« June 3, 2002 | Main | June 6, 2002 »
June 5, 2002
Pillows
When is it safe for a child to sleep with a pillow? The Son never slept with a pillow until he was 3 or older. The Daughter loves to find the pillow at night. I'm so overly paranoid, I never let her. Tonight as I was putting her to bed I wondered when mainstream families start using pillows and comforters and regular beds instead of a crib.
Posted by shanti at 9:27 PM | Comments (2)
My Baby Days Are Over
Today was the day... the big V day. The Husband says it didn't hurt although he had psyched himself into it beforehand. I feel conflicted about it. On the one hand, I'm okay with having two children. A large part of me feels that this planet is overcrowded as it is and we should replace each other. Another part of me feels that having 3 would be amazing. Certainly not right now but I'm not ready to say never. The Husband, on the other hand, has never doubted his desire to have two children and I see and feel his reasons. Regardless of how I feel, I would never pressure him into another child for selfish reasons and so I stand behind him in this decision. It is still a hard one for me. I just found out my really good friend is pregnant with her third. Her "baby" is just one month older than The Daughter. At some points I think "Oh we could do that..."
Then again, I'm up all night every night with The Daughter and, to be honest and completely un-breastfeeding-PC, I'm done. I need to night-wean The Daughter. My heart aches at the thought but my body, my family, my head they all need it. I'm suffering mentally. With but a few exceptions, I've been up nearly every hour to every two hours for the past 15 months. This is insane and, more than that, it's unhealthy. I'm starting to make huge mistakes at work. I've found myself driving on more than one occasion when I absolutely should not have been. I'm irritable, cranky and so tired I can barely sustain my household. The last two nights I've experimented with not offering my breast in the night. She's fussed a bit but no real crying as long as I hold her upright. In that position she will lay her head on my shoulder and simply go back to sleep. Uncomfortable for me but, hell, I'm up all night anyway. We'll see what happens. In this situation I truly believe that I need to listen to my gut. Up to now I've felt it wasn't right but I'm starting to feel comfortable with the idea. If I can even get her down to just 2-3 wakings a night I think I can continue to live.
Posted by shanti at 8:53 PM | Comments (6)
So, so...what do you think?
Quite frankly, I love it. I like the name. I like the layout (the circle is shamelessly adapted from some business site that I saw when I had already created the two colored banner - they had the same thing (not rocket science obviously) with the circle). It feels more like me. So here I sit and here I stay. I'm not so concerned anymore with not being "found"...I don't really care. I just wanted to really separate myself from the blog rings I was in and be a little more independent... and here I am. No cloak. No veil. No worries ;)
Posted by shanti at 7:10 PM | Comments (5)