Wow. This was my longest trip to Seattle yet. I made a long trip because my next trip home will be my longest without coming up and we have a huge and risk-filled deployment in the time I will be home. Last week I practiced here in the house with the heater turned way up. I had some great practices including the Dwi Pada event... but, sadly, pushing myself was stupid because I've seen the return of the right hip, deep pain I used to get last year that took about 6 months to overcome. Practice with patience and awareness... and the practice is the teacher.

Last weekend I did something I've never done... I went off trail hiking... and it was challenging. First I went to this cool little town called Hood River. I really dug the town.. a good mix of modern day convenience, artist flavor and true hippy crunchy granola transplants. After spending the night in a basement room of a hotel, we went hiking up in Ainsworth (I think that was the name). Essentially, parked the car on the side of the road, put the packs and shoes on, climbed the side of a hill, listened for water, climbed down the embankment to the gorge and hiked up... The terrain changed constantly. At one time sheer rock embankment where the rocks were so unsteady, you placed your foot and knew you had to be off that rock before it slid within milliseconds. The next terrain might be some tree branches, piddled with thorn branches that could or could not hold the pressure of some of your weight while finding the maze through. I don't think a human saw that gorge for at least 10 years (the last time my hiking partner was there). It was an "all fours" hike that used every muscle in my body and demonstrated just how out of shape I am. I used tree roots to climb walls, skipped rocks, fell a few times, slipped boulders down my arm, over my leg... but it was fun. It was much more mentally challenging than a regular hike and more engaging.

Most interesting was dealing with my lung issues. Whenever I hike in altitude my lungs react in a semi-asthmatic way. The first 1/2 hour is the hardest as my lungs try to expand to the exertion and the incline. About 15 minutes up and I was really struggling, nose starting to run, unable to breathe... my hiking partner dropped everything and literally ran all the way back to the car to get some marij. I was confused. I thought "Why would this help?" In the end I was stunned. Not inhaling enough to affect me but enough that my lungs completely opened and for 7 hours of hiking I never once felt affected. I've never been able to hike without that issue so this was very much a wow factor for me.

Our goal was to make it to the top of the gorge, into the bowl between mountains and then up a third incline to a "fort" that some people made up there 12 years ago. We got within 10 minutes of the bowl but didn't make it past nature's road blocks... 10 years of overgrowth and a tree that fell over the gorge.

This is at the top of the gorge... having a little break. The dumbest thing I did was wear Prana pants that weren't full length. Those prickly branches would wrap themselves around my legs and hang on... 2" of my legs are covered with small cuts and a couple boulders that I slid up against caused some bleeding. The descent was far harder than the ascent. Traversing overgrown forest, sometimes over fern growth where your feet literally couldn't find ground. My right knee was compensating for something else and each foot print I noticed the strain either there or in the ankle that twisted to account for the instability of the ground.

It was challenging... and fun... and special... and something I hope to do again.

Even though I couldn't walk for about 4 days... pure quad burn. I finally practiced yesterday to get some stretch in and it felt awesome.

In the picture you can see the color of my hair. Last week it was MUCH more purple... but the purple has given way to a reddish highlight. The darker color suits me much better. But this picture trips me out... I think it looks absolutely nothing like me. I look at it and I just don't see me at all. A few people who have seen it have had remarkable comments about it. One person in particular who talked about the look in my eyes couldn't have been more right especially given the moment it was taken.... but, interestingly enough, even knowing that, I simply don't see me in this picture. It's like it is a picture of someone else completely.

Since the hike I've had some personal challenges. I had a mental bit of breakdown that demonstrated how I'm living in fear. Fear of so many things but really allowing it to get the better of me. I have one major, major step to make... I can't decide if that step is the ascent or descent on the next journey and I'm afraid of what happens next. I have to make it anyway... so the fear can dissipate.