The webhost for Ashtangi.NET has had some serious issues over this weekend... with parts of Ashtangi.NET down, others working then a complete failure on all ends includng the webhost's front end. This has made me nervous and I'm contemplating moving the whole site to another webhost. That effort is extremely huge and so I have to figure out what all is involved. Ashtangi.NET has grown by leaps and bounds. I've sorta given up on adding articles and whatnot... I add what people send me. I simply don't have the time for anything greater than that. Ashtangi.NET itself hosts about half the blogs on the blogroll with the others being Blogger or some other hosted blog solution. It's a huge responsibility to have people's writings out on the Net and you are responsible for the maintenance of the space and, frankly, the blogs are enough for me right now. It's a "resource" that has grown and that people really seem to enjoy and I'm glad for that... it was my original purpose, to bring together Ashtana Bloggers. I admit to having some panic moments yesterday thinking that everything had been wiped out (which happened once before). I am making backups of everything as I type! :)

I had so many insights to write in my blog over the past days of the site being down. I can't now remember what they all were. I have this thing I do where I store up my blog post usually until evening and then I sorta do an inventory of my day... I think back through all the things that happened either on the mat or off and I think of the ways I didn't explore them while I was part of it... how I couldn't be the witness and I try to do it after the fact. From there I usually find something I want to explore further in the depths of the chaos in my mind.

We did watch two movies this weekend. Winter Passing which I would recommend, a really great little flick. Last night we watched Thumbsucker which was a twisted little movie about a teenager who still sucks his thumb.

I have also decided that Gregor's book may be one of the best references I've ever read for Ashtanga Yoga. Or, rather, it is a timely book for me... I needed to read about all this stuff. For example, I've taken Marichi for granted. I've given no depth and soul over to the 4 primary Marichi poses. I've never had to. When you can bind in Mari D in your first yoga class, there isn't a lot of work that you'll get pushed into without your own internal discipline and, given all the other challenges in my practice, at least, it has been super easy to really avoid doing anything above and beyond here. I haven't practiced in two days with the moon day and all but last night I did do Mari A and B and I mean do them. I concentrated my energy not on the bind or the straight leg which is where I think, in the past, I've put most of my energy, but in the hip on the bent leg.... really engaging whatever those muscles are ;) In the book Gregor talks about how Mari A is a gift... and how it is a handicapped forward bend. This book is timely because, within all of the technical talk, there are absolutely perfect for me statements such as "The tendency here is to avoid taking weight into the bent leg, but to be propelled instead over onto the straight leg." He goes on to talk about the defeat of the posture with this tendency and ends on this line "The handicap becomes the gift." I can now see how Mari A and B are the preparation for Eka Padas..... this is where the work is... right here... in the series as laid out by Guruji... there is no need to practice anything else. Did you know that Marichi is said to have become one of the stars of the constellation Ursa Major -- a new way to look at the skies.

The Daughter broke out with this yesterday and demanded a picture:

What gives me the most pride in this picture is that this was not natural for her. She has been working and working on her lotus posture and taking great pride as she's eventually been able to "get it" -- while her front is very open, her hips are not and I'm stunned (and elated) at her discipline and desire to work with her body. I can't imagine having such body awareness at the age of 5. I've ignored my body and hid behind my low self-esteem (I didn't say that was better just that I'm not trying to hide behind it anymore) my entire life. Granted I have some really great defensive reasoning for this, in fact, I probably have the best reasoning in the world for this; however, the reasons are only excuses for me and the faster I let those go (yes I realize I'm 36), the more "whole" I become.

I feel a wonderful excitement for primary series this morning... reverence almost.

I had a credit at Neiman Marcus yesterday... so I finally splurged on this hat I've been wanting for a couple years. It's a Helen Kaminski hat... totally yuppie wear but it fits perfect and will block out the sun.. I got it in black...

Off to get ready for practice...