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August 10, 2002
Like Jello Only Firmer
Today was my fourth ashtanga class of the week... My body is jello... but I've truly loved it. I've also now experienced a shower at the new gym and, let me tell you, it is heavenly. Friday night's yoga class was an intro class... didn't know it until after the class started but it turned out that the instructor did the entire primary series which I was very happy about. The pace is a bit slow but getting the full primary laid out was nice. Today's class was most definitely a gym version of ashtanga -- in other words, not ashtanga really at all -- but still strenous and a good learning tool. I have to say that I'm finding if we stick with this gym thing the trick is to get over the ashtanga snobbery and find the lesson in each class because each instructor brings something different to the table. It is so nice to be able to do yoga multiple times a week.
My friend called me up to tell me that he'd approached his wife with regard to his feelings about her not working. We had had a long conversation about it recently -- I asked how he felt about it because my work is dwindling down and the thought of having no income of my own really freaks me out. I also have these feelings that if I were the husband in my family I'd feel somewhat resentful. Anyway, during our conversation he told me that he did feel resentful -- his wife has about $40K in school loans from a private university and is doing nothing with her education having chosen to stay home with their 2 year old daughter. They live with her parents now in an effort to stay alive financially and it is really wearing on my friend -- 34 and living with the wife's parents... I can't even imagine the stress. Well, this brings me back to my feelings... I have always worked and brought home a decent salary. Everything extra we do and have in our life is a result of my work. When I stop working, the extra goes away. I'm okay with that though I expect it will be a large adjustment. What concerns me more is the thought of being fully dependent on another person... dependent and indebted to them. I can't help but feel that way though I know I should not. I'm capable of work and I feel like I should be. I wonder if I'll ever get over feeling that way?
Posted by shanti at 2:31 PM | Comments (6)