anger and hostility... that's okay. I don't have to own those feelings.
Which leads me to... why do I always doubt myself based on other people's perceptions of me. I do this frequently. In this instance, I've spent the day wondering if I really do have issues being friends with people. Then I remember that my friends have been my friends for years and years and that must say something, right? The last time I got involved in the fire online, I spent hours trying to figure out how I had gone so horribly wrong in dealing with a friend when I thought I was just continuing a conversation we'd been having on ICQ but hearing all the horrible things said about me made me really question - am I really some judgmental bitch? Did I really say something so horrible? For the most part, I've come away with the perspective that these situations are meant to happen... they are learning tools. Without them would I really look so hard at myself? The other half of me just wants to live full of confidence. Then again, maybe confidence is really cockiness and I certainly don't want that.
In more spiritual notes, I had my nails done again. The nail/psychic hour included the following: The child that watches over me, she has one dimple, on her right side. The Son has one dimple on his right side. The child really wants me to give her some chicken... with ketchup. The Son's favorite meal is chicken with ketchup. I asked why the child is hanging with me, doesn't she want to be reincarnated. Not right now, apparently. I am in need of watching over. I go out in public and I act happy, I smile, things are good. At home though, I'm sad. I don't cry but I wonder how my life ended up here. This isn't what I expected and I feel lost. Pretty amazing considering that's basically right on target. The Husband, who doubts all stuff like this, says that she could have said that to anyone and it would have applied. I'm not so sure. It is all a little disconcerting at best.
Posted by shanti at 5:18 PM | Comments (1)
September 10, 2002
Could It Get Any Higher?
Today I feel like a normal human being. It is the first time since The Daughter's birth that I can remember treading through my day without feeling that fuzzy, haven't slept feeling in my head. 6 hours of sleep last night, I'm sure I haven't made a dent in my sleep debt but just for today I'm relishing feeling clear headed.
Then I read this in Natural Jewish Parenting (which, by the way, is a phenomenal read even if you aren't Jewish, which I'm not):
Night Shift Risk. Working at night - or being exposed to light at night for other reasons, such as insomnia [or perhaps nursing all night long] - may increase a woman's risk for developing breast cancer, according to a new Harvard Medical School study. Researchers suggest that nighttime exposure to light may elevate breast cancer risk by suppressing production of melatonin, a brain hormone that is made during darkness and that normally peaks at night. When normal melatonin cycles are interrupted, estrogen production rises, which stimulates growth of breast tissue. In the study, women's breast cancer risk increased 14% for each night [emphasis mine] of the week that they reported not sleeping during the period of the night when levels of melatonin are typically at their highest. Night-shift work is also associated with an increased risk for heart disease, digestive track disorders, and pregnancy complications. Interestingly, blind women, whose melatonin production does not drop upon exposure to light, have lower breast cancer rates than sighted women. Journal of the National Cancer Institute
Great, so, let's get this straight, I was up every hour for 15 months straight and am still up a few times a night more nights of the week than not (though thankfully, we do have some sleep throughs)... can we even CALCUALTE how many nights of melatonin sleep production cycles I've missed? Now, let's combine that with the risk rate of 95% which was quoted to me 5 years ago from my genetic doctor.... um..... nice odds.
Posted by shanti at 4:32 PM | Comments (3)
September 9, 2002
Floor Models With Nipples
So I was at the mall the other day, walking along to Carte & Barrel (where I got some bamboo placemats that I'd been wanting so I don't have to iron my placemats anymore) and I begin to notice the manniqueins in the windows... they all had nipples on them. Nipples on manniqueins. I'm still trying to figure out just why they would put nipples on them. Shit, it wasn't even cold outside.
***removed paragraph
I injured my knee. I'm not sure if it was the hatha class I took last Monday that focused on knees -- though it didn't hurt after so I don't think so -- or the fact that I fell down the stairs the other day. I'm not the most graceful of people and I didn't land so lovely. I knew I twisted my ankle but, my knee? Anyway, I skipped yoga for 2 days and paid the price this morning. I could barely do a forward bend and The Husband wonders why I want to find a practice while we are in Florida. I can hold my headstand for 30 seconds or more now. I've been practicing daily... The Daughter thinks it is the best to come under me when I'm preparing for headstand, my shirt flips up when I get up and then she nurses... quite the picture.
