Today was veterans day so the kids and decided to spend a few hours in the afternoon together. I awoke early to get some work done, took a few calls, found out some stressful things I have to do... and then I searched for my bowling ball... the one my dad gave me when I was 18. It's pink and says JULES above the finger holes. I haven't bowled in 15 years but I knew I still had that bowling ball somewhere and I eventually found it... buried in the garage but still sound and waiting to see pins.

It was very fun. I actually bowled 166 in the first game. Not bad for the first time I've thrown a ball in 15 years or so. The kids were hysterical... barely able to hold the smallest of balls and definitely barely able to roll them down an alley. They tried every manner of stance, ball throwing (including the one with two arms and a spin which nearly took out the people 3 lanes over)... and ended up with some hodge podge of a run, throw, hope the bumpers made the ball go all the way down the lane.

After bowling I had a meeting... it was an interesting meeting that left me feeling much stronger and clearer than before. And then, it happened... I had a reason that I needed to talk to a person who has hurt me gravely. For the past month or so, each time I had to do this, the band-aid was ripped off and I hurt even more than the last time... but tonight... tonight I actually felt a calmness. I didn't feel hurt and I didn't feel desperate. I mean, sure, I felt blips of feelings but I was able to say "Let go" and they went... I believe this is mindfulness -- the kind I used to have before my life got so haywire.

Tonight I'm trying to let go and do other things while I formulate a strategy for a big presentation I have to do. Awhile back in my career someone told me I should be billing my hours if I'm in the shower thinking about work... I don't have to bill my hours anymore but I definitely thinks this counts... while I was bowling, while I'm typing this, I'm trying to figure out the approach to the problem and then I'll document it and then I'll present it... and hope I don't fall on my face.

Wish me luck.