It felt so nice to be back home today.... home in the studio... it's fun to travel and practice with other teachers and I really love the space in Seattle but the magic of being in my own shala is divine... I love the energy and the people. Practice itself is a distant memory really... I tried a bit today to focus on what the muscles are doing but, quite frankly, I have no idea. I can't name my muscles except for those everyone knows like the bicep and the tricep and, moreover, I have no idea what is engaged when. I suppose this is why I should never be a yoga teacher. In a way I'm really glad to be so ignorant... I'm afraid with my personality type I'd become too obsessive about muscles and whatnot.

So, practice... ah... practice... let's see what I can remember... I got a lovely adjustment in Mari D again today.... I even got a pat on the back over it though I'm not sure what the pat was meant to say... My grunt interpretation skills are still sorely lacking... today Supta Kurmasana was like an angel sent from heaven... there it was... Dwi Pada -- no problem... my legs stayed there on their own, I wasn't fighting with my calves or quads and I wasn't really trying to keep my legs there, they just were there.... I managed to come up back to Dwi Pada on my own and move into Titthibasana, back into Bakasana but I still can't do the jump back from there. I am fairly sure this is a pec issue -- mine simply aren't ready to take on that kind of weight. Never fear, strength is coming back... someday I will be like a whole and normal person again and memories of this damned surgery and recovery will be even more distant than I remember them now. I had a lovely Pasasana today... though I admit to really liking Kiran's adjustment the best..she sorta pushes down on the side while twisting you and it really helps me to pull the twist from further down my spine. I did Bhekasana and then had to ask for an adjustment... I don't normally ask for adjustments but, let's face it, the remainder of my second series practice is greatly enhanced if I get that full lift in Bhekasana and it's simply something I can't do for myself, I can't push and pull at the same time.

I really tried in Ustrasana to lift through my chest... I'm so closed down and I realize this... but if you think about all the pain and agony filled in my chest over the years, well, I have compassion for myself in this regard... it will work out... it will come... just a lot more slowly than anything else I've had to work through. Laghu Vajrasana... I did in my own cheat way. This means that I'm doing the pose correctly but I'm not letting my head rest on the floor, I can feel the floor but I'm still maintaining my weight in the quads rather than coming down flat on my head... hold.. .lift... I can do this. As I came up, OKRGR walks over and says "I thought that was hard for you?" I wanted to stammer and say "It is (actually I think I did say that), I suck at it, what are you talking about..." but instead I thought...mhmmm... how nice of him to say something. Kapotasana... oh kapotasana... if you are new to my blog and don't know what kapotasna is... this is kapotasana -- mind you mine doesn't look like that... I think mine looks more like this. So, I see R, the assistant, standing in front of me, go over, walk my fingers into my toes, I feel him get under me, start the adjustment and then I see Kiran's toes... and I feel her put what I think was the front of her toes on my arms and I utter "Holy Shit" out loud... and then I decide to stop fighting and give myself over to this double adjustment... and I liked it... can I have that everyday please? I've decided my kapotasana would be easier and less scary if I could figure out how to breathe in it. Kapotasana is not breath retention.

The best moment happened in yoga today.... I was waiting for that adjustment in Bhekasana when I see a regular reader of mine (SHOUT OUT TO YOU DUDE!!!!) stand up from a backbend. The look on his face was priceless. I think it was completely unexpected for him... his face was this light of amazement, pride and honor. Tim turned to him and got a big huge smile... it was so lovely to see Tim in this light... a true moment. I know that my friend the reader will honor and treasure that moment for a very long time but I want to credit it for him too... it was a wonderful moment full of bliss.

As for my own backbends... well... they were just okay... my back hasn't been feeling very open since I got sick and I battled congestion throughout my practice today. I did manage to stand up a few times but my heels were out (bad lady!)... I did a few uncontrolled and thudding dropbacks before Tim said "I've seen enough."

I think The Daughter is ready to read... She read the word dot today... was very proud of herself. I've decided we have to start having more concrete family things -- Sunday dinners with the extended family, afternoons at the grandparents... I have no idea how to pull this off will all the stuff going on but it's something that feels right nonetheless.

The Husband surprised me and told me he had wanted to do the first series class tomorrow night at the club but isn't sure he can because he had a mole removed today (well more than just a mole, long story). I don't know how to feel about that. Of course, I'm elated that he wants to go again... of course. In fact, that is how I feel. I would so love to share this journey with him. Wouldn't that be amazing.

A parent took some pictures last Friday while I was teaching:

Assisting with a backbend.. this is his second full wheel ever....

The infamous and much beloved "Dhanurasana swing" -- this is The Daughter and I setting up....

Lined up for the Dhanurasana Swing... they love this!

Backbend partners --- most of the little girls do their own backbends and I help the boys... this little boy's mother is a yoga teacher and he really likes backbends... he especially likes dropbacks.

The Daughter waiting her turn... poor thing is always demonstrating and then waiting...

The best moment..savasana..floating on their clouds..these two little ones, eyes closed, sharing energy...