I took a bath tonight. It is the first time in a very long long time I've taken a bath. I really like baths, especially when I'm not practicing. I think I've said that before.

Anyway... I was thinking in the bath about the first night in my new apartment. I was planning on maybe going out on the town with a friend, or maybe hanging out with someone else somewhere... but the thing is, none of those sound like the perfect thing. The perfect thing would just be to make some great food, get a great bottle of wine and just hang out in my new house. But when I say that I think the best person to be with me would be The Best Friend and since he can't be, I don't like that idea at all :)

I was also thinking about how the feeling sinks into the pit of your stomach when you realize in a certain situation that you believe what you believe. It's like deciding whether how you stand on the death penalty. When you've finally analzyed your feelings or made whatever decisions led you to know in your physical being that the way you feel is the way you feel, for or against. That same level of judgment, of decision, has come into my life recently in many ways. Being on a trial is just one example of that. I've had many others in the last couple weeks. But the moment of realization is the same.. you feel it in your body... even when you know that decision means something very different than you wish it meant as it begins to unfold into life. On the other hand, it's all done, over... (not that these things are linear, they ebb and they flow in life, yes.. but there are definitive moments of justice sprinkled along in there).

As I was thinking, I was stretching my body and arching my back when suddenly... a felt this wierd "fold" down my right breast. It wasn't necessarily painful as the same alien-ish experience when you first feel a child moving a limb around inside your womb (note: this is not the same as kicking in the womb). It reminded me that, like having a broken bone that didn't set correctly, I can't ignore the limitations I will forever have. The lesson? Never ever do backbends without the support of a full action sports bra.