Man, I'll tell ya... I'm so wiped out. Emotionally, Physically... it's amazing but I just feel totally out of it suddenly. I haven't practiced in like a week, since Monday and, yet, it feels like yesterday. At least I have an excuse for the past 2 days, Ladie's Days, but I've gotta get my act back together. No wonder I'm a littling mess.

Before I begin, let me start by saying that I'm having my second dessert by new health food store brand smart TREAT and I have to say it rocks. The ingredients are few: organic brown crispy rice, organic brown rice syrup, organic coconut, chocolate (made with rapadura, coca liquer, unrefined cocao butter, vanilla extract) and, lastly, Ricemellow Creme. The name is "chocolate mellow krispie" and I originally bought them for The Daughter's birthday celebration at preschool but since I was at the hospital all Thursday, I never got time to mactually make anything with them. What is Ricemellow anyway? Rice - mellow. Like a marshmellow? They are like chocolate rice krispie treats with chocolate chips only way less sticky. ricemellow. Who knew!

Today was The Daughter's birthday. Her birth story is under the "On This Day" link for her first birthday (beware, some n*d*t* involved and it's not like sexy, it's childbirth). I mean, afterall, I know some of you AMUers are actually still around ;) We didn't do much of anything. We went to Kis for lunch and then I slept all afternoon. I feel like we've let them down so much for their birthdays but they wanted Disneyland for a weekend instead of parties. I felt some obligation to them for a party and presents but then I got thinkig about how silly that was. Afterall, they know what a party means adn they opted for not so they made a conscious choice and I should feel good about that. The Never Good Enough Parent side of me feels as if I've stabbed my heart as it stands on my sleeve that I've deprived them of a party. :) :)

I have been thinking of taking The Daughter to Krishna Das while he's here. She loves a couple of his songs and I think she'd really dig it. We might and probably would have to leave early but would enjoying that energy with her be worth not staying for a whole concert? I think it would.

Tonight I wondered how people pick their Ishwara diety. I've never really thought about actually picking one before. I mean, it just didn't seem like something I needed to do on my path of spiritualness but suddenly tonight I started considering what that meant (I don't think I'm 100% sure yet) and had some deep rooted inclination that I'm supposed to do this... if I could only figure out just what (or who) it is that calls me.