Last night I met a good friend for dinner up in Encinitas. We ordered a lovely bottle of wine, really nice food and were having a somewhat intimate conversation about our respective marriages. This particular friend and I have no boundaries in our discussions and frequently talk about how we are essentially the same person, one born with an x chromosone, the other not. If we looked anything like each other, I'd swear we were separated at birth. We do the same thing professionally (and think the same way about our profession, our professional reputations and the prospect of the future in this market), like the same music, think the same way and can almost finish each other's sentences. We differ only in the amount of alcohol we each consume, one does yoga and one doesn't (gee can you guess which one?), we have children the same exact ages, same sexes, we've been married the exact same number of years. When you put it all down on paper, it's actually a little frightening. It's like having a twin and you were separated at birth. So we're talking at a table in the corner when suddenly an old friend comes walking up. She had been having dinner alone and heard me from across the restaurant. We had a nice talk and then I started thinking "Uhoh... I wonder what she overhead." It's not that what she overhead could have been horribly uncomfortable for me, it's just that I don't often tell people the things I'm willing to tell this particular friend. We were talking about some pretty heavy duty stuff for awhile, intermixed with work and coding... it made me feel a bit self-conscious actually.

During dinner I got wind of a big huge fiasco brewing with regard to The Daughter's preschool. One of the parents decided to make a 'yearbook' for the kids. I didn't know anything about this yearbook until I was asked to provide a quote for it. I did that. At that point I thought that it was a class project. It turns out this was a project this lady was doing and that each yearbook was going to cost $50. The Daughter is the only child in this class who is not the only child or not the oldest child. I've been through preschool before and I can honestly say a $50 yearbook just isn't worth the money to me. I have bills to pay and that isn't one I'm willing to pay. So we told them no. Then I got an email with a message that today the kids would be "signing the yearbooks." Well this made me a bit mad. If you want to have a yearbook signing, fine, do it at a time when the kids (or sole kid in this case) won't be around. This wasn't a school project. So I went to the teacher and the director of the school and asked when this yearbook signing was going to be. I explained that we weren't prepared to spend $50 on the book and that I would be removing The Daughter from school while it was going on so she wouldn't feel excluded.

Talk about an implosion... this got back to said parent and, of course, she knows it was me... she lit into my husband... she told him I was too busy with work to read my email and be a part of what is going on in school amongst a host of other insults before she apparently simply hung up on The Husband. All this while I was at dinner.

By the time I got home, it had escalated into The Husband basically rolling over and playing dead and allowing her to bully her way into saying that I must have misread because she communicated effectively. This pissed me off. The Husband has never been particularly supportive in extenuating circumstances but I did this fight primarily because I knew he would have huge issues with the $50 and then he just backed off and left me as the bad guy. I was and am pretty angry about it. It's really brought forth every single issue I have and I'm not sure I can let it go this time. The yoga girl in me says breathe and let it go... but there's a huge part of me that is sick and tired of not feeling supported and feels I deserve way better.

We haven't spoken since.

.....

Today I got to play lawyer. I'm glad I'm not a lawyer. Manipulating code is fun, manipulating big contracts is fairly boring. I am in the process of working with one of our lawyers to review and modify a software licensing agreement... and, wow, is all I can say.... wow.

Practice was going to be short and sweet today due to the overhead of work (you know the one that keeps me so busy I don't know what my kids are doing). I took a bunch of Motrin a couple hours before. I did half of first series and my second series poses. Kapotasana... man, I want to find the joy in that pose. Actually I'd just like to breathe in that pose. I stood up from backbends fairly easily today which was not so surprising given how much Motrin I took. My back will probaby lock up and cause me distress when the Motrin wears off. Can one live on Motrin? I'm really glad, however, that Kiran's noon classes are becoming consistent with practitioners. We had 3 people doing Mysore today.

My real practice today will be in having patience and opening my heart to love and peace. Actually, I probably need to find my heart first.

Now I'm down in it.