The alarm went off at 6:07 this morning (I've simply never bothered to change the minutes to a more appropriate setting)... It was one of those times when the alarm clock goes off and I am so tired, so very tired.. and I realize that I've actually been sleeping and sleeping heavily. I was almost angry. I argued with myself, "If I close my eyes now, I bet I could get back to it." "Who am I kidding, in a half hour both kids will be bouncing around?" "Just get the hell out of bed already." I finally stumbled into the closet at 6:23. Threw on the first clothes I could find, grabbed my toothbrush, checked my email and left. I felt better once I got in the car and I was totally stoked to be doing a Mysore class here again. Sadly, my practice was one of those where you just wonder what you are doing there, you feel like you look horrible, are doing everything wrong, don't have even a beginning practice and that you're never, ever going to see another pose in your lifetime. I can't pinpoint exactly what sucked. The first thing I can identify is that I'm totally and completely sensitive to textures. So this beautiful ring, well, I can't get it off my finger (I always have a hard time getting my rings off because my knuckles are so much bigger than my finger but, in this case, I simply can't get it off -- my fingers may be slightly swollen due to moon coming, who knows). I don't ever practice with jewelery on and my wedding rings are the traditional Tiffany's knife edge which means that when you clapse hands or what not, it actually hurts. I was acutely aware of these rings throughout my practice. Hands on floor, could feel it pressing into me, Utthita Pasta Padaghustasana, my wrapped fingers were pressing against it. I now know I'm sensitive to texture because, as you all know, different floors both me, clothes, etc. I wonder if I have some tidbit of Sensory Integration Disorder or maybe this is just where my own obsessive compulsive personality shines through.

I was also acutely aware of how much my chatarungas SUCK in every single one I did (has anyone ever counted how many of those there are in first series). I tried all different ways to do it but I don't think any of them even approached a semblance of "well." I wonder if I psyched myself out into a bad practice because of it. I fell out of Bhujapindasana when I was coming back up with my teacher standing right next to me. I got a nice grunt and a point for that one. While I've been able to successfully bind and cross my feet in supta kurmasana lately, today I was only able to grab fingers and barely get my feet towards my head. I did manage to roll in Garbha Pindasana today but it took me probably 20 turns and I did have to cheat on one to get myself around. I didn't even attempt baddha k's forward bend today. My backbends continue to be a problem. What I don't get is that for awhile, my backbends were pretty good... but I'm not even close to this:

anymore (just looking at how far my feet are from my hands -- my feet are splayed here because I think I was trying to get up that way in an attempt to see if I would be successful cheating)... at least I don't feel like I'm close to that --- On my last backbend I held my teacher's ankles which feels great...I feel like I get a lot deeper into them with that extra help... and when he helped me up on my last one he said I used my legs a lot more. Then he grunted and prepared to have a linebacker come at hime for dropbacks :) On my up from dropbacks I went right back to coming up with my back instead of my legs. Practice, practice and more practice and maybe, just maybe, one day I'll get it.

Most surprising was the one pose I thought would be hardest with rings on was actually easier today than normal - headstand. Who knows...

This week is going to suck a bit for me. Still have the big consult project to finish, my own real job, volunteering for a special project in The Daughter's class, client meeting Wednesday smack dab in the middle of Mysore *SOB* and Disneyland on Friday morning... I think what I'm going to do is "put off" my children until 9am and have The Husband drop them off at the shala. I'll go to Disneyland all sweaty as we are staying at the Disneyland Hotel and I can shower there mid-afternoon. Then I will at least get to practice Thursday and Friday morning of this week. I will probably get to practice Sunday then I leave for New York on Monday (and I'm taking my dear friend Lucia to her very first Mysore class with her teacher who does Mysore twice a week... I'm so excited!

To drown my sorrows over not practicing tomorrow... I've just eaten 4 little chocolates... I believe I have started the Ashtangi Chocolate Exchange. When I got home from my trip to Seattle, waiting on the counter was this lovely box of chocolates from the beautiful Diane whom I met in Tulum and is moving to Encinitas shortly... All ashtangi's know that chocolate is an approved food right? :)