So today was my last day "at the job." The "others" who own the company did not call or email me. Not a single "Hey thanks for a great job and busting your ass for the past year..." nope.. their attitude is apparently that I should be grateful to have been in their presence at all and a host of adjectives about my personality. The ones I've heard to date are:

I'm volatile
I'm confrontational
I'm unstable
I'm mean
I'm a bitch

What's funny about these statements is that I can't think of a single person in my life, not professionally or personally, who would agree with these statements. From a professional perspective, I don't know a single ex-boss that I'm not still in contact with (even 18 years later!) and that wouldn't hire me back immediately. Isn't it strange how one individual can have such a twisted view of you that even you can't see the reflection in the mirror?

I mean that when I hear someone say things like this about me, I try to look at my actions and patterns and see where the perception came from but I'm truly failing. True, I'm not the fuzzy warm person in the office. I expect a certain level of professionalism and I expect that you will get the job done you say you are going to get done. I may be a bit anal retentive and I have super high standards but I don't dick around with not telling it like it is. I freely admit up front that I have high standards and that I expect to hear a really good reason why quality and service can't be hit spot on.

Yesterday one of the people who implemented my designs and I talked and I said "Oh I heard you thought I was scary." He told me YOU ARE! He also told me it's a good thing.. that I'm frank and honest and I don't play the bullshit game. So, I'm not sure I like the scary adjective but I think I get the sense with which it was used :)

So, it's all done now... I was given my two weeks notice and then never heard a single word more. No exit interview, no termination email just plain nothing. It has sorta left me feeling like I'm in some wierd state of flux ... but the date is here and gone and so I am unemployed.

I wonder if I can collect unemployment.

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The Daughter and I leave tomorrow for Shasta. I was really looking forward to the trip but now reality has set in.

- I weigh at least 10-15 pounds more than I should.
- I'm out of shape.
- I haven't done second series in a month.
- I have this wierd pain in my incision area (or the stapled area) that is causing headstands and anything using stabilization muscles to be super uncomfortable (strangely backbends are making it feel really good).

On the other hand, I'm going to forget about the performance of yoga (as best I can) and focus on just relaxing as much as possible (not easiest thing when you don't have a job to come back to)... so what if I can't do pasasana (and it's second series week)... I can climb up a mountain.

Jaya Hanuman