The Vortex is that place where nothing is quite right. The body sucks physically. The mind is doing it's best Hanuman interpretation and the soul is simply on it's edge of glimmer within. It's The Vortex because you just have no idea what is going on. Mercury in Retrograde is the best answer I can come up with.

And there's like no space either... just sorta completely locked into The Vortex. The mat sounds like the best place on the planet if only I could make it there. I'm sure I will... in what shape I don't know... but I'll find it.

In the meantime, who decided Samhain was 2 days away? There was a time when I would have decorated our house, invited 10 friends over to have a huge ancestor feast... made little individual pumpkin pies or some special good soup. I would get pictures of passed away family members and we would tell the kids stories of where they came from.

What happened to me? I keep telling myself that this is temporary. It's just for now... for a couple years and what is two years in the scheme of life itself? Really? When The Kids hit jr. high, I could be home full time or, in the very most, working as little contract as I wanted to keep my mind busy. I could be that mom I see at the studio everyday. Always drops her kids off in the morning and makes Mysore 5 days a week. I have to keep convincing myself everyday that that payoff is worth it and, more importantly, continue to assess the likelihood of it actually happening.

The Vortex. It isn't for the faint of heart.

Today's Rumi:

move outside
the tangle
of fear - thinking.

Flow down and down
in always
widening rings
of Being.