It was a sauna at practice this morning. I was sweating before the first ekam. My ankle was hurting a bit and I skipped Janu Shirasana B and C on that side (to which I was told that my having been hit by a baseball was the first time he's ever heard that one). I managed to do the half lotus postures, it seems to hurt less turning it that way than externally. Still, in Utpluthi I had enough to hold onto in the bandha at the end but my ankle was giving way so I came down. Today was actually a first for me... in what feels like forever but surely was probably never even, I held headstand for all the count, plus ardha and back up. I didn't even FEEL my incisions... this means that not feeling them IS there somewhere. I had fun with backbends today. I laughed through half of them... just fun... I remembered that moment though... the one where you just give over to it... fuck just go forward and up and close the third eye and it will come... and I did... I think all 3 times... they weren't pretty mind you, I'm not talking perfection in any way shape or form, in fact, I was told they were circus-like, but I can feel that moment now and it is pretty sweet. Scary.... but sweet.

Today I went to Whole Foods to grocery shop. Whole Foods is like an excursion for me. I love shopping at our local health food store and supporting someone literally in my community as he lives and works here in my neck of the woods. But Whole Foods has everything. The Husband let me go alone and I spent like 20 minutes in the vitamin/middle of the store section alone. I love how Whole Foods always employees people that are unique and yet you feel so normal around. Cool people... people who fit your bubble! Or my bubble anyway, yours may be entirely different. This was demonstrated today when I was at the front of the store, walking to the check-out when some older gentleman, okay just man, yells out, literally yells out loud, slouching on his cart, halfway across the store "HEY YOU what I want to know is how you can read that map on your back." I just kept walking, I figured why bother... a store clerk gets in step next to me, looks at me, rolls his eyes and says "that's a beautiful piece." Thanks man... it is, I love it!

Yesterday at The Son's baseball game another mother asked about my tattoo. She then asked me what religion Hindu would be. I explained that, indeed, Hinduism is the religion. Then she asked me if I could identify her how Hindus, Muslims and Christians differ. I thought for a few minutes and then I told her that I thought she was asking the wrong person because if you ask me they are all the same, they all lead to the same God, it's just different words. Tonight I flipped open my new Easwaran book and landed on a page from the Gita:

He who knows me as his own divine Self,
As the Operator in him, breaks through
The belief he is the body, and is
Not born separate again. Such a one
Is united with me, O Arjuna.

As people approach me, so I received
Them. All Paths lead to me, O Arjuna."

Fascinating for it to land on that page.

This brings me to thinking about my tattoos... they are all so special to me. I love them all and for various reasons. I love that strangel came with me to get my first... well second... she was with me for my first though too but that was a much different experience. I love that my two best friends and I decided we were all gonna ink on the same day at the same time and it didn't even matter that we weren't all in the same room together... we all got ink, went and got burritos and had dinner with the family. I love that Neti drew my back for me. My angel, though not my style and certainly not something I would have considered putting my body, the angel is for my mother because no matter that we don't have the type of relationship portrayed in all those TV shows, her getting this tattoo was truly a remarkable acceptance for me. So, I've been thinking about the Ganesh and whether or not another tattoo is not something I should do. The thing is the Ganesh really feels right. I can't even explain it in some lofty spiritual relationship way.. it's just a feeling.. and when I explore it I always come back to the night in the hospital where all I could think on was Ganesh and wanting to get through that first night. I tried so hard to meditate and all these months I thought of myself as a failure at it and what I finally realized is the only memory I really have is that I was thinking about Ganesh. I don't remember the pain and I don't remember the fear, they are just like the tangents of childbirth -- we say we'll never forget but, let's face it, you can't put a tap on the experience. I do remember the magic of that morning when Clio brought me a little Ganesh out of the blue... and it was so perfect. Just the feeling of perfection.

Tonight I listened to The Cure. Old Cure back when The Cure was still okay. 7 Seconds...

I made a lamb curry tonight. I had this inkling in the back of my head for like the past 3 weeks telling me to eat lamb. I normally would talk myself out of this for forever but finally decided I should listen to it. My stomach hurt like a mother after.

I'm in L.A. all day tomorrow... no practice. I'm looking at it as a lovely way to give my ankle a rest though I'm sad because I anticipate this will be a special day for someone I know!

So so sad... my trip to Whole Foods led me to a new love. Bye Bye Clementine.