Posted by shanti at 5:26 PM | Comments (2)
September 4, 2002
No Cuter...
They just don't get any cuter...I don't know how I'm going to pick just a couple to purchase!
Posted by shanti at 1:54 PM | Comments (10)
September 3, 2002
Ashtanga in the Grove
This is how pathetic I am. We are going to Florida on our family vacation this year... 5 days. I can't imagine not doing yoga for 5 days so I just scoured the 'Net finding a yoga studio that offers ashtanga close to the hotel. I found one -- Lucia, you game for coming to a class? :) They have an intro class at 7:45 every night of the week. The also offer the full primary series every night at 6. I might definitely have to check that out!
For some reason, aside from the fact that Lucia is going to be there, I'm just not totally hyped about Florida. I think it has something to do with the fact that we live 5 miles from the beach here and well, how different can Florida be. I hear where we are staying, on the Gulf side, is different. Green water, warm and clean. Plus, I mean, we'll be away from everything which is the main goal. Of course, I am looking forward to the spa treatment with Lucia. I've never been to Florida before and I'm sure I'm just not aware of how beautiful it is. I discovered today that the hotel has 12 acres of eco-habitat on the grounds, preserved and they offer tours through it...that should be cool.
Posted by shanti at 5:05 PM | Comments (2)
September 1, 2002
100 Things About Me
Alright, everyone else is doing it... and here I sit, on the edge of my seat, waiting to see if The Daughter will wake up tonight...
1. I am, according to the computer at the gym, 32.9 years of age... my birthday is in two weeks.
2. I am the stereotypical Virgo
3. I am 5'11"
4. Before my pregnancy with The Son, I was 10-15 pounds overweight. Before my pregnancy with The Daughter, I was not overweight at all -- I was perfect for me.
5. Now I'm 20 pounds over the pre-The Daughter weight but figure it won't go away until I stop nursing.
6. I'm hopeful yoga will solve the weight problem.
7. I realize it probably won't.
8. I love to cook but I don't do it enough.
9. I harbor a wine fetish but I'm still learning how to pick them.
10. Today I picked up my first "cellar" wine.
11. I don't have a wine cellar...yet.
12. Yoga is my passion.
13. I feel sick to my stomach when I miss a class.
14. I've been married almost 8 years.
15. DH is 8 years older than me.
16. I cut my hair off every couple of years...really really short.
17. I never wear make-up.
18. Okay, a touch of mascara but nothing else..ever.
19. I love DKNY and Calvin Klein underwear...
20. They don't make bras big enough for my boobs.
21. I've been dreaming lately of taking a holiday from my kids.
22. I could probably never bring myself to do it -- even for a night.
23. I was vegan... but now I've been eating meat and some dairy.
24. I'm very conflicted about this - I'm not sure what it means.
25. I'm not very political.
26. I'm an aspiring Buddhist.
27. I feel out of touch with nature living in a climate that has few seasons.
28. I love big tall trees...the taller the better.
29. I really don't enjoy going to the beach that much but I love the ocean (I live a few miles from the beach).
30. I sometimes think my "healing" is all a bunch of bullshit and I'm really just completely fucked up.
31. My son is obsessed with space... it's freaky to read about how tiny we are out here in the universe.
32. I have problems making and keeping girlfriends.
33. My best friend and I have been friends for almost 18 years...he's a he.
34. I have horrible posture.
35. I hate nails of all kinds on anyone.
36. I also hate facial and body hair.
37. Fortunately, DH has no hair on his body.
38. I've always thought of myself as attractive and wonder what it would be like to not be attractive.
39. I usually get what I want.
40. I have to be careful of what I want.
41. Having a daughter scares the shit out of me.
42. I've secretly always wanted to learn to play an instrument...preferrably piano.
43. I know I misspelled that but am too lazy to fix it.
44. I'm not even half way done and I'm running out of things to say.
45. I can't wait to travel the world.
46. I used to live in Japan.
47. I had a boyfriend named Randy once, we had a pet ant... I killed it.
48. My mom loved that boyfriend...she wanted me to marry him.
49. I am the blacksheep of my family. I'm 180 degrees different than everyone in it.
50. I'm a programmer by trade.
51. I'm bored with it.
52. I want to a nutritionist or a psychologist.
53. I often wonder if I'll ever be able to go back to school.
54. I'm sexually repressed I think.
55. I'd like to be more adventurous.
56. I'm really trying.
57. I love, love, love to read.
58. I love twisted fucking novels. *Thanks Fel, The End of Alice is twisted*
59. I judge a bookstore by whether or not they have a copy of Geek Love (of course, with the Barnes & Noble/Borders phenomenon this doesn't really apply anymore).
