Seattle was as Seattle is... Cold and sorta rainy. This was the first time where Seattle was "just a trip" with nothing else attached to it. I don't really like Seattle. I mean, yea, it's got some cool crunchy granolism but Seattle is just way too, well, dark for me.

I've had some time to start processing the past couple years. I've been purposefully attempting (for better or worse) to remove my personal attachments to the people and things in the last year and simply list the "things" that have happened to me. When I do that, I feel like a big huge schmuck. What have I been thinking?

At the same time, when I watch myself, as a bystander, as I'm going through life I just simply don't have any idea what I'm doing. It's not like I think I should either... it just is what it is... but what I have noticed is that I'm taking absolutely no responsibility for anyone else's actions. You do what you do, you say what you say and I'm simply not worried about what is truth and what is your rightness (if you will). I think it's almost selfish and I'm okay with that for now.

Last night I had one of those nights where after I feel like I've said way too much been way too open... but I also realize I am just like that. I am ALL out there... ALL the time. I don't have the fortitude to be secretive or to hide my feelings or thoughts. I just am, all there, all the time, love it or leave it.