When my alarm went off this morning I nearly didn't get up. I figured I had to start somewhere with my practice though and so I promised myself "First Series only, it will suck, you will be tight, it will not be pleasant but it is called DISCIPLINE and you used to have it."

Driving to the studio I recited the "Discipline" mantra and talked to the only person I know up at 6:30 in the morning :) As I walked into the studio I got a super uplifting txt message about having a good practice... and so, I did.

Even the first sun salutation just felt, well, normal. No drama. Practice, practice... normal, normal... finished first and thought, well, whatever, I feel normal, we'll just do the whole thing. The first part of second felt awesome. My back felt really good. Then came Kapotasana.

Oh Kapotasana...someday I will not fear you any longer. I did it once, getting my hands halfway up my feet. When I came up The Australian came to help me. He put my left hand on my heel and I completely froze and lost it. It's not that when he put it there it hurt or anything it's just that I COULD FEEL MY HEEL. I know, *GASP*, there's a heel there? So I whimpered and said no no no and put my head down and he said "You aren't enjoying this then?" I mumbled no no no. I didn't even come up properly. My teacher said "That was a nice dramatic attempt." I considered doing it again but just laid there looking at the stars behind my eyes.

When The Aussie came back for Supta V, I told him that I just didn't understand my freak out. He said that he easily got my hand to my heel (and that was the hard side even) and I just panicked. I said yes, I know... pure panic. Why do I panic here? The Aussie told me that sometimes it just takes people awhile to get used to the idea of grabbing the heels. In my case, it seems to be taking a really long time.

I finished my practice with Bakasana A, as usual. I'm able to jump back with both feet in land in plank. I can't land directly into chatarunga and I've sorta given up trying to. My pects just won't engage enough to stabilize me coming down. This is due to the fact that they were cut in half and I've just sorta accepted that is the case for now. I laid down for backbends.. taking a short break when my teacher and I have the following conversation:

Teacher: Bakasana B? You did?
Me: No
Teacher: No?
Me: No, I don't do Bakasana B
Teacher: You don't?
Me: No, you've never given me Bakasana B so I don't do it.
Teacher: I haven't?
Me: No
Teacher: Well, today then, Bakasana B
Me: Didn't I tell you I didn't want this pose?
Teacher: Today, then, Bakasana B.

And so, my friends, I attempted Bakasana B. No, I didn't succeed... my ass is far too heavy for that success but I suppose eventually I will figure it out. Like all other things. It just takes time and practice... and discipline.