I have almost forgotten the absolute joy I feel when I slip into a big huge bathtub, full of bubbles, with music and a glass of wine. The meditation can be magic. I always find things I'm thinking about in there. Baths rock.

Tonight I realized that The Husband's new name is WGD, World's Greatest Dad. Seriously, he's an amazing dad. It is the single most important thing to him in his life and he does it really, really, really well. Better than anyone I know.

The Kids still believe in The Candy Fairy. I couldn't quite figure out The Son after he found out so lamely about Santa Clause this past Yule... did he really believe still or was he just playing along? He announced a few days ago that he was not going to write a letter to the Candy Fairy this year because if indeed she existed, she could hear what he says in his mind. Otherwise, he said, it was me.

Of course, he did exclaim over the $100 Lego Star Wars something big and huge thousands of pieces or other thingy (which the Candy Fairy made mental note of) before we left Target the other day.

After running some errands, I pulled into the garage and purposefully took the Scythe that was The Son's costume prop into the house. I knew the Candy Fairy was likely to stash her goods there, you see. Apparently, when I wasn't looking WGD put it away.. so The Son, of course, went to look in the car....... where he found the $100 Lego Stars something big and huge thousands of pieces or other thingy.

I knew the minute he came in the door. He was smiling but his eyes were watering up. I realized what happened and, I admit, scathed at WGD for putting it away when I purposefully left it laying there so The Son would see it and not look in the car. The Son said "Mom, I'm growing up, these are the things I am going to learn." But I could tell... his eyes were red... we mentioned not telling his sister, well, sorta motioned with my eyes as she walked in the room.

He let her believe... and then we talked to him about belief. He said he wants to believe andWGD explained to him that it is all about belief. Belief in the spirit. We explained too how important it is to let the little kids believe until they are old enough to believe within.

I still feel bad for blowing it. :( It's never fun to see the innocence leaving your child... and, on the other hand, the growing up and the understanding and sharing the bigger concepts is so amazing. The crux of all parents, eh, 7th series --- (all I'm practicing these days) --- you want to keep them just where they are all the time and, yet, you love that you can't.

No yoga on the horizon. I can't believe the place I'm in... I just can't believe it. But it is what it is. When I practice I am not thankful enough. I will be keeping this in mind when I find the mat next time.

The Son has to have oral surgery on Friday. He is very scared. He said tonight "What difference does it make if The Candy Fairy brings me what I want (this was pre finding out), I'll be dead anyway." We are opting to have him under general. I don't really want to do it but he is so freaked out by the idea and has been for years (the lapse of judgment the dentist had when he was 5 and told us in front of him that he had an extra tooth which would require oral surgery), that I think we have to. The other option will leave him paralyzed in fear. It's really hard to play with the notion of your child having surgery. I know I have to face it and I know it shouldn't be a "big deal" but, you know, it's that thing about them having grown inside you that keeps coming up :)

Tonight I found one of those little things... those little things you tell yourself for years you are going to do but never do... stop biting your nails, stop this or stop speeding or stop that... It's a good one too. I can remember thinking about it when I was in my 20s. I've never given it a shot (unlike biting my nails or speeding) so I'm gonna try it. I can't or don't want to talk about it... but it's a good one. If I work it out, I'll feel like I've crested some plateau within.