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July 24, 2002
Like A Rollercoaster
My life is up and down and the pivotal turn in the track is the amount of sleep I get the night before. Last night I ended up so desperate, so tired, that I cried next to The Daughter's bed. After an hour of non-stop, comfort sucking --- that's that really annoying type of suck that sorta tickles but really grates on your nipple and after 30 minutes of that you want to launch yourself to the moon -- I finally told her that I couldn't nurse her anymore that we'd have to find a way to get her to sleep without that type of nursing. I tried to get her to latch on all the way but she'd not do it. I picked her up, I set her down, I cried, I begged, I pleaded and, finally, I set her down, plopped myself down and just cried. Lest you think this was some monumental occasion that my husband would take notice of and think "Gee, maybe some moral support is in order," he stayed downstairs "working" while The Daughter and I cried together. Once I got my frustration out and all over my face, I picked her up and just walked with her until she fell asleep (this is what The Husband does when I go to yoga so I know it must work for her). Of course, she didn't fall asleep until like 9:30 or 10 but, whatever, my boobs were spared the other parts of me crawling out of my skin.
All in all, last night was a steller night... we nursed at 11:30 and she slept til 4. That's as good as it gets right there. I just don't understand why it can't happen frequently instead of once in a full moon.
Sleep the elusive key to my existence.
....
In other news, I made some money this week (*wink* to Kyle) and I decided that most of it is going in the bank for The Son's first year of tuition should we need it but I was determined to spend a few dollars on myself. Nordstrom is having their yearly anniversary sale and I found a couple of low-cut shirts and bought a nice molded-cup bra -- I figure, if I got these boobs for now and they keep me up all night, at least I'll try to enjoy them during the day instead of covering them up. Then my neighbor had a jewelry party (she makes her own jewelry) and The Daughter & I got little bracelets. You should have seen her with this bracelet...she was so proud. I tell you, I didn't really buy the whole genetic/nature girl thing...but this child loves clothes, brushes, hair pieces, jewelry... and I'm no girly-girl so she didn't get it from me!
A little consumerism to lift my spirits... I never said I was perfect.
Posted by shanti at 3:31 PM | Comments (8)