It's been a crappy weekend. The essential deal is this: I am responsible for a session at a big conference and have little help. The software is new and I'm struggling to get it all installed and working in the manner in which it is supposed to function with all the other software. My job doesn't really entail this type of work and I'm not really equipped to do this type of work anymore... but I've been doing it all weekend. This entails downloading a LOT of data across a slow VPN and repetitively creating ISO images from product downloads and hitting the next button for 3 days. I won't hesitate to admit to being completely frustrated.

I planned yoga today but was so far behind with this "project" that I do not feel I can afford the time. I know I need to reprioritize but I'm sorta having a mini-freakout about being successful at work and how important that is to me now. I've never felt the pressure of having to make my own money before... and it's a very interesting responsibility to digest.

I have however been eating really well! I've had cooked food once or twice in the past 4 days and I've been loving all the changes in raw food specialty food since I was raw before. I always struggled before because I spent so much time chopping and blending and sprouting and yada yada. I really loved it but once I had two kids and a job, it wasn't happening for me. It would be WAY easy to be a raw foodist in 2009. There is amazing good, great, fantastic food out there... but it's way too expensive. With said responsibility, frugality must come.

That didn't stop me from indulging this week though... getting my act together with a little help from my friends... that's how I'm looking at it.

So the food has been amazing. The raw burger at The Greenery are phenomenal... The banana dream cheesecake is better than chocolate.

I had a moment today that made me question my internal strength. There are just those little things we have in our lives you know where we don't really understand them, we're just sorta moving with the flow until we see where we are sitting. When that moment happened today I questioned whether I'm being unfair to myself or just a big fat wimp by continuing to take the path of least resistance.... or, on the other hand, does it really matter if I figure it out. Isn't it just as valid as to keep being in the movement, one with the flow... no matter what the outcome.