The Shasta trip was amazing... as if I expected anything less. For some reason, I find the trip magical... it's not the yoga, it is the hiking and the exposure to nature and the integration of the community, the yoga and the solidity of the earth in such an energetic place.

The Yoga

The led second series practices were tought for me but not as tough as I thought it would be. For the most part, I struggled with Pincha and associated poses plus the seven headstands... there were a few more hard poses and Mayurasana (which I doubt I'll ever even attempt) but it wasn't overwhelmingly scary with the exception of the Pincha/Headstand stuff.

Mysore was nice... My Wednesday practice was awesome... I was so into it that at the end, waiting for assisted drop backs, I had to wait a really long time... I seemingly got done at the same time as everyone else... so after waiting about 10 minutes, my teacher walked over after helping about 4 people with "tick tocks" and said "Well, since you waited so long, today you do." This was scarier than anything else... I questioned him "Me? Are you sure?" And then I proceeded to basically talk through the whole thing laughing... I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I haven't mastered hand stands on my own so the performance factor was high. I was terrified of coming over but that really wasn't too bad but I couldn't figure out how to get back up... then I almost landed on another student's head, and my weight went out of control and my teacher had to jump her not to kill her. But, after I was done, it was a lot of fun (note just fun).

The Hiking

I just love the hiking in Shasta. The altitude makes my asthma act up and I struggled greatly on a couple of hikes mostly the last hike up to the meadow where I actually had some wheezing (and panic). My favorite hike was the same as last year... the hot springs.. but I loved the cold creek water more this year and stayed in for a long time... listening to girls talk... watching the little girls take a river safari... just standing in the space of time and being.

The Community

This year's group was different and the same as last year. With it being second series week, there were a lot of beautiful practices but the same laughter and lightness that I think fill our studio at home and makes it special. I met some brilliant new people but, more importantly, I got to spend time and be part of the female bonding that I so rarely get and that is so special to me.

On Being Home

The trip back from Shasta was one of reintegration. The knowledge that I had to come home to reality and face finding a job struck be full bore and I sort of retreated somewhat. I'm not sure I've come to yet. It's not that I don't have options, I do... but I haven't found the passion yet. I'm really really excited about the big software company option but I don't know even know if I'll pass the screening much less an interview so I'm trying not to get too into the idea. My heart is still sitting on a mountain wanting to be one with nature.

I got up for practice yesterday at 6am... to find my first moon since I stopped the hormones had started. The day before, on Sunday, after practice, I was so out of it, I slept half the day and felt light headed the other half. I attributed this to a hard sweaty practice but, it turns out, it was probably hormonal. I spent yesterday feeling like my head might explode and wondering if I'd done the wrong thing by getting off them. I feel better, I've already lost some of the weight, but if that is what I have to go through every month, I've got to find something else to help me. Today I feel much better and so I went to a 9am practice (bad lady, yes I know... but I have to keep the momentum going.. I have to)... the room was so very sweaty. It is probably the most I've sweated in years. I had a lovely practice where I felt like things were slowly coming back to normal... slowly... and then I stood up from a backbend to find my teacher in front of me... today.. tick tock...

My first two tries were horrendous.. I was so tired and my mat so slippery I had no traction with my fingers and I could barely get back over once down into the backbend. I landed with flat feet and I had no push.. on the third try I landed with the balls of my feet and managed to feel somewhat like I was helping to get back over... I got a better in the very least. I like the stand ups more.. they are easier.. but on the last one instead of coming into a backbend, I melted down to the floor, completely spent.

When I left practice, my kids, waiting in the dressing room with their laptop, said "Mom, did you take a shower in there?"

:)