Finally flew home from Seattle. It's a really wierd experience to "live" in two places essentially. I feel nearly homeless and I think that is one of the reasons I feel so much chaos. There is no home base. No matter which place I'm in, a suitcase is nearby. I've gone ahead and purchased two sets of toiletries, left a yoga mat and essentials in Seattle, even left shoes and some clothes there now... but it isnt' the same. It isn't my house, my environment. I can't hang a picture up or move a chair to a new location, you know. When I am home, the "come down" lasts a few days, just to get situated again.

The flight last night was one of the more bumpy ones I've been on ever. I spent some time listening to sanskrit chanting and then I watched 4 episodes of The Soup. This was a big mistake because The Soup is hilarious and there were two moments where, I couldn't help myself, I actually laughed out loud. Sitting in first class, the people next to me looked at me like some rinky dink insane, tattoo'd freak laughing to herself :)

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The other problem with this whole Seattle thing is the fact that, when I'm there, I work in an office full time. Hands down everyone in my office last week was sick. Three people at the Rhino Flu, two people were just really sick and everyone else was either coming or going with it.... and, so, the telltale scratchy throat, burning eyes and headache that started yesterday around 3 did not make me a happy girl. It hasn't gotten worse (which makes me hope it isn't the flu) but it hasn't gotten better either.

Work is really the most chaotic thing in my life. It seems easy to figure out but it really just isn't. There are so many factors. The experience I can gain, the freedom and independence, the work product itself, etc. The money factor - I could be making more, should I worry about that? Is the equity worth it, could it ever make a difference in my life? All these questions have me spinning... and last week I thought I finally hit rock bottom and that I had "let go" of the control issues surrounding making this decision (if there is one to make)... and, yet, today it has reared it's ugly again. I feel a great sense of unease with where I'm at... but no real drive to change it for many, many reasons and those reasons are vastly laziness I think.

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No yoga... I want to be well.. and then I've told myself I will do sun salutations and finishing for 3 days... and then I will do half first and hten I will do a week or more of just first... and maybe someday I'll be ready to face second.... Kapotasana seems, literally, forever away. I did however watch this cool Bakasana instructional video today on YouTube which I found from V's link to Kino McGregor. I'm gonna try it as soon as I have some strength.... and the sore throat goes away.

Back to bed... and my tea...