The Son had his last baseball game on Saturday morning. It started at 9am. He did great. The team made a grand slam on the last batter of the season, last up... pretty cool way to finish the season. The Son, as I have mentioned before, isn't the most athletic kid but he's really come a long way. The coach keeps telling me how The Son is his star hitter... not because he slams the ball but because he is consistently the only player who can hit the ball on the first or second pitch (some kids take a WHOLE lot more pitches than that -- this is still machine pitch, next year is kid pitch with a count). The Son got his trophey and proclaimed he wouldn't play again.

I then sped up to Encinitas to see Cameron. I was hoping to get a chance to see his new ink getting needled but The Daughter had her gymnastics meet at 12:30 so I knew I wouldn't get to see it. I did get to see the new studio, 454, that my tattoo artist is now working at and see the beautiful artwork Cameron is getting but no needle down... my favorite part. My artist told me if I'm gonna do a Ganesh with a Hanuman, I have to do the tattoo bigger... the problem is, I don't have a "bigger" place on my body. Cameron and I joked with another customer that perhaps I need to go lift some weights so I can make a bigger canvas ;) I have debated putting it along my side but, I don't know, it doesn't feel right there. So I may do just the Ganesh along my right upper arm.... ink... it's addictive ;)

The Daughter's gymnastics meet was fun... the girls did a great job but most amazing was watching the team girls do their demonstration. Holy cow... I was ogling over their trivikurmasana, somakonasana and, drooling even, over the backdrops. I did note that many of them start backdrops with one foot out in front. The tumbling routines were phenomenal. The Daughter sat with her mouth open the entire time.... I think she's gonna be lit up about gymnastics for awhile.

Over the weekend I've been asked by about 5-6 parents to bring my "yoga program" to their individual elementary schools. So far on the list are three public Del Mar schools, one Del Mar private school, one La Jolla private school and one Encinitas private school. If yoga paid better, I could quit my job and make a real kid's yoga program. Unfortunately, I've got too many bills stacked up to give it a whirl. Surprising to me, the children seem to love me... I feel less than childish these days so I'm surprised but perhaps my energy is cleaner than my mind.

I forgot today was a moonday... this means that I haven't practiced in 3 days. I haven't even been stretching.... I have however been doing a lot of cartwheels and handstands (which means my backbends will probably be hell tomorrow). This afternoon we went to the beach, ran into two of The Daughter's friends from preschool. I also ran into one of the more advanced students from the studio who told me that she's doing Anusara now (and her practice is, as a result, totally different) and that she spent from age 5 doing gymnastics... well that explains the effortless handstanding and backbending I've seen her do. At some point the girls convinced me to do cartwheels and handstands... and then the Dhanurasana swing, dropbacks (for them)... It was a beautiful, relaxing day at the beach.

So the Anusara thing interests me. I hear everyone talking about Anusara. Frankly, the couple times I've done it there's just way way too much talking and wierd stuff. I like my silent practices and I like the meditational aspect of Ashtanga, the fact that it is the same sequence is where the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind lies for me. I guess I just have no desire for anything outside of Ashtanga.

I got an email today from the friend I saw when I was out to dinner the other night... she made a comment about something and said "I know you'll understand." I did. I told her to breathe... it's a gentle reminder to myself that through the chaos, I'm not alone... that this moment is all there is... breathe. We agreed to try to find some time for dinner and catch up conversation in a few weeks when school is out and the chaos of summer is a bit simpler than the chaos of the last days of school. There is much about this relationship in the older archives of this blog... I am in such a clear and warm space with regard to this person now... I feel so much love and emptiness and that's a good thing... what great timing.

In my last post I referenced a few ideas that I wanted to post about:

-- I'm over the preschool yearbook. I never have to see that woman again... preschool is done and over. It's funny, a lot of the other parents are really mourning the loss of preschool. I guess I see it as this brilliant period that is only going to get better. I love that my kids are growing up and becoming individuals. I have never mourned the baby years... it seems that's rare for a parent... or maybe it just hasn't hit me yet ;)

-- The Husband and I discussed whether either of us had a safe haven growing up... a set of parents within which to confide our fears and dreams... neither of us did. We wonder how much that stunts our individual relationships with the world and, more importantly, our ability to be married. Did we miss skills or trust that others get and we just don't see it?

-- The Husband and I also talked about friends. Friends... if you've been a long time reader of my blog you know all about my issues surrounding friends. What is interesting is that The Husband has always been immune to the need for friends... or so it has seemed. He's never had any desire or want to invest time in having friends. He's got a couple good friends in far away places that he doesn't see very often but has never put any effort into "hanging out with the boys." Awhile back, before The Daughter was born, maybe when she was still an infant, we did a lot of entertaining and then it all stopped. As I became more and more sleep deprived, lost my mind through it, we stopped making an effort and, I think, to a large degree, narrowed our social circle to nothing. In our long talk The Husband revealed to me that suddenly he's feeling the need for friendship. That perhaps he's never been emotionally stable enough to want to connect with other people and that now he feels that need. I encourage it... I think it would be good for him. I'm not sure how to help him but I suppose just supporting it is enough. What I can do is work on reconnecting with the larger social circle of being a family of four and a married couple. So this week we are going to dinner with another couple whom we've never been out with before. It is good timing... pushing me outside of my own social construct and comfort zone.

Sorry for the disconnect in this posting, not my best effort clearly... but in the writing two children have gotten put to bed, I've looked through my workflow and otherwise ran around doing all the end of the weekend, pre work Monday activitives.

Breathe... inhale... exhale... this moment... this moment, all there is.