There was a lot of jesting going on in practice today. All in good fun, laughs and light heartedness. I don't mind those practices sometimes. I've been feeling really good - last night I thought I felt the inkling of being sick again... I was finding the anger bubbling up but I feel absolutely fine today so who knows... fear speaking.

I am still really trying to lift between sides (unsuccessful but the effort is there) and focus more on jumping up rather than through. I have a really hard time with this action. Practice, practice, practice. I didn't hesitate for second today... and I've stopped using anything under my heels for Pasasana. I can't get my feet flat and I'm not sure I ever will again, the pull through my side is too great but I can bind and twist and, for some reason, I just don't want something under my heels. My teacher has helped me a couple days in a row now with Krounchasana. I've only had an adjustment in this pose a couple times. My hamstrings are rather tight so it feels very nice but it is an odd sensation.

I've really gotten to the bottom of the surgical woes. It is the exact spot where they "stapled" me. I don't think I have a metal staple there but I do have "something" that is called a "staple" and it is that exact spot, where the skin indents from it, that hurts me. If I smash myself in a forward bend, it is that spot. If I'm attempting Bakasana or a handstand or headstand, that's the spot. If I pull both arms over my head and attempt to drop back, that's the spot. Now, this is the spot that was stapled because after Surgery #2, my breasts were falling way off to the side and, in case you weren't an ample blog reader back then or have forgotten, for a period of about a year I could NOT lay on my back. Not to sleep, read a book, watch TV or sunbathe. If I laid on my back, my breasts would fall so far to the side that the weight of the implant was so heavy that the skin stretched so much that I couldn't handle it. So, in Surgery #3, the stapled the sides "shut" or something so that my breasts have very little movement to them. This fixed that issue but has left this apparently issue. The stapling reduced my ability to fully move that side. I am going to email my doctor because I am unsure if I could damage something in there if I push it harder. Can the "stapling" undo.. because frankly, until you can't lay on your back, you'll never know how important being on your back can be (get your mind out of the gutter people although that was a problem too). I'm gonna have to say I'll take the limitations in yoga if it means I have to live with it to maintain what I've got going on.

During Supta Vajrasana, my teacher and I were having a discussion about Mt. Shasta. He asked me what week I was going and I told him I would be there for second series. He said good... I said eh, not so sure... (you see I didn't choose that week, it was handed to me :)). After Bakasana A, I did a bunch of attempts at Bakasana B. I can actually "land" on my elbows now but I cannot hold it. I held it for about a second today before sliding down. When I was tired and done.. my teacher said "one more" and I totally whined "ONE MORE? Really?" The response "What the next two are easy!" It took me a good 30 seconds to realize that he meant one more pose. "In preparation for Shasta" Normally, in our studio, when given one more, you say the name of the pose. I had to reach out say "Uh, I don't even know the next pose 'cause I never thought I'd move past Bakasana B." hahahahahaha He gave it to me nonetheless. I feel unworthy but ignited nonetheless.