Today... today is just a wild day. I feel this just infusion of passion for the practice.... like that finally I feel back to the mat. It's been a long time since I've felt that way. I have appreciated and said many prayers that I've been able to practice at all given the past year, believe me, but practice, in large part, has been all about effort and trying to get my muscles to respond again. I can't wait for practice in the morning (let's hope I feel that way in the morning -- how long does the yoga high last?).

I was having a personal conversation with CIODude earlier about college days. I was always that kid who was totally in control. Like I'd go out and get all messed up and whatnot but I was always the one who left enough room at the end for the safe ride home (okay so maybe sometimes we were foolin ourselves). I always sat on the edge of the cliff and sorta just hung my ground... it was sorta wierd to be that person... especially because a lot of the time now I feel so out of control with my life. It's a totally different way but still the words self-control are at the core.

Which brings me to ink. I really want more ink. I know I said I was done... but I have just had this wierd itching to get a Ganesh. I don't know what kind or where or how big but it's just this total wiggly feeling I've had since Lucia brought me the beautiful Ganesh while I was in the hospital after I'd spent that first evening chanting and praying to Ganesh to get me through it. The thing is I feel like what I have now is the edge of the cliff. I totally dug getting my tattoos... but it's like a high unto itself, right... and you keep going for it. It's a high on so many levels and in so many ways, the physical experience, the permanent marking on your body.... but I still want the Ganesha.

Work was crazy today... tomorrow I'm in OC all day but am going to practice first. Speaking of, now that I've had all day to sit on my high and feel totally out of it, I've had some time to remember and reflect on the physical aspects of it. That reflection is an entire different part of the practice for me... the insights into my physical body that lead me to my mind. So today I did chatarungas with only slight cheating (which is like using the sides of your arms to lessen the weight) which is a huge change from just a few weeks ago when I couldn't do a single one. Today I got bound in Supta Kurmasana all by myself which rocked and then I had Rich help me into Dwi Pada and it felt like I was cracking open at the heart. Ah, that's such a great feeling. And the rest is all gravy.. actually I lost my train of thought doing an IM and so I figure forget it :> I did, however, do a really really really slow magic hand adjustment lift today on my last dropback... and you know it was wild because I could REALLY feel it. It was also somewhat scary because it was so slow that there was danger that I wasn't coming up but I felt pretty good in it anyway. Maybe it's that cliff thing again?