Work has been slightly unreal. I think I'm not too good at this billable stuff. Let's face it, to bill eight hours in one day, you have to be working *at least* 10 because there's no doubt that one has to take a phone call, check the email, go pee or ingest food at some point between 9 and 5. I feel more like a machine and that sorta sucks. It's not that I don't want to work hard because I think I do but... well, I guess I'm still working out the ropes.

I haven't felt like I did a good job this past week actually. The task I was given to do for a very visible project was one I hadn't touched before (remember, I deal in beta code...everything is new) so I had to teach it to myself before finding out that it couldn't meet the project's goals... so then I had to teach myself another tool I'd never used before. When you're learning and doing, you're only slightly ahead of the curve because most of your creative juices swirl around just learning how to make it say "Hello World." I thought my outcome came out dull and lifeless an really simplistic. Like any high school AP C# geek boy (come on, I can say that, I was one too) could have done it.

Tomorrow is my first face in front of a client. Believe it or not, a pharma company. If you haven't been reading my blog for years you won't know that I used to, back in my very "I'm a raw foodist, non-vaccinating, no-Western Medicine, no sugar, no plastic toys, no hospital births (what as the rest of that list that existed back then..you know the one to get into the secret club? Now we'll see if any of you AMUers still read ;>)" .... anyway, in those days, I did a lot of pharamceutical company ranting. Now I'm really excited to get in front of one. I know how to solve their business problem. I'm really good at it (even if I think I take to long to do it... no one else thinks that... just me... sorta like thinking I'm a big heavy clod in Mysore).

I heard today, though, some interesting news about my job. In particular my title. It might make a big difference in some of my completely in ability to grasp the billable contractor role. :)

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I got an email from The Best Doctor In The World. He told me for sure I can start back in two more weeks. His caveat in italicized was "very very slowly."

Here's my problem... I often cannot grasp the "Take It Slowly" role either. I have tentatively told myself that I will only do half of first for at least a week. Then maybe all of first... then we'll see how I feel about Pasasana. I think Pasasana is going to be really hard this time around. In fact, I feel worse "stretch" and strength wise than I did after the original surgery. Lifting my hands straight above my head is still a noticeable, oh... there's that. God, will I even have the discipline to get up in the morning.

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In the adventures of It's A Small World. Today I got an email from "Meesh" at MySpace. I usually delete those notifications unless I clearly know the person and I didn't know this person but I know some Michelle's so I thought I'd look. The email is from this girl that I worked with at The Law Firm and that was the stakeholder in the project I had been working on for the past months there. Turns out she knows Cameron of all things! Nope, she doesn't do yoga. Nope, she lives in L.A., he in S.F. We didn't know each other outside of work so I knew nothing about her past... how bizarre is that!? She went to visit his MySpace, saw my picture and emailed me. Is anyone thinking about the dancing little guys on the ride? The line is always too long so I haven't been on it in years.

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I have officially bitten all of my nails off. They are actually painful. I have no idea why I do this. I have stopped for long periods of time, had long nails...but when worse comes to shove, it's my nails that go first. It's embarrassing actually but I think I've tried it all.

Well, maybe not hypnosis.