I tried my new ritual again this morning. I got up at 5am, made some Yerba Mate (skipped the Motrin), worked a bit and then went to practice. I can really tell a difference those first few minutes on the mat. I no longer feel like "OMG I have to get my hamstrings warmed up." My body feels ready for practice.

Practice was a bit wierd today.... some of the teacher trainees were adjusting which made for a "crowded" room but it wasn't really crowded so I'm not sure where I got that feeling from. It could be that I was on the other side of the room than I normally am... my spot was taken... and all of us Ashtangis know how we are about our spot. So practice was going along well. I take special note now to determine if my upward dogs feel stiff like wood or relatively supple.. I'm hardly "bendy" so I mean that my lower back feels open enough to have some arch. I got a nice adjustment in Dwi Pada but my feel fell off my head and I couldn't get them back... then I got a second adjustment by The Australian in Dwi Pada so that I could keep my feet there.

Kapotasana.... kapotasana... how I love thee kapotasana (or so I try to convince myself). The Australian came to help me... I said "Are you ready?" He said "Am I ready.. are you ready is the question?" Down I go, grunt, freak out... please don't move my hands more... please please please please... shake head... no no more no more... Come up... ask The Australian WHAT can I do to help myself... in the midst of this Tim comes by and says "She's a winger, must be British." To which I respond "What's a winger" (I think that's the word he used)... he says "A complainer." I say "YEP that's me!" So we go through about 3 iterations of dropping back into it... really pushing through the chest, Kiran telling me "Move your head to your butt" -- me uttering through constrained breath "I AM!" :) I could really feel what he was trying to get me to do but I just couldn't do it... I couldn't pull it off... by the time we were done with all this experimentation I flat out just had nothing left... I came up... sat down and thought "I'm wiped out!" My core hurt, my quads hurt... my back hurt. I was sorta blacked out sitting there, my mind was somewhere else... when I hear Tim say "Today, Julie?" I'm thinking "WHAT!? no way..can't do it again." So, in a totally childish, whining (or winger) voice I say "I just did it 3 times!" I can't begin to say how embarrassed I was when he said "Today Supta Vajrasana." It took about 20 seconds for me to process what he said so he expounded "Jump back first."

My core was so strung out that I literally COULD NOT jump back... and I couldn't jump to my hands... I was just beat. So I did Supta Vajrasana. Tim helped me setup... he said he was going to "make my feet bigger" to which Kiran said that my feet were pretty big. This brought up how big my feet really are. Tim says "Size 10?" I say "No 11!" "11!!!!" I couldn't keep hold of my toes going back though... no matter how long he made my feet.. .backbends..stand ups... on one dropback I tried really hard to push through my chest and see the ground without bending my knees first... and then BAM I fell on my knees. Kiran said "Hey, at least you saved your head!" Something to be proud of.

After practice some of the people who heard the Supta Vajrasana exchange made note of it... it was quite funny... I was a silly child about it. It's also quite entertaining that, once again, a new pose was given to me when I very least expected it. I wasn't even thinking when he said it that he was giving me a new pose. I got in the car to leave and I thought "OH no!!!! Bakasana is next...." Bakasana is next... Bakasana is next... Which is actually a good thing because Bakasana B and the jump back from Bakasana A will likely take me a lifetime to get through :)

In the interim my lower back is KILLING ME.