This morning I went to The Daughter's basketball game. It was awesome. I've never yelled so loud at one of my kid's sports. They got zonked 8 - 0 but it was a great game. The Daughter made a killer block (remember these are first graders) and came close on a few baskets. The ref was great.. he didn't call all the traveling he'd whisper "dribble" once each time and then call them if it went on. The Daughter's tall but she doesn't have that competitive streak I see in other kids. Her brother doesn't have it either. And the competitive streak is not bad... it's the drive to be better, the one that pushes you to keep on trying. We have to up the stakes for ourselves. If we don't, we sit in comfort, silent or not. At least, for me, that's what gets me up the next morning. This has nothing to do with yoga or asana. It has to do with just being human. What she does have is fun and that's the other half of the equation.

I'm making some pretty tough big changes in my life right now. I'm so isolated that it's really easy to feel very alone. It's not that I don't have wonderful people who want to spend time with me and be my friend... it's that I'm never freakin' home to do anything. When I am home, it is all about the kids because of the big changes from last year.. it's hard enough to do as it is. I'm feeling very out of control and chaotic. The easy road feels all wrong and the hard road seems like a different reality. The hard road feels like the right choice but the challenge seems like Bakasana B. So tonight I decided I had to stop whining and just step up to the plate and do it. I had a conversation last night with someone at work where I explained that's what I want everyone at the office to do... so I should do it too.

I spent about 20 minutes tonight trying to find the "place" in Bakasana B. I discovered that it's really important not to cheat and lift one foot and then the other. I still don't feel comfortable in it but I maybe got a glimpse of somewhere.

I was supposed to be going to dinner with this yogi that I know... We've been trying to go out to dinner for about 6 months now. That's my social life. That's it in a nutshell. Sadly I discovered that I have almost more a social life in Seattle. I have two sets of friends, JumpsThruSomeday and then The Sarcastic Brit from MSFT and Mr. Racecar Driver with his Faster Than Him Wife. I go out to dinner usually with someone while I am in town. I won't be going out to dinner with any one until I get a new phone. I just found out I have voice mails from YESTERDAY... the stupid thing never notifies me when I have voice mail... so I just think no one has called me. Inevitably people end up txting me now.. it's often the only way to reach me because, for whatever, reason, txting works better on my phone than the phone. Friday, a client told me I have the worst phone he's ever heard.

So I'm getting an iPhone from work tomorrow. I'm not confident that I'll be a convert so it will be an interesting test. Maybe THEN I'll know when people call me... somehow I doubt that will help my social life but at least I won't feel like a schmuck.