I had a great day at work today! First, I got my first paycheck.... and after going through the experience of willingly taking a severe paycut, it was super nice to be paid what I'm worth. I have some serious catch up to do financially, especially after last employer didn't give me notice in a position for me to do anything about it very quickly... but, in the end, it was exactly the nudge I needed to take some time off and figure out what I want. I like what I want. It's really exciting to be figuring out what I don't know, freaking out over what I don't know, feeling insecure, yet strangely calm about it.

Then I just had a great "normal" day at work. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing nothing productive yet but I am finding all the stuff and figuring my way around if only in the miniscules of an 1/8th given the amount of stuff out there when you're "on the inside."

As with most days lately, the emotional life is like someone else taking a walk during my life. I am consistently amazed at the feelings I can feel and the clarity with which I feel certain about them whether they be difficult or filled with elation.

Tonight I had moments of joy in my practice. The first time in a long time. During Parivritta Parsvakonasana I actually started laughing... just filled with joy. And for the first time in a long time I just thought WOW I'm really strong when I practice yoga. I enjoyed every single upward dog! All of them... The spine felt amazing. So when I did half a practice and then dropped down to backbends.. I was ready to open my heart. Also for the first time in a long time, I listened to something other than sanskrit chanting for practice... a new CD where the lyrics are just really perfectly fitting for me right now. Not just one song, but the near majority. As soon as backbends came around, the song that came on was just perfectly balanced in the feelings evoked in it - sadness but joy, strength but weakness... I cried through backbending and it felt great.

That's that cleansing feeling... yoga therapy.

From Ashtanga.info

Primary Series (=Yoga Chikitsa / first series) is said to be the most demanding Part of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga. - Because it is the first series you learn as a beginner.... and every begin is hard.

The Primary Series of Ashtanga Yoga practise is called Yoga Chikitsa. Yoga Chikitsa means Yoga Therapy. It is a series for cleansing and healing the body.

In that vein, today's challenge is to find the absolute coolest I can about today.

This is where I practice yoga. To my left is a big fireplace that is gas but also serves as the heater. The setting only goes up to 6 so that's what I set it to. The apartment overlooks a park on the other side of the street -- or sorta, the stairs to the park. Just on the other side is Lake Union (I think). The road is very busy but I'm getting used to the sound of the traffic that makes it sound like a city around here.

I always told myself that if I didn't have a family, I'd live in the city. Like New York City. A big huge city.... where there are so many people... As I was practicing I realized how much I like the apartment here.

So there ya go, work is cool, yoga is cool, I'm just so cool!

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end." ~some band I'm blanking on (Semisonic?)