Per the post below, today being the day that marks 4 years of Ashtanga Yoga, I was really pumped for practice today... though I knew it had to be a speedy one since I'm technically working, I was really happy to make time for it. I came to work at 6am, spent some time in frustration with the new O12 open file format and then left for practice. I lost my Treo (CIODude.. I know, it's like my leg is broken and blood is spurting out everywhere) and I worried over going to practice at all but, in the end, I decided when I took this job I took it under the guise of "some flexibility" and I figure as long as I put in my 8 hours, I should be okay. Should being the operative word there.

The room was intensly heated up thanks to the 7am class... I laid out the mat and went immediately into the practice. 4As, 3Bs, skipped Hanumanasana today, no time for a break from the series... if Guruji can get us done in under 90 minutes, surely I can get myself there too, right? While I was in Prasaritas today Rich came over and adjusted the left side of my hip... he said it was up slightly, in C, he moved my arms over slightly saying they were off center. How unusual is that... something to think about. I blew through to seated... had a lovely time hanging out in forward bends. Rich gave me an adjustment to Dwi Pada today.... I actually held it momentarily on my own but couldn't pull off coming back up with my legs still there. I rocked all the way through to Setu Bandhasana in just over an hour... I could barely pull off Setu as I had so much sweat that my head was slipping all over my mat and using my Yogi Toes towel didn't help at all. I hung out and waited for an adjustment in Bhekasana... wanted that nice backbend again and that opening that I felt yesterday after... I wasn't disappointed though perhaps a little silly for waiting. Does anyone else feel really silly doing Parsva Dhanurasana? I always do.

Oh Laghu, Laghu, Laghu.... will I ever find a comfortable place for you? I've been really really paying attention to drishte since I got the Mysore Style book. Seeing pictures of people with such killer focus got me thinking how often I let that slide.... I've been really really concentrating on it now and I've noticed a huge difference. So in Laghu, I really focused on coming down, looking at my nose ring and I got down there.... and I could feel my hair on the ground and I held it 3 breaths... then I came back up and I got this GNARLY cramp in BOTH my calves.... so much so that I couldn't even straighten out my ankle. I was dying.. I wanted to yell in pain but Tim was right next to me so I suffered quietly. I worked it out and decided I was frustrated so I did it again.. back, back, hair on the ground... holding, holding... and I couldn't get up .... almost fell out and then somehow pushed with one hand against my ankle and got up slightly crooked and with more cramps in the calves. I quickly moved into downward dog to try and work them out but I can still an hour later or more feel the cramp in the calf. What is the deal with that? Am I doing something wrong?

Backbends were amazing today... simply and completely amazing. I could have done 50.. but I'd only done two when Tim was asking "How many!" I'm trying to figure out what the deal is around me and backbends.. he's very intense with me about it and I don't really see him like that with other people. I recognize there is a lot of shit tied up in my backbends, emotionally and physically, and I also recognize I shouldn't wonder what the degree of intensity is about but I'm a bit confused on what I'm supposed to be doing for my backbend sequence right now. I need to ask but haven't had the opportunity. So, given his question, I didn't stand on 3... instead I did 3 Guruji style (down to my head for one breath) and then a couple more and then I stood up. Tim said "You stood!" I said "yes" and we did assisted dropbacks which were quite different today... interestingly different but something I have yet to put my finger on. On the last one we did the magic one handed lift and my feet only very very slightly turned out and I didn't think I used his hand much... I shouldn't wonder it but I'm confused about the dropback thing and whether I'm supposed to attempt them or not. Maybe he's waiting for straight feet?

Things between The Husband and I never got better last night... in fact, we've barely spoken. One of those fights where you lose what it was really about and know eventually it will just float away but you're too busy and tired to really think about it for the moment. We've had a couple brief conversations with our regular terms of endearment but not any substantial discussion if you know what I mean. However in what could prove to be a really interesting situation for me, The Husband told me he will likely come to Kiran's T/TH noon class with me at PAC and try it out. Given the conversations I've been having via email with some of the most amazing female ashtangis I know, if he does, it should be really interesting.

If you haven't already read Neti's blog, go check out his shirts... though I can count myself in the elite "I had it first" group (so nanny nanny boo boo), you too can have one of his custom made for Guruji, pure love infused tshirts and support Guruji's charity too.