This blog is actually pretty cool... With the outing of an original crunchy granola reader outed to join mamakat, why, it reminds me of how this blog is really a life change documented. On my back is the tattoo with Atma [realized self/soul], Wife/Mother/Yogini ... It's pretty wild when you reminsce about the path of being a parent. This blog started before my first yoga class, when I was really in the throes of those times at as a parent of infants when you just have to say "I am not me, I am here solely for them and nothing else matters." No matter what those of you without children think there simply are times when you have to do that, in fact, early on, there are a lot of those times. Finding the ability to give yourself over to that, release all that makes you you, you really strip away just so much of your bullshit. It's one of the most special things about children... they provide you the opportunity to see a window to yourself. What I've realized as I've traveled on the path of parenting is that everyone's journey to that space is just somewhat different. We all bring our own baggage into the mix, our needs to get across to our children about what is important. At some point we realize we have to let go and we have to let them be but, for now, we also recognize the job that being a parent is. Really cool.

I had a revelation tonight... I needed to think about the answer to a question someone asked me so I decided to take a bath and think on it... when choosing music from the iPod I came across Led Zeppelin. I'm ashamed to admit it but I've never really listened to Led Zeppelin. Wild I know but I haven't. I came across it on my iPod and so I decided to try it. I had no idea what song to pick since I know nothing about Led Zeppelin so I just let it randomly choose and i have to say, holy cow... WOW... they rock. I don't know what the song was but it was so absolutely perfect for the moment. I'm not even sure I understood the lyrics. So, I've left it on all this time and the one thing I've noticed is that you'll be listening and then you realize like 5 minutes later you are still istening to the same song. Really cool.

Long train ride home, forgot my phone so I was bored to death. The man who sat next to me had terrible flatulence and I found myself getting near angry. I wanted to turn and shout at him "What the hell dude, that's sick!" but instead I held my tongue. It made me think about just how frustrated I was. I can't remember being like that before I started working "for real" again. I guess I sorta looked at life pre-Office as really great. I mean Life Was Good. I did yoga, I worked, I had children, I was a parent, it all melded together, I got everything done, I felt good about it all and I was really balanced. Now all of that has to fit around working and there is no balance. I don't have enough time for anything else. I haven't even cooked a meal in weeks. Seriously, weeks. And that's the crux of it. It's not that I care really about where I work (meaning whether I'm in my closet or a corner office) it's just that I have no balance. Is it possible to have that balance when you have to be somewhere other than in your life for 8 hours everyday? I'm not sure it is. In fact, I'd venture to guess this is the crux of half the ills with society. There's no balance. Really not cool.

On The iPod:

Led Zeppelin