One of the good things about being reverted back to the world of having to fit in your practices (as opposed to the pre HH days of knowing that was just part of my day) is that I'm also starting to remember the joy in self practice occassionally. I'm so blessed to be here and have my teacher here but, in the days before I had grown to having a practice there, I often did a self practice. Actually, every Sunday I did. I really really enjoyed yesterday afternoon and I'm wondering if maybe I'm in a place where that's what I need. Maybe... it really resonated with me. On the other hand, I've also had a wonderful insight into just how much I respect the quiet teaching method of my teacher. He opens up the space with his energy and that's all there is. The rest is you and the mat and your practice. Sometimes, in classes I've gone to, there's just too much talking... too much pull your front xyz muscle this way and pull your some internal organ to the sky stuff. That kinda stuff I just don't get and it's not that it's bad or that I'm casting judgment it's just this real definitive understanding of myself and how I function. Other people function entirely differently... cool. But, anyway, I used to really love practicing alone, here or there, at the gym or by the beach... I might try that again sometime. It takes a lot of discipline to practice on your own. I have so much respect for those people who do this practice of Pattabhi Jois' Ashtanga Yoga and they aren't blessed with a place to practice at all... like no teachers... no adjustments to depend on.... only your mind to keep you on this path and practice. That's pretty cool.

Tonight when I got home we made dinner and we decided to take a family walk around the block. The Son then decided he wasn't going and as soon as The Daughter walked outside and her little friend next door was out, she didn't want to go. The Husband and I, however, perserved and decided to go anyway (don't worry, the neighbors were watching the children). It was nice.. really nice.. The sun is here... it's so invigorating. Who can't just feel that much better about life when the sun is out and we blissfully drink it in? I love the sun...

This week has been spring break. The Daughter has had 4 playdates. The Son has had one. The Husband thinks that The Son feels "badly" that The Daughter has so many. It's just so much easier with The Daughter and I'm not sure I know why. I think, mostly, it is because you know the other parents so well. In elementary school, I couldn't pick out the parents of the kids in The Sons class if you lined them up in front of me. It's also really hard for us to do playdates at our house and reciprocate since I'm not here anymore and that would leave The Husband with working and the kids all by himself. The Daughter is also just a total social butterfly and all the little kids in her class always want her around. The Son is much more internal and introspective and, frankly, sometimes happier playing alone. We often worry about this. In fact, it terrifies me... I feel somehow like I've failed. At what I don't know... hell I'm the same way... but that's the feeling nonetheless.

The Daughter and I have a little routine at night. I always say to her "Did I tell you today that you are ...." and I list a bunch of things I can think of. Sometimes she helps me like the time she whispered "best gymnastics star" but usually they are things like "you are the smartest, funniest, strongest..." It's always fun to listen to the ones she asks me to include. When she says I didn't tell her then, of course, I have to say them all again. It's very important to practice this procedure so that you don't get any of them out of order (for that reason you tend to make up a little song about it in your head for remembrance). I thought it was beautiful when The Daugher tried it on me ... and she said "Did I tell you today that you are the best yoga mommy, silliest, cook Mommy today"

I practiced today... it's a moonday... bad lady. I don't even know exactly why I practiced today... I just felt like I should take it while I could. It was sort of unusual because the class only had one person show up and I started 1/2 hour early. So it was sorta a Mysore practice... but really it was like a private lesson. The teacher led the other person who had never done ashtanga I think through first series up to Navasana... I did my practice. I have figured out, however, that if I only have lunch hour, I need to remove some stuff so I'm actually skipping a lot of the forward bends in first series. One paschimottanasana, ardha badha, trianga, one Janu Shirsana, Mari A, B & D and then the rest of first. Just skipping those really helps time wise. It sorta sucks but it works. I couldn't do any standups today again. No idea. I felt so bad for the lady in the class though because it must be wierd to show up to a class and there's no one else there. She was really amazing though... Janu C, no problem, first ashtanga class.

In music news... I was in full 80s rocker mode. I listened to Motley Crue, Guns & Roses, AC/DC, Metallica. I was saving Pink Floyd for the bath or jacuzzi tonight. When it came down to it, I intended to find some song to listen to but I decided I wasn't done with Wish You Were Here so I listened to that again. The Sky Diamond thingy song came on right after...what an amazing song! I loved that one.