Today was Friday which means today was teach yoga for kids day. We've been teaching the class in this little classroom so today we decided to try it outside on the grass. I always get there early and setup the mats, etc... Today I had about 10 minutes to wait after setup so I decided to do some drop backs. I put my hands on my lower thighs and just hung out for awhile, finally putting my hands down... then I played around with one hand down and then the other, both at the same time, etc., etc. I probably did at least 10 backbends while waiting.

What I realized later is that I'm freakin' out today. My boss even noticed it and I blamed it on the caffeine. I've been a basket case all day... just mentally out there. I finally noticed that I was having a hard time insulating myself.... like I was just totally raw and out there.... it's just all hanging out. I had a conversation with an ex-boyfriend and I was acting like a complete idiot. I had business conversations today where I could barely hold it together. You know how we go through our lives and we constantly check in with ourselves and we determine, perhaps, what we might say or not say depending on the situation? Well, I am normally pretty good with that and today I just failed miserably. I'm sure half the people in my world think I'm completely losing my mind. It could be stress given my week but, honestly, the more the day went on, the more I realized I was just raw... completely and totally raw... I have had some wierd emotional things of late but I actually had the thought that I feel like I've got those in the right line of sight.... Mind blowing? Maybe but with the 6 regular backbends, the 5 or 6 I did with Kiran and then regular dropbacks plus the ones I did hanging out... I've done a lot more backbends today than I normally do. I'm figuring that the backbends have blown my heart wide open... and we all know the heart is attached to the mind... I lost my insulation... I blew through the wall of my facade for just a tiny moment (or maybe a few of them) and my interactions with people were raw, uncensored wailings of a sort. Simply mind blowing.

I finally accomplished packing... I think... as I lay here I just have to throw up my hands... I'm so brain dead, I can't get my thoughts together enough to understand whether or not I've actually packed the things I need or whether I will get there and have a huge bag full of inappropriate items... I suppose we'll soon find out.