60. I can't understand why DH doesn't like to read novels.
61. I've sworn to never buy another parenting book again but I'm dying to buy To Kindle A Soul.
62. I'm apparently a little too frank - I've been told this twice recently.
63. I don't notice I'm being frank.
64. Did I mention that I love yoga?
65. I'm somewhat ecstatic and terribly heartbroken that I'll never have another child.
66. I sometimes wonder if I'll end up divorced.
67. I sometimes fantasize about being divorced.
68. I love to eat out at really expensive, nice, good food restaurants.
69. I have a terrible habit of spending money.
70. I'm horrible at maintaining a budget as a result.
71. I am really great at making greeting cards... people often ask me to make their invitations.
72. I feel like I don't spend enough play time with my kids.
73. I think I will only nurse until The Daughter is 2 but, then again, I can't imagine weaning either.
74. I plan to remove my boobs and get fake ones when I'm done...but I am a little freaked about it now that I know they can't keep my skin, nipple and areola.
75. I hate my legs..I think they are hideously ugly.
76. I think I have a sexy back.
77. I sometimes screw up the words I'm trying to say and feel embarrassed about it.
78. I overanalyze EVERYTHING.
79. I was sexually abused pretty much my entire childhood (see the reference to healing above).
80. I find that parenting well does not come instinctually as a result.
81. I'm not a jealous person.
82. I'm really black & white about most things and rarely see much grey.
83. I hate living in suburbia and long for more space.
84. I drive an SUV...a luxury one at that...but its bought and paid for.
85. I've been trying to find some good erotica but haven't turned up anything that turns me on.
86. I think my mother-in-law comes and plays with my daughter in the night.
87. I find it funny that I'm not afraid to tell anyone that.
88. People tell me I'm funny but they can never describe in what way.
89. I sometimes feel like this clumsy, tall, amazon woman.
90. I love to get massages.
91. I like to watch TV in bed.
92. I swam competitively for 12 years.
93. I gave up all college scholarships for no good reason.
94. I paid for college.
95. I strive to know who I am and why I am and what makes me tick more than anyone I know.
96. I think people think I'm pretentious because of that.
97. I really believe that we all have different experiences in our lives for a reason and that we have to live our own truths.
98. There are people on the net that would be surprised how I feel about them - those that probably think I harbor hostility would be surprised to learn I don't and those that think I probably respect them would be surprised to learn I don't either.
99. I think my husband is my soul mate...even if I sometimes forget it.
100. I feel a lot of love for nearly everyone.
Posted by shanti at 9:32 PM | Comments (6)
To Jois or Not?
So, Patthabi Jois is in town. If you don't know who he is then you know nothing. Kidding... He's the guru, the father of Ashtanga Yoga and he's here on his world tour...supposedly his last (of course, they said that last year). I didn't figure I was anywhere near being prepared to attend one of his workshops so I pretty much wrote it off when I heard about it awhile back... Saturday my yoga instructor told me I should go then my friend told me he was actually doing an Intro class today. If only I had gotten said friend's message earlier because The Husband was already in the water surfing and so I didn't get to go :( *SOB* Tomorrow he is doing the full primary series... I don't think I'm ready for that but, again, said friend, said he'd go and we could both check our egos at the door (you did say you'd leave yours at the door with mine, right?) -- the problem, the class is from 7 to 9am. The plan... if The Daughter sleeps tonight, I'll go but, frankly, there's no way I can do the full primary series with Pattabhi Jois if I don't get any sleep. I'd have to leave more than my ego at the door.
Posted by shanti at 9:05 PM | Comments (4)