Have you ever had one of those moments where you are deeply concentrating and meditating but you are letting all your thoughts really float to the top and you are observing, you aren't engaging, just observing... then suddenly this thought comes and grabs your attention and you have an insight and suddenly you know in your physical body that this is your truth. Your heart hurts... I mean really hurts. Suddenly you realize that your heart really does hurt and you become aware of pain in your body which brings you out of the abyss and back to this reality and the hard truth sits quietly in your gut and you aren't sure what to do with it. I had that experience tonight and while the truth is still resonanting somewhere in the subconscious I'm not ready to face yet I realized how much our body really does hold onto us tightly. Which is greater, the physical pain or the truth which has suddenly landed square in your sights and you haven't yet figured out if you can release it.

Anyway, think we see this battle between the body and the mind in yoga and that it's the juice that keeps us coming back for more. It's that edge where the body hasn't yet taken control of the mind or is it that the mind hasn't yet taken control of the body? Ah, the unanswered questions.

Tomorrow we are getting date night. The first date night in a long time. We are going to get a drink and then go to dinner at Amici's. I went there once with Kiran and I thought maybe The Husband would like it. It kinda sucks these days because when we go out at night, we don't feel like we can really just hang out and let what happens happen... I mean, a couple hours in and ya gotta worry about it being too late for the babysitter or whether the kids have had issues. Every now and again it would be nice to let caution fly to the wind and stay out for like 3 hours or something. I guess we do do that in September but, hell, we have to the leave the country for it!

This means an early morning Mysore that I'm not packed for yet... the freedom I used to have is long gone and I have to actually be a thinking, working person again. I tell you, on the one hand, that bliss of my days before were wonderful. It's not that I did any less work, in fact, I probably did more... it's that I did it in the manner that jelled with my lifestyle. On the other hand, I do find some joy in the nice clothes everyday (though I can't believe we don't have even casual Fridays.. just one day of jeans would be nice) and the meditation of thinking in this working world all day. It's kinda a trip actually. I'm still working through finding the balance between the two on a regular basis.