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August 29, 2002
Demon Be Gone
This week has been filled with battling my demons - my personal ones, familial ones, parenting ones. I think I just hit a climax and decided I had to come down some. My house was becoming chaotic, my mind, my body. My personal demons are being laid to rest mostly by sheer force of will rather than any major insight. I'm simply not allowing it/them to infilitrate my thoughts, my actions. Harder than it sounds but the mindfulness is the key to every path. My familial ones are harder and always will be. There is no receptivity on the other side of that relationship within which to do any work and so, the answer there can only be to acknowledge myself, my truth and to move on. My parenting ones are being battled and won currently by simply stepping back and letting go. Thanks to the women at MotherSpirit, I realized that letting control go was the answer to the chaos reigning between my children.
3 yoga classes so far this week. The Vinyasa Flow is amazing and I actually held a headstand for like a whole minute, maybe two, yesterday. I'm still struggling to find center in bakasana though :( It will come...someday. I'm absolutely amazed, however, at the increase in flexibility and strength since upping my practice from 2 times a week to 3-5 times a week. I can even do a standing forward bend now.
My marriage is on a high streak. Highs and lows come in every marriage but life is so much better on the high road. We are really meeting in the center and working on our issues and, even more importantly, noticing the small things and letting them ride. I think the key to this is the fact that I'm actually getting some regular sleep. I've noticed that most of my marital issues were nearly solely related to my lack of sleep and extreme lack of patience or clarity.
As for sleep, The Daughter is doing amazingly well... more sleepful nights than sleepless and even her sleepless nights are twenty times better than they were last month. Hooray, maybe life is finally reaching even keel.
Posted by shanti at 3:12 PM | Comments (1)