OverAnalytical, Me?
The Son has this friend from school, he sometimes gets Lunchables in his lunch. The Son really really wanted to try one so, me, being the mom I am, I got him the St. Ives Good Lunch (a.k.a. the crunchy granola mom version of Lunchables). I haven't stepped foot into a "mainstream" grocery story in so long, I can't even remember the last time I actually shopped at one for food. I, once a month, enter Vons to pick up my prescription and, while there, I walk down the aisles feeling like I'm in a foreign country. I usually have this mantra playing in the back of my head "People actually eat this stuff..." as if it is poison or something along the lines of brussel sprouts (does anyone really like brussel sprouts?).
Tonight, for reasons I don't really want to go into (not that they are some deep and involved reason but because I really want to get to my point and am fearful of veering in another direction), I decided to buy The Son a Lunchable for his lunch tomorrow. The conversation in my head simply to GET to the point of saying "Okay, I think I could buy my child a Lunchable" is simply overwhelming. Along the lines of something like this: "but, but, it isn't organic, it's made with crap, it's horrible, horrible, I would never send my child to school with a Lunchable..." and on, and on, and on... But, ya know, why is that? I don't eat purely organic. Is that because I don't truly believe that all these fucking food chemicals are going to kill me? Is that because I don't truly believe in avoiding the big fucking huge corporations that are making those corporations - you know the ones, the ones that govern our society? Why is it that this country is constantly governed by the extremely wealthy -- isn't there more people who are not extremely wealthy? Why would they(we,I,you because, let's face it, anyone in that category likely isn't reading this blog) accept the "rule" of these CEOs, blue blood Americans and uber national lobbyists? But, wait, aren't we talking about organic food...
Ah, and here we are, finally at my point. I spent all the days of my life constantly questioning everything...from the food I put in my mouth, to the state of my contentment in life. For once, I'd like to just accept here is where I am. It doesn't matter where I want/need/have to go... I'm here now. Instead of constantly seeking (and I'm talking mostly spiritually here), why not just be here. If that means that tomorrow my kid has a Lunchable *shudder* so be it.
So, you know, I went and got that Lunchable and as I'm paying the cashier I just wanted to scream I swear I'd never buy this for my kid!!! There I was, though, buying it...
Comments
I Like brussells sprouts..........
todays' Blog is very Zen of you. congrats.
Love you
Posted by: imp | November 20, 2002 7:39 AM
Yes, I like Brussels Sprouts too....
Posted by: b | November 20, 2002 2:02 PM
well, then it's settled...the two of you are freaks! freaks! freaks! one of you listens to rap and the other of you listens to Talking Heads (which, in some cases is just as bad)... what has my world come to?
Posted by: Julie | November 20, 2002 2:13 PM
Oh. My. Face it, that "woeful boy on the school bus every morning" commercial did a number on you! I am LMAO at the parallel occurence last night. I too purchased the first ever OscarMeyer product (Lunchables) with my own hard earned money! I had almost e-x-a-c-t-l-y the same dialogue with myself as I approached the cashier at the convenience store. It was midnight. I was starving. It was so weird how it dawned on me to even look at that product as something worth considering as nutrition. My yoga instructor said...just last night...to the entire class..."If you can buy it a gas station, it is definitely a toxin laden substance. That is some scary shit. But if it is so scary, why and how can I be so desensitized enough to blatantly ingest it? The hydrogenated oils and aspartame truly scare the shit out of me. I've got literature if you're interested, btw.
Posted by: Leigh | November 20, 2002 3:13 PM
...raising hand...I like brussel sprouts also...
I confess to buying all assorted kinds of crap for my family but pretending that I don't. I always notice the garbage in the cart of the person ahead of me in line, but then feel incredible shame when some of the same garbage is in my own.
Posted by: Bonny | November 20, 2002 8:39 PM
I often read your blog, comforted that someone else has these very confusing, intense inner feelings.
I don't think one lunchable will pave your road to eating hell.
(((hugs)))
Posted by: Kym | November 21, 2002 10:44 AM
*raising hand* I like brussel sprouts too (not boiled though - roasted with rosemary and a drizzle of citrus olive oil, kosher salt and fresh ground pepper)...why do we beat ourselves up over these things? I mean we can't escape this culture completely no matter how much we may despise it if we choose to participate in it at all. Here the inner battle is over plastic, heavily marketted, low play value, bionicle lego. I let the marketting into my home. The want fear need cycle started with that and it takes a lot for me to find my peace with it...but I do, then lose it, then find it again. Wes and I have these discussions about the real inner peace that comes with simple ignorance. I really wish I had that sometimes. I wish I knew nothing about whats in my food, just ate to meet my hunger and please my taste buds. I wish I knew nothing about educational alternatives and sent my kids off to school sure that public education was a good thing and would prepare them for the world and felt I was involved in their education because I made cookies for every bake sale and sat down to do their homework with them in the evening. *sigh* I think there's a personal spiritual victory in buying that lunchable Julie, I really do!
Posted by: dirt | November 21, 2002 6:33 PM
Leigh, OMG what a parallel... I can't believe you were purchasing a Lunchable at the same time I was.
Kym, my whole life is a mixture of these intense, inner monologues. As dirt mentioned, I'd sometimes relish having the inner peace that comes with just accepting and doing rather than thinking about every little thing I do. In fact, I'm so on burn out mode from thinking right now that I just feel like giving up for a day..or two...
Posted by: Julie | November 22, 2002 1:16 PM
Mmmmm . . . brussels sprouts! I braised some for our early Thanksgiving table and loaded up half of my plate with them. Yum yum yum!
Posted by: Larissa | November 25, 2002 6:39 AM