I finally get it. I get it. I GET IT. I'm so stoked.

If you are a long time reader of this blog you'll know that for years now I've struggled with the concept of friendship.

How do you make friends?
How do you be a friend?
How do you keep friends?

In particular I've struggled with how to make, be and keep girlfriends. I have repeatedly "failed" in this regard. I have repeatedly struggling with the emotional nature of female relationships and I've repeatedly struggled with what I'll term "drama."

Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends that are female but I think it has finally sunk in that my karma in life is not and, more illuminating, should not be to have a gaggle of friends. What I like in my friends is the ability to just say what it is. I don't have a very good filter. I know some people don't buy it but those of you who have known me deepest and longest in life will recognize the person who really just isn't good socially. It's harder for the people who have known me just recently in my life. I've spent a lot of energy and practice at being able to talk to people (which has helped me become really good with client interaction and the soft skills required in a business environment). There was a time when talking to people was simply way too much for me. I squirmed in discomfort at the energetic interaction just being in a room with a group of people.

I've also spent a lot of time and energy exposing myself. Learning to open up and not just close the petals and run the other direction when someone asks me personal questions.

The problem is, I'm not very good in the middle. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm black and white... as Virgo as they come.

I've had the revelation over the course of the past 24 hours that you simply can't be like that with the majority of people in this world. You can't. It doesn't work. So I've decided to say screw this endeavor to be friends with people. When the moment hits and it isn't hard or dramatic then that's the person to be friends with. Protect your instincts, protect yourself in the beginning and let people show you their true nature before you open the flood gates. Watch, listen... be wary.

And if there is one more he said, she said, I said conversation in my life I think I might give up and move to a mountain top somewhere like a hermit. Which, in reality, doesn't live half bad.

Do hermits get to bring yoga mats?

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The Son's surgery was tough. It just flat out sucks to be your kid given drugs. I don't think even fathers can understand the feeling because it is this innate feeling in your stomach that I think exists only because this being actually lived and grew within you. The Son was so scared. So very scared :( He refused the gas because he was afraid of it. We tried to convince him that it would be better but he wouldn't do it... and, so, he got an IV sober. It wasn't pretty. When his eyes started going all funky I simply couldn't take it anymore.

A short time in the waiting room later we heard him scream DAD! WGD and I jumped out of our seats and proceeded to the room but they stopped us... talk about a moment of wanting to say screw it. Telling me I can't go to my screaming child. It was only a split second in reality when the doctor called us back. He was so out of it. It was scary to see actually. He had no idea the surgery was over and we couldn't convince him until finally he said if it is over then give me my tooth... which we produced and then he couldn't believe he had been asleep. He swore he had just closed his eyes.

The nurse leaned over after a bit and asked WGD if he was going to carry him out or should he get the wheelchair. The Son slurs, "My parents aren't carrying me out of here. I'm going in the wheelchair." At least on drugs he hasn't lost his powerful independence.

Yesterday he did pretty well. WGD and The Daughter are off on an Indian Princesses trip so it is The Son and I hanging out in recovery. Nothing but soft foods and Tylenol with codeine. He didn't need it yesterday but today his face is really swollen... really swollen... and around 5 he started crying from the pain. He finally fell asleep after we watching the first two episodes of Star Wars and theorized over the color of light sabers.