Last night I was sad so I drank wine... too much wine... when I woke up at 6am I thought "That was really really really stupid." But, in my effort to find the positive in everything -- I was hung over and tired and, as a result, I actually slept on the flight home. For those of you inexperienced with the depth of my dread of flying, that's a pretty amazing feat.

TWBD was a bit late picking me up at the airport... I sat on a bench in the full blazing sun marveling. How small is this world that people 1,000 miles from each other can be intertwined in life... and yet how big that a big metal bird can traverse the hail and the rain and the storms to the perfectly blue and beautiful sunny sky that is San Diego. I always feel this immense spring of life when the sun hits my face... call it the vitamin infusion.

Two parent teacher conferences at the school today. The Daughter - she's motivated and driven and social and, aside from her lying issues, well-adjusted and balanced. The Son has some issues with internal motivation and organization. He's such an amazing little kid and I love his personality that is coming out as he ages... his teacher has seen what an amazing author he is... she told us today it has been 10 years since she's had a student with his voice in a class and she's sure he will grow up to be some amazing author. I wish I could understand his inner workings though. The Daughter is so easy to figure out... The Son is like a mysterious black box that I keep trying to fit the parts into.

This evening he told me all about his Cotillion classes... he said the dance (a formal waltz type) with a girl was "wierd" ;) Maybe he's not such a black box afterall... just maybe, he's a boy. I'm sure I'll never understand them.

This afternoon a neighbor tagged me down.. a long overdue open discussion of life. It brought a sense of sadness to my heart which made me sit and think about the empty hole I've been feeling in my heart and how to fill it up. I wish I could say I have this overwhelming motivation to practice 6 days a week, eat raw and be the free spirited hippy chick I used to be... but I'm not really there. All the pieces of my life are in a bag being jumbled around and I haven't yet figured out which pieces belong to the puzzle. The neighbor reminded me that connecting with real people who know me and love me is important...I've been neglecting that and I've been neglecting me.

Doubt that the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move his aides, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love
~ William Shakespeare