I didn't wait for the blog software to create the entirety of the last post and so it didn't let anyone comment but thanks for the emails.... and here's what I have to say in response.

Thank You.

Thank you my friends and, you know who you are... thank you for never judging me. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for listening to me when I struggle, when I'm schizo, when I'm centered, when I'm angry and irrational, when I'm calm and in control...

Thank you for understanding how challenged I am by reaching out to humanity and people while I struggle instead of doing what I have always done, which is completely retreat and lock the door behind me. Those of you that have known me the longest will know that this pattern of mine has been in existence since before I could drive a car.

I've had some stumbling blocks on the way. I've been too open. I've let myself just be exposed and raw completely and that's the wrong thing to do... as I'm quickly finding out. It's some tentative balance that I haven't quite figured out -- how to be open and free but still socially accetable within the hierarchy (and it is a hierarchy) of the social networks in which you roam. And, let's be honest, we all have many social networks... the different groupings of people with whom which we interact... and each of those networks has slightly different basic rules to follow.

For the first time in awhile, I'm not feeling like I can do it anymore. I'm overly extended. Presence and breathe. Presence and breathe. Presence...