Practice today: heavy, lazy, tired, no drive, no desire to perform, tight hips, weak biceps, even weaker wrists... what's a bandha? Do I have them? Will I ever have one? Not if my ass stays this huge.. well there's a great yogic thought.. inhale... why am I here.. oh yea, I like this... okay wait that feels great... repeat every half hour but manage to breathe at some point in between.

I have seriously debated asking my teacher if I should start back at the beginning. I don't feel qualified to be doing any of second but, I would actually miss it. I love the back bending and I'm finally starting to feel the legs and the heart opening. So I won't ask.. because I'd be terrified he'd agree.

New Year's Even is upon us. I keep getting asked what my plans are... I don't have one. I will hope for yoga in the morning (regardless of how much I am dreading it). We are planning on making our own pizzas with fresh dough. I am going to make a classic garlic and basil one while the kids cook plain cheese. Along with that I'm going to make fresh pomegranate vinargrette with red leafed greens. I will have an hour to myself in the late evening so I might go to a yogi gathering... or maybe I'll get a movie... or have a glass of chilled wine from my new wine fridge.

I got in a discussion today with a girlfriend about backbending not being about the back. It has taken me a long time to feel backbends in my quads rather than in my lower back. I very often don't think of my "back" anymore... only about the stretch through the lower half of my body... trying to slightly move up the spine one backbend at a time... I remember my teacher telling me "No legs!"

-----------------------------------------------------

So YogaMum blog blessed me. She called me an inspiration.

The words confuse me. I mean, I feel like I really like who I am and what I am about... but I sure don't feel like anyone's inspiration. I feel like a big huge confused all the way Down In It individual.

When I think about blessings though... I think of abundance and that leads me to the first Blog Blessing who introduced me to that word recently. I mean, sure, I knew the word but I didn't really stop and think about what that means. In Shasta, JM used that word a lot... and has since... whether it is the tone of voice or the inspiration of someone living their life on their own unique path, no holds barred, balls to the wall... whatever, I truly understood the word abudance. I just found out tonight that Shasta is on this year. So I'm very ready to find the path of appreciating abundance and slowing down a little bit before August comes.

So I have abundance in life... in so many ways. Confused and abundant isn't half bad.

My next blessing lands on OKRGR. I saw OKRGR at practice this morning and something about his energy has changed. I see this often with long time practitioners... maybe a sort of "giving in" (I know don't squirm OKRGR).

The bloggin’ blessing was started by Ukok, who explains:

The idea… it’s a game of tag with a difference, rather than looking inwardly, we look outside ourselves and bless, praise and pray for one blog friend. By participating in this endeavour we not only make the recipient of the blessing feel valued and appreciated, but we are having some fun too. We’re going to see how far the bloggin’ blessings can travel around the world and how many people can be blessed! Recipients of a bloggin’ blessing may upload the above image to their sidebar if they choose to. If you receive a bloggin’ blessin’ please leave a comment on this thread here so that we can rejoice in just how many blessings have been sent around the world!