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May 21, 2002

Whew...I'm Done

The Son's school auction is next week. I'm in charge of inputting all of our donations, compiling them then turning them into a pretty auction listing for all of the people coming to the auction to review. You know, I can't do anything half-assed and I have now spent the better part of 3 days doing this thing and mostly late at night after The Daughter has gone to bed. I'm exhausted but this morning it went to the printer and I'm done. Hooray. The auction is hopefully going to be a success. This year we got $30K in donations! That's $10K more than last year. There is one item I really want to bid on - a 5 week class for a couple on Redirecting Children's Behaviour. I think it would be great for me right now because I sometimes get stuck on the lingo. I know what I should be doing but it just doesn't come to me verbally.

So, what was that list of things I was going to talk about? Here I go:

The Daughter & The Family Bed. I've been doing some experimenting. The Husband was out of town for a week and The Daughter slept so much better --- waking up at 4am to nurse for the first time. If you don't know our sleepless history, this is a miracle compared to her usual every 1.5 hour wakings. The day The Husband came home she was up all night again. So, I've been playing around and I've discovered a few things. No covers and she needs ROOM. If there are two of us in bed next to her, her between us or even on one side, she's up all night. The last 3 nights I've been sleeping curled up in a little ball at the bottom of the bed leaving her and The Husband sleeping regularly and 3:30 has been the magic wake up time. THIS I can handle. So, I'm not sure what to do. We don't own a crib, I can't sleep curled up in a ball at the bottom of the bed for much longer - it kills my back, we do have a spare bed but it's a queen and I'm worried if I put her in it with just rails that it is too dangerous. When do most parents move children to their own beds from the crib? We should do the obvious - have The Husband or I switch rooms but I just feel like we never get to be with each other... nighttime is the only time we really get to be together. Stupid I know... we'll probably work through that at some point.

Allergies. There is this family that I know on my street. The little boy is always running around with a clear runny nose, always has eczema on his face and the mother knows this is allergy related. She admittedly says it is. Why not do something about it? If treatment is too expensive or you don't believe that it will work, then why not at least eliminate the allergen from the diet. I just wonder about that and what I wonder is... what are the long term effects on the body of the child when the body is constantly fighting this allergy, when the immune system is constantly on guard because it thinks the substance is foreign?

Marriage. I can't even begin to tell you the absolute and immediate improvement in my marriage when I decided to clean the slate. For me this was a mindset and a mindfulness all through the day. Just coming at each conversation without an agenda based on past experience, with a pure heart and open mind has worked miracles. It is based on this experience and other experiences in my daily life that I really believe we do need to PP the world. Everything in this world of ours is based on relationships and those relationships are steeped in communication. If we can have the most pure communication we can improve the world for our children. If everyone were to use language that we try to use with our children, language that promotes respect, language that promotes a relationship, language that opens the door to discussion not slams the door up in defense, our world would be so much better whether you are Jimmy Carter talking to Castro or chatting on ICQ. It does make a difference how we word things and what our intent is. The key is erasing the cluttered slate of past experience so you don't confuse what is happening now with what happened then. This seems to be taking my marriage from one of struggle to one of partnership.

Online/Blog Stuff. While I had many things to say. I think it is pointless. What is my reality, my take and my truth is not what anyone else's is and it doesn't have to be. We all see what we see based on many things. Nothing I can say is going to change someone's mind that is already made up. Nothing I can say is going to change the opinion of someone who has formed an opinion and sealed it in. What is right for me right now in my life is to release myself from the drama that seems to pop up every few months. For me that means removing myself entirely from environments in which that happens. So I'll hunker down and stay where I feel comfortable and remove myself from those places that feel unhealthy for me. I completely believe that each and every person has every right to say and ask and write and believe whatever they do it just isn't always right for me in the place I am emotionally and mentally to be involved too.

Okay, I think I covered all my thoughts. This is probably the longest post I've ever made so if you are still with me... thanks to you. Oh and did I mention that this weekend I get to go to The Chopra Center! I'm so excited. My day starts with yoga, then massage, then meditation and lunch. It should be an awesome and enlightening day.

Namaste.

Posted by shanti at 12:52 PM | Comments (6)