So I had a moment day of recognition. It wasn't like a lightening bolt or anything. No magical voice of God... Just like a profound, well, okay feeling.

I have decided that my new goal, above all other things, is to smile throughout my day. Just smile. I practiced all evening. I smiled when I was doing my 10th sun salutation, I smiled when I was doing kapotasana, I smiled when I was desperately trying to get my right leg behind my head and then I smiled bigger when, on the left side, my teacher says "Oh, easy side!"

I realized through all those smiles, how much my yoga reflects my life. The truth is, I love all those things. I love doing kapotasana as much as it freaks the hell out of me. What I haven't been doing is remembering the joy of just being to do. I don't know if that makes sense. It isn't necessarily that it changes the enjoyment of the pose but, rather, the enjoyment that the pose even exists in my world.

I think I found a sense of deep personal love today. I've been so freaked out whether this is right or that is right or this is wrong or just wondering what will happen tomorrow and how to do tomorrow that I haven't focus on just being here today. I know I mentioned it yesterday and I think, in truth, the catalyst has been coming for awhile now... today I feel like someone just pounded the 2x4 into my head and Oh Yea, those were the words, this is the action.

In fact, I'm smiling right now.

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Intro to Second tonight. I am so weak. It will come. When I find the discipline.

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Practice and all is coming.