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June 30, 2002
Testing
Testing this feature.
Posted by shanti at 9:21 PM
MT 2.21
WOW.. MT's new version has "trackback" pinging. Sounds really cool! I am going to try to set it up today and maybe I can get Madame Fab to test it out with me (yes, I'll have to upgrade you too!).
Posted by shanti at 1:48 PM | Comments (1)
Oh Lordy Trouble So ....
I feel really introspective of a suddent and, yet, I can't quite pinpoint what I'm feeling introspective about. I'm angry with The Husband, well, I guess that isn't true. I'm simply angry right now. I feel like The Husband is not there to support me as a parent. If I'm in the house then I'm in charge. If I'm in the house then The Husband is free to go do whatever...paint the walls, wash the car, pee by himself, etc. but I am never afforded the same opportunity of freedom. I'm feeling resentful that I can never have downtime in my own home. I realize this is my attachment to the freedom I think I want and that if I'd just stop I'd realize I have lots of freedom but, just for today, I'm choosing to wallow in my anger. Well, just for this morning since The Husband's whole family is coming over for a family get-together this afternoon and I have to start my beans, rice and avocado salsa shortly.
Do you ever wish you were one of those people that just got off on exercise? I've always wished to be one of those people. I swam competitively, at high levels of competition nationally, for 12 years. I can't even remember the emotion or feeling of those competitions but I can remember that ever since I was like 20 I wanted to feel like working out. Yea, I want the benefits of working out ... a svelte body that looks good but, to a large degree, I want the health benefits of it more. I want to be young for my kids. I want to be active with my kids and, yet, as much as I think about it... I never quite do it. I go for a 5 mile bike ride every other week and, yea, I do yoga 2x a week but that isn't consistent and regular exercise and that certainly isn't going to eat the cellulite off my thighs and ass. Which leads me to pondering.... I remember being in high school... probably 9th grade. I was at the pool (where we spent every summer since I grew up in the desert) and having a boy tell me that I was getting "my sister's thighs." I was devastated. I still remember that day and I still beat myself up about it. All these years I've struggled with my body image and I'm still looking for that key of acceptance. Where is it that I can't find it. What do I need to let go of? A lot of the time I think that somewhere, somehow this must relate back to my childhood and that the abuse of me as a child has led me to have some deep internal thought that I am simply an object. On the upper levels of my mind I know this is not true and, yet, something inside says this is the barrier to break.
Posted by shanti at 9:40 AM
Silly Quizzes
Taken from Holly's Blog. I never do these but I'm bored and NAK.
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? Our family lives in a 4 bedroom house which also serves as office space for both The Husband & I.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron, Hope's Edge - The Next Diet For A Small Planet by Frances Moore Lappe & Anna Lappe, Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? The chakras surrounded by a lotus with snakes up the sides and a beatle under them.
4. YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? certainly not candyland
5. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINES? Shambhala Sun, Mother Jones, Alternative Therapies, Yoga Journal, Vegetarian Times
6a. FAVORITE SMELLS? lavender, ylang ylang, Buddhist monastery template incense
6b.NON FAVORITE SMELLS? 4 year old poop,
7. FAVORITE SOUNDS? wind in the trees
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? morning sickness
9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? How early is it and how many times have I been up in the night.
10. FAVORITE COLOR? green
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Well, it depends on if I can find the phone which often I can't.
12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD? No future children for me.
13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE? living in love
14. FAVORITE FOODS?
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? yes
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? no
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? cool if I'm not all alone at home
19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? old MG Midget (remember I'm 5'11")
19b. ULTIMATE CAR? The new Lexus thingy..don't even know the name of it or a Porsche just for the thrill
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? Thich Nhat Hanh (alive) or Eleanor of Aquitane (dead)
22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Virgo
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? yes
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? doing research into the pyschology of birth
25. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes, I still am
26. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF Full? half full
27. FAVORITE MOVIES? I can never remember the names of movies so I ask The Husband..he's not home
28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? yes
29. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? The Husband's newest snowboard..some new high tech top of the line, super secret core Burton board
30. FAVORITE NUMBER? 4
31. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? don't enjoy watching sports
32. YOUR FAVORITE AGE SO FAR IN LIFE AND WHY? 30, I felt really whole at 30
Posted by shanti at 7:33 AM | Comments (1)