So I'm already failing on my attempt to take a picture a day. It's 9:47 and I haven't thought of a picture for today... so, in an effort to not make some stupid ass attempt at taking one or just choosing someone else's, I'm just not going to put a picture up. *GASP*

In other news, Hello Mr. Boss... I'm pretty sure I royally screwed myself earlier today when I forwarded an email to my boss. The email was sent from my ashtangi dot net address and, as a result, I'm sure my boss, who is no dumb ass, will have followed the link and, therefore, found my blog. So, in an effort to not be one of those blog cases, I'm simply gonna say, yep, here I am. I talk mostly about yoga so it will bore the shit out of you but there's a couple cool people you know who read here ;> (I'd link them but I have no idea how they'd feel about that).

Speaking of yoga. The more I thought about last night, the prouder I am. I am so proud that I actually have the mindfulness to understand when I'm about to lose it. To sense and know and feel the emotions as part seer. That's the magical golden nugget of yoga and, likely, of most spiritual practice. I still feel like a stupid high schooler for leaving as I did but, I'm also quite proud that I saw what was happening and was able to avoid something worse.

In stark contrast to The Lady Who Could Care Less from yesterday, tonight my neighbor came over and talked to me. She told me that she's received phone calls from other neighbors asking why they didn't know I'd had another surgery and why there was no "meal train" setup. The Good Neighbor said that she wasn't sure but that I didn't seem receptive to the idea. So she asked me why... and I broke down in tears as I told her that I was having a really hard time accepting help from people, that I feel like I've asked so much from everyone for the last year. Shit, I don't think I could ever ask KJS to like do anything for me... This was such an honest conversation and she told me her thoughts and she told me that I was an inspiration to her and to the other women on this street and that we don't live here for the houses or the funkiness or the vision that this is where we really want to live forever... we live here because our kids are growing together and our way of helping each other is to do things like cook dinner when babies are born or people are going through a rough time.. it's what we do. It really made me stop and think about how much I can't allow myself to accept help or compliments or people picking up their half of the tab. Some deep seated something that I have to figure out.

I am leaving for Florida on Sunday... I am actually and quite literally having pangs about not taking my yoga mat. It's like I feel like it's my favorite pillow... what if I feel like trying yoga while I'm gone or what if suddenly The Best Doctor In The World tells me I can practice. Silly... 'cause the best thing I could do would be to be in Florida and not practice... give myself another week to rest and make sure things are settled. I think I can actually do it because we all know there will be plenty of freaking chances to get wasted enough that one forgets... that's what these conferences are, right... social events mainly with some knowledge transfer in between. I've never really done the whole social circuit thing. I have an invitation to every main party this year, I swear. Including our own CIODude's wine tasting (though he owned up to giving his own staff a taste test to determine the winning wine(s).. he should have just asked me!) with one of our larger vendors. Can I really leave my yoga mat behind?

I think I can, I think I can.. I think I can.